What made you fall in love?

[Phantomrose]

Looking back, I believe I fell in love with him because we had so much in common, and we just clicked together so well. Also, there was just a feeling that he was the one. After he sent me a letter, putting his feelings up front... I believe I knew that I wanted to be with him, that I wanted to make this LDR work. I feel that we are just so right for one another. I am sure he would say pretty much the same thing, lol.

[80anthea]

We just started as friends who had a lot in common, tge feelings grew from there.

[sarahjane1992]

We didn't fall in love. We made the decision to love each other. And will be making that decision every day for the rest of our lives. And right now, that's pretty darn great. Ask me again tomorrow, and who knows how I'll feel. I may not always like him, but I will always make the decision to love him.

I love this. My SO and I fell in love, hard and pretty fast. Now that the honeymoon stage is over, we have made the decision to stick by each other. We're committed to each other, good and bad. He's the only person I can see myself loving for the rest of my life. <3 I'm sure sometimes I might not like him, but I will always love him. And he will do the same for me. <3

[lyonsgirl]

I love this. My SO and I fell in love, hard and pretty fast. Now that the honeymoon stage is over, we have made the decision to stick by each other. We're committed to each other, good and bad. He's the only person I can see myself loving for the rest of my life. <3 I'm sure sometimes I might not like him, but I will always love him. And he will do the same for me. <3

We are still in "the honeymoon phase", but from the beginning it has been a decision. Love is, IMO, not a feeling. It is a decision. I say this because if love is a feeling, it is extremely easy to "fall out of love" with someone. I know, I kind of suck all of the romance out of it when I say it's a decision and not a feeling. Lust is a feeling, lust comes and goes. Love is forever. (But hey, that's MO.)

[snow]

I fell in love with him, because he was so different than all the other guys around me. I was with my ex at the time and my ex was so unbelievably controlling. He on the other hand was nice, very gentlemanlike and was very interested in being my friend before anything else.

[Tommy C]

I can't explain completely, all I know is we just clicked. We just clicked on a level that I have never clicked with anyone before. Neither of us were looking for someone but when we talked anything she said was perfect. I didn't even realize I was in love with her until someone asked her to join a different gaming group and I realized I couldn't bear to see her leave me ... and when I look back at old chat logs I realize I fell in love with her from almost the first time we talked ... and I still am six years later.

[silvermoonfairy3]

We are still in "the honeymoon phase", but from the beginning it has been a decision. Love is, IMO, not a feeling. It is a decision. I say this because if love is a feeling, it is extremely easy to "fall out of love" with someone. I know, I kind of suck all of the romance out of it when I say it's a decision and not a feeling. Lust is a feeling, lust comes and goes. Love is forever. (But hey, that's MO.)

I kinda get what you mean, but I don't think it's *just* a decision, or people would choose it more often with people they care about and want things to work. For me, I think love is a feeling, and being dedicated to cultivating that love is the decision part.

[alittlemind]

In my opinion falling in love just kind of happens. I guess it could be a conscious decision, in some ways. My SO admits he fell in love with me within the first 2 months of dating, but it took me from December to May to really realize I had fallen in love with him. When I say how big his heart was, and how much effort he put into to make sure I was happy, that's when I truly let him in, and fell in love. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life trying to make him as happy as he's made me, and to try, in some way, to show him how thankful I am to have him in my life.

Also, I think one more thing that was really important was that he was happy to go at a pace that I was comfortable with, and that meant the world to me.

[Deleted]

Pokémon. Not kidding here.

And the fact that he was foreign. I love foreigners.

Any other geeks out here?

[mellif]

We are still in "the honeymoon phase", but from the beginning it has been a decision. Love is, IMO, not a feeling. It is a decision. I say this because if love is a feeling, it is extremely easy to "fall out of love" with someone. I know, I kind of suck all of the romance out of it when I say it's a decision and not a feeling. Lust is a feeling, lust comes and goes. Love is forever. (But hey, that's MO.)

What about cases where you decide that you don't want to love them, but can't help but to love them anyway? When I first met my SO, I was so drawn to him, that even though I wanted to run from a LDR relationship and told myself "stop liking him, it won't work", I still loved him-- I had dreams about us, cared about all the details of his life. Our conversations captivated me even when i attempted to distance myself. We'd always understand each other on a deeper level.

Not to be confused for a judgemental question! I'm genuinely curious about your perspective since its the first I've heard someone word it like that. I'm interested in what you think

[lyonsgirl]

What about cases where you decide that you don't want to love them, but can't help but to love them anyway? When I first met my SO, I was so drawn to him, that even though I wanted to run from a LDR relationship and told myself "stop liking him, it won't work", I still loved him-- I had dreams about us, cared about all the details of his life. Our conversations captivated me even when i attempted to distance myself. We'd always understand each other on a deeper level.

Not to be confused for a judgemental question! I'm genuinely curious about your perspective since its the first I've heard someone word it like that. I'm interested in what you think

I start with this, because I'm concerned that my words could be turned into something they aren't: I'm not saying this to downplay your relationship - your relationship is just as real as anyone else's on here - and please, I hope no one thinks that I think I'm "better than you" - it's just how I look at this word that is "love".

I wouldn't call that love. I'd call that attraction. Yes, there's a difference. Attraction and lust are very similar in my eyes. They can come and go, they are emotions we may not be able to "control". Love, however, the everlasting kind, is a decision. Sure, you can say "I'm not going to love them" but still be very much attracted to a person. But, like I said, that's not love. That "pull" isn't love - it's lust. The butterflies may be a very good sign you're attracted to him/her (and don't get me wrong, I totally had the butterflies, and still get them, about my SO!), but the butterflies aren't what will keep you together. That attraction you mentioned, the "I don't want to like that person but do anyway", that is a good foundation for a friendship, and for a relationship. But, unfortunately, I don't think that it should be the "glue", so to speak, of your relationship. Love, or rather, the decision to love each other every single day, should be. (Trust, communication, yaddah-yaddah-yaddah, all come with the decision to love one another.) Hopefully that made sense.

[OperaDiva]

Hmm,

Love, however, the everlasting kind, is a decision.

I think I wouldn't call this love, but commitment. I am not disputing your feelings or your interpretation, but love and commitment are to me two different, albeit necessary, ingredients to a relationship. Commitment is a decision, and a vital one. And love to me is more than a decision, it is a surreal sense of calm, a feeling that my soul is not alone in the universe anymore. It is not something I planned for.

[Tommy C]

And love to me is more than a decision, it is a surreal sense of calm, a feeling that my soul is not alone in the universe anymore. It is not something I planned for.

I couldn't agree with this more. I also think there is a difference between being "in love" and "loving" someone. You "love" family like your parent, kids and maybe close friends. But your not "in love" with them. Being "in love" is the unexplainable, unplanned feeling that you have for someone no matter what or how illogical it is.

[bethyylovee]

I fell in love with Stephen the moment he told me he loved me. Sounds cheesy, but it really did happen that way. I fell HARD and never looked back. Best decision of my life!

[bethyylovee]

I wouldn't call that love. I'd call that attraction. Yes, there's a difference. Attraction and lust are very similar in my eyes. They can come and go, they are emotions we may not be able to "control". Love, however, the everlasting kind, is a decision. Sure, you can say "I'm not going to love them" but still be very much attracted to a person. But, like I said, that's not love. That "pull" isn't love - it's lust.

I actually agree with this a lot. I love Stephen because there is just something so amazing about making him happy, watching him grow as a person, being his crutch when he missteps, and helping him achieve the things that are best for him that makes me feel so completely attached to him. It's a necessity of my own, personal well-being. Making him happy and being his companion makes me a happier person. I don't love to make myself happy, I love to make him happy. And he returns that 110%. I decide put him before my own needs, as he does with me, so we both come in first.

I hope THAT made sense...hahaha