Love Style Rankings

[Malaga]

We love to try out new apps for iPhone and one of them we're currently checking out is called Kahnoodle. It seems a fun little app for couples, except I think it requires more commitment than we're ready to give it. But go check it out, it might be just your thing.

Anyway, as you and your SO sign up for it, you're required to rank love styles, from what is most important to you to what is least important. You're also asked to guess what's your SO's top love style. Then you can see each other's lists and compare. It was an interesting experiment for us and it gave us some food for thought. We also both guessed what's on top of our respective lists.

Mine was:
1. Quality Time
2. Thoughtful Acts
3. Sexual Intimacy
4. Affectionate Touch
5. Verbal Praise
6. Gifts
7. Spontaneity

And this was his:
1. Affectionate Touch
2. Thoughtful Acts
3. Spontaneity
4. Quality Time
5. Gifts
6. Verbal Praise
7. Sexual Intimacy


If you had to rank these styles for both you and your SO (or just yourself if you're single), how do you think the lists would look like?

[kattermole]

For me, probably the same as yours, actually! I suppose gifts and spontaneity are interchangeable. For him, probably similar, def sexual intimacy high up like me and gifts low down.

[Malaga]

For me, probably the same as yours, actually! I suppose gifts and spontaneity are interchangeable. For him, probably similar, def sexual intimacy high up like me and gifts low down.

Interesting. It's great you're so compatible, it certainly makes things easier! What I've realised is that in some ways we fit the other person's preferences even though it's not our own preference. For example, I have spontaneity at the bottom, he has it fairly high up. But even though I don't rate it as much as other styles, he claims it's one of my defining traits. (I'm not sure about that, but it's all relative.) Similarly, he's not very spontaneous at all.

[temporaryuser]

What other apps have you looked at? Things like this are good for us with SO's busy schedule of work and school sometimes we have little time to actually talk

[Malaga]

What other apps have you looked at? Things like this are good for us with SO's busy schedule of work and school sometimes we have little time to actually talk

There's also 2Life which offers some activities for couples. We've not had the chance to try it yet, it's on the list next. It looks pretty comprehensive though so could be worth a try if you're looking for more than a messaging app.

The others we've tried are mostly messaging apps -WhatsApp (still the best), Viber (reliable), Couple (too slow and buggy), Avocado (network crashes). All of them have some cute features, like sketching, sending virtual hugs etc. They're all iPhone apps, some have Android and web browser versions.

[dizzyupthemeg]

Mine would be the exact same as yours, although I would probably rank spontaneity above gifts. I'm really really curious what my SO would say now though. I just emailed this to him, so hopefully it doesn't take him long to reply.

[srtd35]

Mine would be:

1. Affectionate Touch
2. Sexual Intimacy
3. Quality Time
4. Thoughtful Acts
5. Verbal Praise
6. Gifts
7. Spontaneity

[srtd35]

We love to try out new apps for iPhone and one of them we're currently checking out is called Kahnoodle. It seems a fun little app for couples, except I think it requires more commitment than we're ready to give it. But go check it out, it might be just your thing.

Anyway, as you and your SO sign up for it, you're required to rank love styles, from what is most important to you to what is least important. You're also asked to guess what's your SO's top love style. Then you can see each other's lists and compare. It was an interesting experiment for us and it gave us some food for thought. We also both guessed what's on top of our respective lists.

Mine was:
1. Quality Time
2. Thoughtful Acts
3. Sexual Intimacy
4. Affectionate Touch
5. Verbal Praise
6. Gifts
7. Spontaneity

And this was his:
1. Affectionate Touch
2. Thoughtful Acts
3. Spontaneity
4. Quality Time
5. Gifts
6. Verbal Praise
7. Sexual Intimacy


If you had to rank these styles for both you and your SO (or just yourself if you're single), how do you think the lists would look like?

It is interesting to me that as a guy he would rate sexual intimacy last.

[SeeRat]

Mine would be

1. Quality Time
2. Thoughtful Acts
3. Affectionate Touch
4. Verbal Praise
5. Sexual Intimacy
6. Gifts
7. Spontaneity

[dglynn77]

I downloaded this and tried to rank mine and I couldn't...
I need to figure out what my love languages are.

[hmrambling]

for those of you who don't have iphones, try this: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

The "rankings" are coming from The 5 Love Languages. It was a book that was written to better help couples communicate and understand each other.

I ranked highest in quality time....

Quality Time

In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.

My partner ranked highest in words of affirmation...

Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.

[TwoThree]

Thanks for the link, hmrambling! I don't do smart phones :P

I think I've done this test before, but not with my SO.

Anyway, I got:

1. Quality Time & Physical Touch
3. Words of Affirmation
4. Receiving Gifts
5. Acts of Service

Him:

1. Physical Touch
2. Quality Time
3. Words of Affirmation
4. Acts of Service
5. Receiving Gifts

[Malaga]

It is interesting to me that as a guy he would rate sexual intimacy last.

I know it's unusual and I won't lie, I'm still struggling to fully accept it - it goes against what I've been taught all my life. You know, that guys are obsessed with sex, it's their preferred way of expressing intimacy, they're red-blooded males and visual creatures etc. He enjoys sex and it's great when we're together, but it's somehow just not that important to him. It sounds mature I guess except it's frustrating when he's able to just shut down his sexual needs while I'm away - and I can't do the same.

[srtd35]

I know it's unusual and I won't lie, I'm still struggling to fully accept it - it goes against what I've been taught all my life. You know, that guys are obsessed with sex, it's their preferred way of expressing intimacy, they're red-blooded males and visual creatures etc. He enjoys sex and it's great when we're together, but it's somehow just not that important to him. It sounds mature I guess except it's frustrating when he's able to just shut down his sexual needs while I'm away - and I can't do the same.

I totally understand. I think my bf listed it as number 4. He loves having sex don't get me wrong but he isn't as needy about it as I am! LOL I think it might be normal and men get older their desire of course while still there isn't as high but I guess it is true as women ours picks up in the 30's I was just surprised he listed it last. I like you have a very hard time missing the sexual intamacy when he hs is gone and the just the physical touch and kissing.

[aniay]

1Thoughtful Acts
2Quality Time
3Affectionate Touch
4Verbal Praise
5Spontaneity
6Sexual Intimacy
7Gifts