waiting

[angeldi]

Thanks I will mention again the assisted living homes. Personally i kinda think his mother is trying to keep him there. I think she is stronger than she puts on. But he has to step up and make a decision. Its very hard, and I understand that he feels torn. Me strong? Its just love. I cant explain it. lol I can not see myself with any other man, I would wait for him forever. And if that day never comes, I can at least say my heart finally had love and I can die happy knowing that. But that wont happen because our day will come.

As far as his sister yea she is a realy uncaring selfish person. Only wants for herself. Wants the house and money. Thankyou all for the advice I will talk to him about assisted living. I just really miss him so very much =( 7 years LDR !! is that crazy or what???

[dragonlady]

it is though but he has to put his foot down with his mom.. if he doesnt you will have this until she dies..
sorry blunt and straight forward!
i do feel for you! good luck!!

[angeldi]

Thanks.. No its ok I can handle it. Her dr already told her she needs to think about living in a home for herself and her sons sake. I want to talk to him when I see him, not over the phone or online. My BF says he cant take it anymore he wants his life back. He has been doing this for 4 years now with her, last two years she got worse. Went thru triple bipass, has emphysema, cant walk far, is on oxygen, cant really do much of anything herself. Anyway. I have 4 kids. ages, 22,18,14,16 One moved to SC. And I cant bring myself to move my 16 yr old he will be a junior next year. Kids already went thru a divroce and a Dad who doesnt keep in touch or see them. Its just a hard situation. Do I move and start kids with a new school when they are already in HS? Or do we wait to be together once he gets his mom straightened out? So confused. All I know is I need to see him , because now its getting very hard

[Jade_Crystal]

Why can't you visit him and his mom? Also, I know its hard for him but he might want to consider hiring a caregiver for his mom so he doesn't have to stop living his life because she's ill

This is the best practical advice indeed, really. His mother is important to him, parents generally are. But his life partner should be even more important, considering you're the woman he is going to be with until the moment he passes away himself, and he should be considerate towards you having to take care of children and the house, not being alone most of the time.

However your situation does indeed sound pretty complicated... and difficult to understand for most, but two people work within a relationship sometimes with the ammo called compromise and only you two know best, through communication, what is in the best interest for yourselves and not just for one of you...

[Black_Halloween]

I understand what you're going through, I really do. My mom works hard to take care of my grandmother (who lives in the same apartment complex as us). But she has a bad back and can't do everything! So, they hired a cleaning lady and a caregiver for her and it really did take a load off of her. She had to put her foot down but it got done and that's what your SO needs to do now. Put his foot down. Have that hard talk with his mom. Tell her that he loves her but he can't do it anymore.

[angeldi]

thank you all so very much =)