It's all on my shoulders, can't handle it

[ushiwakafox]

My SO is very similar, sometimes he'll really delve into conversation with me and those are really great days, but he's just naturally passive. He's just perfectly content with listening to me talk, and through the years I have become a very chatty person because of it lol. He's also learned to be a little more verbal and initiate conversation, but to this day I still have to ask very detailed questions for him to give me answers that satisfy me.
I would say just try to be patient with him, from what it sounds he doesn't mean to upset you it's just how he is. I understand your frustration.

[leonsfangirl]

d.
I've had meaningful conversations with people I've PMed for 3 days, so I strongly disagree that 2 months in a relationship built off a friendship of longer isn't enough.

I did say, "In my opinion" by no means am I the norm. I was very open with my SO from the start and we had alot of deep and meaningful conversation in the first few weeks of knowing each other and honest if thats the only thing you corrected in my post then am i right with the rest of it?
In your Post you didnt (if im wrong i apologuise) that you'd been friends with this guy prior. But you didnt say that this behaviour was new, so im guessing he has been this way during both Friendship and Relationship.
So why is it becoming a problem now? Has he changed? Have you spoken to him about it?

[digitalfever]

Your dating a guy with deep seeded anxiety issues that clearly affect his social life and as a result his interpersonal relationships. I feel bad for him because its clear that he's trying in his own way and it doesn't appear to be good enough. Which is fine but I think you should acknowledge that he is trying.

You said he can't "handle" voice calls. I'd say that this is a clear sign as too how much he is giving you for even communicating with you. He clearly has a problem with anxiety and needs coaching through that.

I know you need deep conversation and that's something we all want BUT I do think he's trying in his own way. He's finding authors and articles that you like
to build a conversation. He cares. He's trying to connect with you in his own way and I think on some level you need to recognise this. Maybe dig deep by asking him to give his opinion or bring up a huge theme in the book and get his opinion on it.

He's obviously capable BUT may need your encouragement. I don't think the length of your relationship means anything when dealing with anxiety especially when that anxiety has little to do with the relationship and everything to do with the sufferer.

He sounds like he is trying and that you want more. What if he can't give more?

[Pinion]

Your dating a guy with deep seeded anxiety issues that clearly affect his social life and as a result his interpersonal relationships. I feel bad for him because its clear that he's trying in his own way and it doesn't appear to be good enough. Which is fine but I think you should acknowledge that he is trying.

You said he can't "handle" voice calls. I'd say that this is a clear sign as too how much he is giving you for even communicating with you. He clearly has a problem with anxiety and needs coaching through that.

I know you need deep conversation and that's something we all want BUT I do think he's trying in his own way. He's finding authors and articles that you like
to build a conversation. He cares. He's trying to connect with you in his own way and I think on some level you need to recognise this. Maybe dig deep by asking him to give his opinion or bring up a huge theme in the book and get his opinion on it.

He's obviously capable BUT may need your encouragement. I don't think the length of your relationship means anything when dealing with anxiety especially when that anxiety has little to do with the relationship and everything to do with the sufferer.

He sounds like he is trying and that you want more. What if he can't give more?

Maybe you're right. I'm not his doctor, though, and zero reciprocity isn't fair or a healthy foundation for a relationship. I'll see how things go tonight as far as what he's been trying to do.

If he can't give more eventually, it has to end. I'd be happy with visible progress in this area. I just don't want to end up like my parents: considering the neighbor's visitors the most interesting business of the day and desperately lonely despite being married.

[digitalfever]

Maybe you're right. I'm not his doctor, though, and zero reciprocity isn't fair or a healthy foundation for a relationship. I'll see how things go tonight as far as what he's been trying to do.

If he can't give more eventually, it has to end. I'd be happy with visible progress in this area. I just don't want to end up like my parents: considering the neighbor's visitors the most interesting business of the day and desperately lonely despite being married.

I would never ask or expect anyone to go all MD on their spouse.

I would however suggest understanding his POV. You care about him and therefore I would recommend pulling back and trying to be more understanding.