Up until this year, my SO had a job that was based out of the US but required him to work in other countries. He still could come home at least once a month and got a yearly 4 month break to come home.
Due to personnel changes, he has had to look for the same line of work elsewhere, and the new employment will require him to LIVE in another country...permanently... no regular breaks...
I'm going to attempt to dismiss the fact that the countries of choice are overflowing with exotically beautiful women, but this creates a HUGE challenge. He only mentioned this today (yet another topic to add to the list once he gets home), but he has way more of a "work-it-out" mentality than me. As much as the "head-in-the-clouds" side of me swoons at the prospect of jet-setting to see him on some exotic beach every couple of weeks, that's just not realistic. I HAVE A FULL TIME JOB AND LIMITED VACATION!!! It just seems like that would get old a little quickly. And again, what's to say that it's just not easier for him to indulge the LOCAL exotic beauties in his new back yard?
So... I'm fighting with HUGE insecurity (I can't hold a candle to those women) and the prospect of falling into doing all of the giving and sacraficing as I always do. I recently left a job that required a lot of travel and it can be exhausting. Not to mention the fact that I would have to work around his job schedule when I arrived... no thanks...
So, right now, I'm trying to first, just calm down and wait until the dust settles, but I have a major decision on my hands. As much as I really adore this man, at this early stage in our relationship, I'm not sure if we have the "stuff" it takes for this type of relationship. Part of me thinks its best to cut and run before we get any more involved in each other, but my heart doesn't want to be without him..
(Sigh) I seriously think everything good in my life for some reason inevitably ends up being just a bit past arm's reach... Wow... what a day...
Due to personnel changes, he has had to look for the same line of work elsewhere, and the new employment will require him to LIVE in another country...permanently... no regular breaks...
I'm going to attempt to dismiss the fact that the countries of choice are overflowing with exotically beautiful women, but this creates a HUGE challenge. He only mentioned this today (yet another topic to add to the list once he gets home), but he has way more of a "work-it-out" mentality than me. As much as the "head-in-the-clouds" side of me swoons at the prospect of jet-setting to see him on some exotic beach every couple of weeks, that's just not realistic. I HAVE A FULL TIME JOB AND LIMITED VACATION!!! It just seems like that would get old a little quickly. And again, what's to say that it's just not easier for him to indulge the LOCAL exotic beauties in his new back yard?
So... I'm fighting with HUGE insecurity (I can't hold a candle to those women) and the prospect of falling into doing all of the giving and sacraficing as I always do. I recently left a job that required a lot of travel and it can be exhausting. Not to mention the fact that I would have to work around his job schedule when I arrived... no thanks...
So, right now, I'm trying to first, just calm down and wait until the dust settles, but I have a major decision on my hands. As much as I really adore this man, at this early stage in our relationship, I'm not sure if we have the "stuff" it takes for this type of relationship. Part of me thinks its best to cut and run before we get any more involved in each other, but my heart doesn't want to be without him..
(Sigh) I seriously think everything good in my life for some reason inevitably ends up being just a bit past arm's reach... Wow... what a day...
Yep, it sucks, but it's perfectly doable, many of us on this site have this type of situation. We survive with seeing our SO's a few times a year, and you do get used to it. It takes a very strong, independent type of person to handle it though, not everyone can. You won't know if that's you until you try, so you need to ask yourself if this guy is worth that kind of sacrifice, because someone could get hurt in the end. If he is worth it, then why not give it your best shot? As you can see, your situation isn't unusual or weird, and people make it work every day, and it can even come with its own benefits. But, it's up to you. Think about it, read posts from others around here, get some ideas, and then see what you think. Good luck.
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