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Dealing when they're gone

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    Dealing when they're gone

    Hey,
    I'm new to the website and new to LDRs. I'm in my first one and it's been about 3 months. We get to see each other every couple weeks and for the day or two that we see each other it's great but when they leave it's miserable. Since this is a problem I'm guessing everyone on here has I was wondering if you all had tips on how to deal with the time that they're gone.

    #2
    Keep yourself busy. That's what most people would recommend. If you go to school or work you have your distraction right there. Otherwise you could pick up a hobby. It might seem hard at first - doing things alone, without your partner - but it might help. Also keep in contact with your SO of course. Through email, phone calls or even webcam.

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      #3
      Im having the same issue, my life always revolved around my SO since I don't have a family and I can't really be around my friends, due to the fact that I'm trying to stay sober. I just got a job and it's going to be 7 days a week only a few hours a night so I'm hoping to kick ass in that and work my butt off to be able to afford seeing my GF, I also started a part time side job where I write for students. Find something you're good at and do something with it. Distracts you and then you'll have some other goals and you'll have stuff to talk about w/ your SO
      Met: 1.20.09 (At School)
      Starting Dating: 5.22.09
      Been an LDR since: 8.17.10 (3 hours distance)
      Last Time I saw my SO: 10.02.10
      Next time I will see my SO: 10.14.10

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        #4
        School and work are generally a good way to keep busy as it gives you goals to reach, you're working hard, and your brain is focused elsewhere. Taking up hobbies or renewing interest in old ones is good as well. The good thing about LDRs is you can retain a sense of independency and do what you like while still scheduling it all around the time you guys have to talk on the phone/skype/IM whenever you're both free. The point is to keep yourself active and happy so that when you feel sad and miss them, you don't fall into a pit of despair because x is hard and y is stressing you out, z is a chore, etc.

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          #5
          Aside from hobbies, and work, another thing I like to do is to keep a journal.

          For a while my girlfriend was in the army, so our time together was even more limited than usual. One thing that helped me a lot when I missed her big time was writing a journal for her. There are ton of little things in my day to day life that I'd want to tell her anyway, so I just write it all down, and when it's full I send it to her. Definitely something that helps me out when I miss her a lot.

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            #6
            Pretty much what everyone else has said, keep busy and think about all the fun things you did when your SO was there with you and try not to focus on all the bad stuff.
            Remember that you have someone that is willing to wait for you and that is special and instead of focusing on the negative stuff just know that you have found love and that is something that you shouldn't be sad about, right? =)
            Also if you keep busy or just try and do stuff that will also help your conversations so that you can always tell your SO what you did that day or learned.

            EDIT::
            I agree with casper about the journal. That is definitely something that can really help your mood, to write everything down and then send it so your SO can know you a little better.

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              #7
              I agree with the keeping yourself busy.
              That's why I'm looking forward to going to university next month, since then I'll be busy with studies and then I hope time will pass a lot faster, than it does in the moment. Where I'm doing nothing everyday.

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                #8
                Oh yeah, for sure keeping yourself busy right now im going through a bit of withdrawl... on account of it's 3 days until it's been a month since i saw my SO and i honestly cant wait for school to start either so i'll keep myself busy with university and such. But its okay to have those kinda days im having one right now.

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                  #9
                  It's always hard when my SO leaves. But whenever I feel lonely I keep myself busy, like, going shopping, hanging out with friends and family, and working out.

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                    #10
                    when i miss him i like to keep myself busy by writing him a letter or working in a scrapbook of what we've done together. i find that it reminds me of the fun times we had, and i always feel better and cheerful after.

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                      #11
                      I'm going with the majority and saying that keeping yourself busy is the best way.
                      Also, I don't know if this has been suggested yet, but maybe if you guys have the ability, you could set a 'date night.' It could just be the same day/night every week where you and your SO could watch a movie together over the phone, Talk to each other over Skype, play a video game together, whatever you have the ability to do. =]

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