How much is too much?

[Rugger]

I was thinking the exact same thing. From my understanding OP your “SO” was never actually your “SO” and more of an unofficial partner that you felt a connection with. Therefore, she’s more than welcome to explore similar connections with other men including her ex.

Exactly. Unless you agreed to make your relationship exclusive, she's able to have sex with other guys, and it's not cheating. If that's the case, by all means be upset, but it's not her fault. If you want her to be with only you, make it exclusive.

[Ms.Justine]

Forgive me, I only briefly scanned over some of the responses and they all seem to hit the nail bang on the head. So my apologies if I am repeating anything.

First and foremost, did I miss that you two were actually exclusive to one another? Upon reading your post, it never actually states that you and her actually were exclusive to one another. With that being said she is free to do whatever she wants, and her seeing multiple men is not as issue. It is an issue to you because you and only you are the person who felt or accepted any sort of monogamous commitment to this girl.

Secondly, this may seem brash but just by reading this post and getting some snippets of information here and there I will make an educated guess and say that you and this girl are both young. This also strikes up a few questions, and observations. Honestly, if you are only working part-time and saving all this money to go see a girl that is not truly faithful to you. You need to stop, give your head a shake, and realize this is not okay. There are so many other things you could be spending your hard earned money on. I understand this girl makes you happy, and that you are "in love" but honestly it takes two. Once you understand the true benefits of being with a person who unconditionally loves you just as much (if not more) - you'll understand where we're all coming from. I get the feeling this is probably the first girl or one of the first girls you have ever fallen for - and experienced things with. This post screams "my first love, and I can't get over them no matter how hard I try!" Believe me, there is a better girl out there who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated, and love you just as fiercely as you love her.

So my questions to you guys:
- How much is too much? Should we have given up already? or should we keep fighting and do everything we can to make things better?
- What steps can we take to strengthen our bond, ease the feelings of loneliness and hopelessness, and give us something promising to work towards?
- Is it irrational to endure being cheated on and still love your SO and move beyond mistakes?

These questions are all filled with we, us, our and unfortunately this is all about YOU! She does not see this relationship as exclusive hence she wouldn't have another guy that she is seeing. Therefore I will change all of my answers to be directed to you!

- Too much is too much, if you haven't even been dating someone and they show disinterest from the start. Move on, its not worth your pain, anxieties and insecurities. Seriously how old are you??? It's not worth it!
- What steps should you take, physically any steps that lead you away from your computer/cellphone and outside. Perhaps towards your friends place, or a movie theatre or a local mall. Meet a new girl. Any steps that will take you towards a new girl. That is something promising.
- It is when you were never truly exclusive with one another. Period. It'd be different if you were in a relationship.