How Many Arguments do you have a Month?

[ams.201220]

Fine. I'll be the odd one out here. We fight. Quite a lot if I compare us to you guys here. We had a major fight last night. We had another bigger fight on saturday. But i think this is also because we're very stressed with other things, he is very busy , I am very not-busy haha.. and we're re-adjusting to being LD.
We fought a lot less in person.. especially in the last month. We had reached quite a good place and learned how to navigate eachother. I think being LD makes us both more sensitive and frustrated which probably contributes to the fights.
I am confident in our relationship, but i think we need to figure out how to be better at not-fighting, or maybe change some things, because it does take a lot out of us.

Thank you so much for a different perspective We had to go through the same thing. Eventually we both learned to compromise and understand more, which definitely helped.

[Jess!]

Hum.. we don't fight. When we are under stress sometimes we say things we regret or maybe say something in an angry tone, but then admit it was wrong and apologize. We never had a big fight so far...

Fighting all the time doesn't seem healthy and kinda destructive in the long term... what's the point?! But also never arguing is not healthy as well, someone's needs are being forgotten.

Fighting fair is the key I would say :P
I guess we, couples, just have to find a balance between all that...

[Ahava]

Zero. We haven't had an argument so far. I have had one or two small crisis, but we haven't argued. He's so relaxed I don't think it's possible to get into a fight with him And I am normally the same. Or I could sulk if I was hurt/offended. But the thing is he would never say anything to hurt me. It would have to be a misunderstanding, or me feeling down and taking something that was meant to be a joke the wrong way.
I guess I must be all argued out with my ex LOL :P

[aniay]

We didn't fight since we met. We have one ongoing disagreement about rinsing dishes that we 'agree to disagree' on though.

I try not to get angry if he says something that hurts me but calmly explain that it hurt and would he please not do it again. And I don't remember him ever getting upset about something I've done.

If we argue it's usually in calm conversation.

If we get angry (usually at outside source) we try to give each-other as much space/gentle words/understanding as we can. If one of us doesn't know what the other needs, we ask.

[dglynn77]

We fight.
Probably at least once every two weeks.
I love the fact that we can both say what we're thinking, get it out there, resolve it, and move on stronger than ever.
I've been in relationships where we didn't argue, and I hated it.
I come from a family of arguers/discussers(), and if you can't talk things out, how can you resolve anything?

I also feel a lot closer after we argue and get things back to normal.

[katkoota]

We talk alot and both have our opinions, mostly they are +/- alike and somethimes they are not.
He's a person who stays very calmly, and when he feels it will get to heated, he ask if he can get some time alone.
He doesn't like getting to mad.. I am a bit more direct, and need to have things of my chest.

But it doesnt take much time... after +/- 30-60 minutes. We would come back,
and say sorry if needed but mostly it just about understanding eachothers views on things.
We had 2 very big arguments after the first few months i knew him. Where it took a bit longer.
Now it are little things, and it depends: sometimes there is months going by without anything going on,
and there is times we have 3 or 4 arguments on very short period of time.

[barret95]

When we're visiting each other, we talk about the issues, it can get to the point when someone is calling each other names (playful names though).
I spent 2 weeks with my SO in July, I wanted to talk about our issues and resolve them, and the response I get is "Okay, sorry" . she's kinda relaxed i guess.
In LD though, since I got back from Holiday with her, we've been arguing everyday, then 3 or 4 days of pure love. then its back to arguing, we (I) have too many unresolved issues in the relationship where my SO says she'll consider my feelings next time and when the time comes it's the same.
So we argue like (starting from 1st August) 3-4times a week.
Before August it was maybe 3 times a month. Every argument we get put in, I'm always the one who storms out of the conversation to calm down, don't wanna say things I regret considering this is my first relationship, I think we're kinda heading towards the bad path really.

I do agree with a few people though, arguing is healthy right!?

[LadyDaemon]

That's another really good point. Sometimes I feel like we suffocate each other so much that we just need time to ourselves. But we don't realize that until after it's too late. At times I thought it was weird that I wanted time away because he's my boyfriend, but I think you need to keep who you are as well as what your relationship is.

Right. Well our issue right now is we're in the same house together 24/7 with no separation for any amount of time due to reasons unless I go somewhere with his mom and she won't let him come with us lol (usually because she's trying to give me time away from him). But I think once we get moved,we get settled in and he starts school it'll get better because we'll actually have time apart and I'll actually have a chance to really miss him for a change. I think it's normal to get miffed at your SO and want time away from them when you spend so much time together that you don't get any "me time". Especially if you're someone who likes their space at times,which I know I do.

[NerdyChick]

We've had disagreements, but I can't say we've ever had like a full on argument about anything, it's usually just things where we have a bit of miscommunication and we may find ourselves frustrated, but we never get mad or spiteful, it usually ends with a "Lets think about this for a bit and come back to it" and within less than 24 hours, after we have both looked over our sides of the issue, we both end up calmly apologizing and admitting where we went wrong, then after it's solved and worked through, we usually sort of look at how well we handled things and move on. This has only really happened a hand full of times and it's always been a constructive experience in the end.