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He's being cute and frustrating!

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    He's being cute and frustrating!

    Its more than likely pre visit nerves with only 33 more days to go but GAH! Sometimes I just want to strangle him. Its like he's acting like one of those sour patch kid commercials where its "sour" then its "sweet" and its driving me up the @!$%* wall (and i'm the one on her period! )!!

    A bit of background, right after high school I got into a FWB situation and got my heart crushed and I ended up severely depressed. I was used in every single way a person could be and it damaged me a lot. I met Dan years later when I was trying to recover and he put a lot of work into making sure that I was okay every night. He listened to every single dirty and disgusting detail, which most boyfriends wouldn't even want to know.

    Anyway, fast forward to now: He made me better, he gained my total trust but of course I was still scared of getting hurt but with every road bump he proves me wrong. Ever since our first visit my exfwb hasn't even crossed my mind but he keeps bringing him up. Nothing too serious but its little things like "Yeah like your ex did" or something similar. Its getting on my damn nerves! I hope he doesn't feel insecure

    Like I said though he has been really sweet too...telling me he can't wait until I visit him, how he cant wait for me to meet his friends and that his family might be driving up to meet me while im there. I love him to death but I wish he'd forget my ex like i'm starting to.
    Made it official: 12-01-10
    First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
    Closed the distance: 07-31-13

    #2
    maybe try saying that to him? He's probably thinking he's being caring and sensitive by acknowledging your past feelings towards your ex. Maybe he doesn't know you'd rather just not mention him.

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      #3
      Speaking so much about your ex certainly showed him he played a big role in your life, and through sharing what you have shared with no one else (?) I suggest he became a part of his life also, consciously or subconsciously. Maybe he isn't even noticing that he is bringing him up Just address it to him calmly, and ask if there is a specific reason for those remarks. Being so close with eachother, I am sure he wouldn't lie to you about it. If he is feeling insecure/jealous you just have to continue telling and proving him how much you love him, until he gets over it ^^ Good luck!

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        #4
        Yeh, I'd ask him to please not refer to the ex anymore -- that it just brings up bad memories that you are trying to forget. That way, you're putting the issue on YOU rather than HIM.
        February 2012 -- met online
        August 2012 -- he said "I love you."
        April 2013 -- met in person
        June 2013 -- broke up
        July 2013 -- back together
        August 2013 -- 2nd visit
        October 20, 2013 -- He proposed!
        April 22, 2014 -- Married/closed the distance!

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          #5
          My boyfriend would do the same. He was friends with my ex before and he's always seen both sides of the story, and he's always believed my ex didn't treat me right. So I would say something like "I'm so thankful that you're willing to cook for me" and he'll answer "nothing like [your ex], huh?" which wasn't at all where I was going with that thought. I agree with the others that he probably isn't even aware he's doing it. I love Benni's suggestion
          So, here you are
          too foreign for home
          too foreign for here.
          Never enough for both.

          Ijeoma Umebinyuo, Diaspora Blues

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            #6
            I love all of your suggestions I'll bring it up to him when he gets home later.

            Ej- That's exactly what he does!! You explained it better than I did Haha
            Made it official: 12-01-10
            First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
            Closed the distance: 07-31-13

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