I am a victim of being Catfish'd

[Cricky712]

Trying to make it short as possible. I've met this girl (Jillian) on WoW 6 years ago, She was from Michigan. 5 years went by and we chatted here and there aim/texts/skype, but not until last year we got serious i guess. we started dating and there were so many red flags that i shouldve seen. i mean this Girl was actually a Guy, with a voice changer that he uses on skype and somehow his phone. I am more pissed, upset at myself more than anything right now, thinking that ive found the "one" but until last night. Jillian always talked about how awesome her brother "Drew" was. so i had a gut feeling and decided to look her brother up on FB, to find out that Drew is actually the guy disguising as "Jill"

How i know? Well the bastard had his number on that FB. especially on his status telling people to text him because he has a new number. and 2. The pictures ive been seeing him disguise as. well there was this girl on his friend list that look Exactly like Jill. but her name was Lisa... i confronted the A---hole last night. and he came on skype it took a while but he told the truth. He even used the voice changer turning it on and off. and ffs he sounds exactly like a girl with it on. All of his online friends still think that hes a girl, i was the only one to find this out, i hate my life at this point i really dont know what to do =(

[Stokens]

That sounds terrible, I couldn't imagine especially for that amount of time. I suggest keep playing your game and if that's how you'd like to meet somebody maybe be a bit more cautious and use a webcam if it gets to that point again. Atleast you are still not being strung around at the moment, I'd focus on that. Hope you feel better soon.

[Cricky712]

That sounds terrible, I couldn't imagine especially for that amount of time. I suggest keep playing your game and if that's how you'd like to meet somebody maybe be a bit more cautious and use a webcam if it gets to that point again. Atleast you are still not being strung around at the moment, I'd focus on that. Hope you feel better soon.

Thanks Stoken =( that was the first sign was "She" didnt wanna get on cam and another thing was never wanted gifts, also holding out on meeting each other. im a fool i know i poured my all into this imaginary person. but to find out that its some over weighted guy that pretty much made me feel disgusted.. i mean if it was a female using another girls identity i wouldnt mind, but another guy?

[Zephii]

Is he just some dude trying to mess with people or is he transgendered (or whatever the proper term would be)? Maybe he wants to be "Jill". Or maybe he's just some arsehole playing jokes. What did he say when you confronted him?

[Efox]

ur unlucky...........i had a game online relation for 2 years, with guy that i didn't see on cam, but he would only send me edited photos, till one day he disspeared and i found his fb....i know how hurtfull it is, when someone lies, especially when you really trusted them...

[Dezface]

Ugh sorry dude. That blows. Not much else to say to that.

[Verojoon]

Is he just some dude trying to mess with people or is he transgendered (or whatever the proper term would be)? Maybe he wants to be "Jill". Or maybe he's just some arsehole playing jokes. What did he say when you confronted him?

I was wondering that too.. It seems for it to be going on so long there has had to be something more than just playing a prank... Well either way, it's upsetting and wrong... but if it he is also dealing with identity issues (I mean a whole Facebook persona, too!?) then it's also really sad for him...

[dem&ter]

Oh whoa! So sorry dude it happened! I meant, yeah... That's bad, and don't blame yourself that much, you're not a fool, you didn't know. That's it.

[Hollandia]

I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. I think that first and foremost, you need to know you did nothing wrong. You were tricked. As people screw us over in life we all get a bit more hardened. I am sorry but this will probably make it harder for the next woman you date. Please try to remember to take it slow and careful but don't fault her for what this as@hol# did to you.

There is a special place in he@@ for him. He did not deserve your time and affection. Some other women that does deserve you is out there....in your backyard or the other side of the globe.

I met my SO on a Scifi forum and we never even thought about dating before meeting. We exchanged pics before I flew over first time. I hate vid chat too but if you are starting a true LDR you need to do it before letting emotions go to deep and things get too steamy.

And no offense, but who cares if he was transgender or not.........he will just a lowlife............he lied to him. Pure and Simple. He was in the wrong.

I saw that movie Catfish and she lied to that guy and just lucky he felt sorry for her. This was like emotional rape, nobody deserves to be treated as such.

[Verojoon]

And no offense, but who cares if he was transgender or not.........he will just a lowlife............he lied to him. Pure and Simple. He was in the wrong.

I saw that movie Catfish and she lied to that guy and just lucky he felt sorry for her. This was like emotional rape, nobody deserves to be treated as such.

You're right. It is very wrong whether he is transgender or not... and you're totally right about it being the emotional equivalent to rape... I just meant that if there is identity issue added to the mix, then it is still wrong, and an absolutely horrid thing... but it is also sad... How could someone go to that level with someone else? I can't help finding it very sad... and disgusting...

[Hollandia]

You're right. It is very wrong whether he is transgender or not... and you're totally right about it being the emotional equivalent to rape... I just meant that if there is identity issue added to the mix, then it is still wrong, and an absolutely horrid thing... but it is also sad... How could someone go to that level with someone else? I can't help finding it very sad... and disgusting...

Consider me a bit jaded, but I only feel bad for the victim and not the criminial. This is just criminal to me. I was a victim in the past of emotional abuse and it pissed me off to no extent the way some tried to justify the reason for the criminal's reasons. For me, it made me feel like some were trying to say it was less of a crime and I had some part in the blame. This is just pure wrong. No victim is ever to fault, at all.

Call me bias, but I think before you worry about why the criminal did it, you take care of the victim first. The victim had no choice but to be criminalized, the criminal made their own choices for whatever reasons. This is not a blameless crime and the one to blame is the one that lied. The definition of a (civil)crime(in Delaware state code) is damage and intention. I see both here clearly.

What if it was the 50 year old woman with the rough life like the movie? Boo frakin hoo. It is still wrong. Get some help and find another outlet than emotionally raping some other human being. Sometimes the internet is a very dangerous thing. I will say this, we all have bad stuff happen to us. If we start excusing people for their crimes against each other because of this bad stuff, we are all just saying it is okay to commit such things if you are "really upset" or "really sad". I don't feel it is okay. You are responsible for your own actions regardless for the reasons you do them.

[LittleBox]

I am beyond lost for words. How someone can string another person along is beyond my understanding. I'm really sorry you were a victim of this but hopefully next time around you'll trust your gut on any red flags. Hang in there.

[Zephii]

I personally find that if I understand why someone has wronged me, it is easier for me to relate to them/forgive them and/or just move on. Understanding doesn't take away the pain, and it doesn't make wrong things right, but it can help us cope. It's harder to hate someone if you understand them, and in the end hate only hurts the person who feels it, not the person it is aimed at. I'm not saying we should make excuses for people or excuse them of their crimes, and I agree that victims should be the priority but it doesn't hurt someone to know why something happened to them and to receive closure.

You ask who cares about the criminals? I care. And I think we should all care. Because there is the chance (especially with young offenders) that their issues can be addressed and taken to a better place... they can be rehabilitated. Rehabilitated criminals are much better for our society than people locked in cells.

[Cricky712]

[5/28/2013 12:34:39 PM] Cricky: and it shows friends suggestion.
[5/28/2013 12:34:48 PM] Cricky: either you have 2 fb. which im sure you do
[5/28/2013 12:34:57 PM] Cricky: or i dont know
[5/28/2013 12:34:59 PM] Cricky: >_>
[5/28/2013 12:35:18 PM] Cricky: guess you go by a differant last name?
[5/28/2013 12:35:37 PM] Jillian: whats that
[5/28/2013 12:35:42 PM] Cricky: https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...41892041_n.jpg
[5/28/2013 12:35:50 PM] Cricky: https://www.facebook.com/lisa.noto.52 even
[5/28/2013 12:36:20 PM] Cricky: and from the looks of it your bday is on the 9th not the 11th?
[5/28/2013 12:37:08 PM] Jillian: nope
[5/28/2013 12:37:14 PM] Cricky: so.... care to explain because i feel like shit atm
[5/28/2013 12:38:11 PM] Jillian: well 1 thatsn ot me
[5/28/2013 12:38:20 PM] Cricky: are you sure?
[5/28/2013 12:38:23 PM] Jillian: posative
[5/28/2013 12:38:24 PM] Jillian: 2
[5/28/2013 12:38:27 PM] Cricky: she sure has all of your pictures
[5/28/2013 12:38:33 PM] Cricky: some i havent even seen...
[5/28/2013 12:38:34 PM] Jillian: i know ...
[5/28/2013 12:38:42 PM] Cricky: heck shes even friends with your brother?
[5/28/2013 12:38:44 PM] Jillian: ima be honsot with you iv been living
[5/28/2013 12:38:46 PM] Cricky: as i can see here
[5/28/2013 12:38:54 PM] Jillian: lieing
[5/28/2013 12:39:05 PM] Cricky: youve been lying..
[5/28/2013 12:39:24 PM] Jillian: i used 2 people i knew
[5/28/2013 12:39:28 PM] Cricky: guess all this has been a lie
[5/28/2013 12:39:34 PM] Cricky: feelings for me and stuff
[5/28/2013 12:39:39 PM] Cricky: i knew it was too good to be true.
[5/28/2013 12:39:48 PM] Cricky: fuck my life
[5/28/2013 12:40:08 PM] Jillian: thats not true
[5/28/2013 12:41:03 PM] Cricky: actually forget it. i dont know anymore
[5/28/2013 12:41:12 PM] Jillian: no i get your mad
[5/28/2013 12:41:16 PM] Jillian: u have every right to be
[5/28/2013 12:41:45 PM] Cricky: so... back in 2012 were you dating something.
[5/28/2013 12:41:49 PM] Cricky: honest answer.
[5/28/2013 12:41:52 PM] Cricky: July even.
[5/28/2013 12:41:55 PM] Jillian: thats not me
[5/28/2013 12:42:14 PM] Cricky: what do you mean thats nto you? you just told me
[5/28/2013 12:42:19 PM] Jillian: no
[5/28/2013 12:42:26 PM] Jillian: Think cat fish
[5/28/2013 12:42:39 PM] Cricky: wait.
[5/28/2013 12:42:41 PM] Cricky: so your saying
[5/28/2013 12:42:47 PM] Cricky: these pictures are not you?
[5/28/2013 12:42:49 PM] Jillian: my life that u know isnt the one i actually live
[5/28/2013 12:42:55 PM] Jillian: i took the names / photos
[5/28/2013 12:43:04 PM] Jillian: of people i knew and fabricated al ife that was better than my own
[5/28/2013 12:43:34 PM] Cricky: so pretty much the girl i fell for is not the girl in the picture?
[5/28/2013 12:43:49 PM] Jillian: yea =-(
[5/28/2013 12:44:04 PM] Cricky: wow.
[5/28/2013 12:44:11 PM] Cricky: then who are you really
[5/28/2013 12:44:15 PM] Jillian: im sorry i really am
[5/28/2013 12:45:12 PM] Jillian: I am Jillian but thats about were it stops i guess
[5/28/2013 12:46:07 PM] Cricky: is that why you were holding off us meeting?
[5/28/2013 12:46:42 PM] Jillian: yea =-(
[5/28/2013 12:47:03 PM] Cricky: how long were you going to let this go on?
[5/28/2013 12:48:25 PM] Jillian: honostly i dont know cuz i want to meet ya but on terms of me
[5/28/2013 12:49:25 PM] Cricky: i never thought, ive end up in this kind of a situation
[5/28/2013 12:49:47 PM] Jillian: nore should u have =-/
[5/28/2013 12:50:10 PM] Cricky: and i thought to myself "oh ive found the one" that i would love to spend my whole life with
[5/28/2013 12:50:59 PM] Cricky: ive never felt so comfortable around a person before. i pretty much gave myself to ya. and to find this out
[5/28/2013 12:51:03 PM] Cricky: just fucking kills me
[5/28/2013 12:51:12 PM] Cricky: i cant even eat my lunch right now
[5/28/2013 12:51:42 PM] Cricky: my eyes are just swollen
[5/28/2013 12:51:52 PM] Jillian: i am truely sorry
[5/28/2013 12:52:03 PM] Jillian: not sure what that means ne more
[5/28/2013 12:52:04 PM] Jillian: but ya
[5/28/2013 12:52:42 PM] Cricky: so besides the pictures, you living your life, is that really you?
[5/28/2013 12:53:44 PM] Cricky: your job, family, etc.
[5/28/2013 12:53:45 PM] Jillian: the names of people have been changed to people i knew
[5/28/2013 12:53:47 PM] Jillian: job nope
[5/28/2013 12:53:59 PM] Cricky: so what do you really do?
[5/28/2013 12:54:35 PM] Jillian: i do travel thats no lie i just work for a company that makes a differant products all together
[5/28/2013 12:55:53 PM] Cricky: i gotta get back to work now.
[5/28/2013 12:56:19 PM] Cricky: ill msg you still on skype. theres some stuff i still want to know
[5/28/2013 12:56:49 PM] Jillian: i really am sorry =(
[5/28/2013 12:56:59 PM] Jillian: i was going to delete this
[5/28/2013 12:57:05 PM] Cricky: skype?
[5/28/2013 12:57:20 PM] Jillian: yea =/
[5/28/2013 12:57:26 PM] Cricky: dont.
[5/28/2013 12:57:35 PM] Cricky: well what about all your online friends?
[5/28/2013 12:57:48 PM] Jillian: iv been lying to everyone chirt
[5/28/2013 12:57:59 PM] Jillian: im kinda of a fuck up person i know how werid that is
[5/28/2013 12:58:01 PM] Jillian: i get it
[5/28/2013 12:58:18 PM] Jillian: it was a pattern i never wanted to get into i just met people i liekd and never wanted to lose the friend ship
[5/28/2013 12:58:23 PM] Jillian: then i actually fell for a guy
[5/28/2013 12:58:36 PM] Cricky: so the feelings for me.
[5/28/2013 12:58:39 PM] Cricky: were they real?
[5/28/2013 12:58:43 PM] Cricky: or thats a joke too?
[5/28/2013 12:58:44 PM] Jillian: they are real
[5/28/2013 12:58:46 PM] Jillian: no ...
[5/28/2013 12:58:48 PM] Jillian: but
[5/28/2013 12:58:50 PM] Jillian: you dont get it
[5/28/2013 12:58:53 PM] Jillian: i dont get guys like u
[5/28/2013 12:59:02 PM] Cricky: guys like me?
[5/28/2013 12:59:09 PM] Jillian: good looking funny athletic
[5/28/2013 12:59:21 PM] Cricky: none of that is me
[5/28/2013 12:59:25 PM] Jillian: chirt
[5/28/2013 12:59:27 PM] Jillian: what do i have to gain
[5/28/2013 12:59:32 PM] Jillian: from lying to you now?
[5/28/2013 12:59:40 PM] Cricky: i dont know
[5/28/2013 12:59:46 PM] Cricky: i seriously dont know anymore
[5/28/2013 12:59:58 PM] Jillian: im sorry =( i really am
[5/28/2013 1:00:28 PM] Cricky: so question. since im creeping thru pages here.
[5/28/2013 1:00:32 PM] Cricky: is your sister in law name holly?
[5/28/2013 1:00:39 PM] Jillian: no
[5/28/2013 1:00:51 PM] Jillian: like i said i took 2 lives of people i knew
[5/28/2013 1:01:04 PM] Jillian: makes it easy to keep the story str8

[Cricky712]

And that whole paragraphs (sorry for spamming) was before i found out that he was a Guy. theres more. ill post it up if anyone wants to read.