Welcome 
I've struggled with clinical depression for years, and at this stage I've come to accept that it will always be something I need to work around.
So, first up I'm going to say that you need to find healthy ways to deal with it day-to-day on your own. It's not good for your relationship to use it as a crutch. It's great he'll catch you when you fall, but what I'm saying is you need to do your part to fall less.
He can help by encouraging you, ofcourse. Some of the things that help me with my depression are yoga, religious persuits (that I wont go into
), and writing. Exercise is a really important one, as is eating right. If you look after yourself it helps keep the chemicals in your brain balanced.
One thing that Obi does to help me is something similar to a points system. I earn points for dealing with my depression in healthy ways, and I can use those points to "buy" things from him. We also have code words that I can say if I'm not able to talk about the problem but need help, or if it doesn't seem like he is understanding the seriousness of how I'm feeling. (I self harm, so it's important to head that off at the pass quickly if I feel a relapse comming on.)
Talking about the future is one thing that really helps me. Possibly you two could plan things together. Things for in ten or twenty years time. Like, sometimes if I'm feeling hopeless I'll ask Obi "When we build our house, do you want whitegoods in the kitchen, or stainless steel everything? What colour tiles would you like on the floor?" stuff like that. Having something even that far away helps me not feel like everything is a waste. We also have our set dreams, like kids, house, dream jobs, dream car/motorbike, etc etc, and being reminded of that helps. I'll ask, "what have I got to hope for?" or "Why do I bother?" and he'll remind me that one day I'll be a famous author, working from home and we'll have smart quiet children, and at our holiday house in the country I'll have a pet horse. Some of the things we throw in (like the horse and calling our baby girl Gurtrude) are just fluff on the winds wil others are stuff I really want.
Sometimes you need to tell him what to do or what you want to hear. Like, when you're stable, calmly discuss what needs to happen when you're not stable
Reading to each other is also so so good. If you're reading to him it will keep your mind from wandering down the sad path. As is working on a project together.
Best wishes, and carrots!
I've struggled with clinical depression for years, and at this stage I've come to accept that it will always be something I need to work around.
So, first up I'm going to say that you need to find healthy ways to deal with it day-to-day on your own. It's not good for your relationship to use it as a crutch. It's great he'll catch you when you fall, but what I'm saying is you need to do your part to fall less.
He can help by encouraging you, ofcourse. Some of the things that help me with my depression are yoga, religious persuits (that I wont go into
), and writing. Exercise is a really important one, as is eating right. If you look after yourself it helps keep the chemicals in your brain balanced.One thing that Obi does to help me is something similar to a points system. I earn points for dealing with my depression in healthy ways, and I can use those points to "buy" things from him. We also have code words that I can say if I'm not able to talk about the problem but need help, or if it doesn't seem like he is understanding the seriousness of how I'm feeling. (I self harm, so it's important to head that off at the pass quickly if I feel a relapse comming on.)
Talking about the future is one thing that really helps me. Possibly you two could plan things together. Things for in ten or twenty years time. Like, sometimes if I'm feeling hopeless I'll ask Obi "When we build our house, do you want whitegoods in the kitchen, or stainless steel everything? What colour tiles would you like on the floor?" stuff like that. Having something even that far away helps me not feel like everything is a waste. We also have our set dreams, like kids, house, dream jobs, dream car/motorbike, etc etc, and being reminded of that helps. I'll ask, "what have I got to hope for?" or "Why do I bother?" and he'll remind me that one day I'll be a famous author, working from home and we'll have smart quiet children, and at our holiday house in the country I'll have a pet horse. Some of the things we throw in (like the horse and calling our baby girl Gurtrude) are just fluff on the winds wil others are stuff I really want.
Sometimes you need to tell him what to do or what you want to hear. Like, when you're stable, calmly discuss what needs to happen when you're not stable
Reading to each other is also so so good. If you're reading to him it will keep your mind from wandering down the sad path. As is working on a project together.
Best wishes, and carrots!
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