Needs Help.. =(

[Emma-Louise]

Yeah.. Stressful.. Feck it.. =( Thank you for all your help & support.. xoxoxox <3

[loveonspeedial]

Emma-Louise;

I understand. My roommate/best friend whose always "supported" my relationship, but now that it's an LDR as of today she keeps telling me that she'll cheat on me, I need to break up with her, etc. Mostly, she wants my gf and I to break up so that I don't move up to be with her so I don't leave my roommate hanging.

[LadyMarchHare]

@LadymarchHare: I don't see how it is immature to want to talk about your SO, they are being immature by rolling their eyes and not acting like grown ups.
I still see it as people ruling a certain aspect of your life and i don't see it as common courtesy that you have to bite your tongue if you want to talk about your SO. To me i would rather talk about this and call people out on. I would sit whoever down and talk to the person about it as my SO is very important and i wouldn't let anybody talk bad about her nor would i listen to them say that it's not going to work.

Emma-Louise: Okay, well that small good thing here is that he can come see you, right? Then you should work towards that, and then he can meet your parents and talk with them and they can see that he isn't so bad as they thought.

You read that wrong. There's nothing immature about talking about the person. I meant it's immature of the person who obviously has a stick up their butt to bring it up when you've made a point not to.

And really that's all well and good, but I don't see the point of talking about someone to someone who doesn't like them. I mean if you honestly did not like a friend's SO and they refused to back down about talking about them with you, wouldn't you get annoyed? It's a different case from this as it's an irrational hate but the principle of the matter is still there: you don't bring up a subject someone doesn't like. The only time it's ruling you is if it's actually hurting your relationship not talking to these people and you have, literally, no one to talk to. Which obviously is why this forum is here, we can talk about our boyfriends and girlfriends until our faces turn blue and our fingers fall off from typing and gain the support the people physically around us aren't giving. Not everyone gets the novelty of supportive parents and friends and not everyone has the magic ability to make those against us suddenly on our team. Because, as I pointed out in another thread about a parent disliking a relationship for literally no reason, people who are so ground into their ignorance and their stubborn opinion will not let up for the life of them. If they're smart they'll ease up but it does not always happen and it takes time. Constantly breaching the subject is just adding stress on the person who's catching the flack because it's their happiness being hit with an ugly tree.

[MTK]

@LadyMarchHare:
You shouldn't ignore it if they don't like the love of your life, because that is a problem and in my opinion a serious problem as your SO means a lot to you. If they can't accept it then i don't want them in my life, i don't care who it is, it could be my parents or my friends but i would still not let them hate and be ignorant and be okay with it.
You might not bring up a subject that someone doesn't like but how is that going to help in the end if it needs to be talked about, even if it will be hurtful at the time.
Yes, you don't have to talk to these people but at the same time wouldn't you want your parents to know your are happy, wouldn't you want you friends to be happy for you when you talk about your SO and some silly inside joke? I think that will hurt the relationship at some point when you can't freely talk about it because they dislike it.
Indeed not everyone will have supportive parents/friends but if they are not supportive why have them in your life? They are just going to make your life miserable.
I am not saying it is easy but you can be with people who feel the same as you do. It will take a lot of you as a person and will mayhaps require sacrifices but it is all up to every individual as to how they live their life.

I don't see how we are helping the thread with our back and forth posting as it would seem like we are getting off topic and i would rather not have this affect the thread.

[LadyMarchHare]

Just a simple debate, though I do agree it seems we've strayed from the point. Anyway, with that I'll just say that if it is honestly at a point like Emma's, counseling is needed. Otherwise it's simply something the people need to get over and you need to just accept you can't force change they don't want. In reality, the people know you're happy even if they honest-to-God believe it's fake and half the time that IS the problem.

[paulawriteslove]

Hey Emma, I think you should tell your family and friends how much your SO means to you. Good luck!

[judith]

my friend used 2 nudge me saying dat its not real..its not right..and that i shud break up,,,but breaking up my friendship with her was far more intelligent thing 2 do than breaking my relationship with my bf....

[LadyMarchHare]

my friend used 2 nudge me saying dat its not real..its not right..and that i shud break up,,,but breaking up my friendship with her was far more intelligent thing 2 do than breaking my relationship with my bf....

If she was truly harassing you about it then yeah it was a wise thing to do. I actually was going to end a 9 year friendship for the same reason but I think in that case it's more she needs to meet him as she's scared of him.

Sad thing is I've been on the other end of that situation, but I ended the friendship instead of her. However, I was trying to get her away from these people (yes people, a guy and a girl) because I honestly believed they weren't good for her and I was scared they would get her into drugs or something. I wasn't blindly hating people I didn't know and I let it go on for years with occasional begging but it was for naught. Perspectives are a funny thing.

[Emma-Louise]

As for friends support.. I've discovered thats it's only my absolute best friend who doesn't care.. I told her about what happened yeaterday with my new ban to not see my bf and she just said Oh.. And moved on to a different happy topic as if I wasn't hurting at all..

I know I'm lucky enough to not have the major distance that most couples do.. For this I am EXTREMELY grateful, but for her not to see how much pain I am in because of this.. I knew she never liked the situation but I need someone to tell me everythings going to be ok.. And she should be the one person I can get that from..

To all reading this forum.. I'm so sorry for being so moany.. =(

And thank you for all the advice and support.. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox <3

[MTK]

I'm sorry to hear that, Emma. She should have handled that differently that is certain.
But if it is any consolation, i know that everything will be ok. Your SO can visit you, right? If you two aim for that at the moment then you can slowly work towards prehaps gaining your parents approval with visits from your SO and making them see that he is a good guy.

And you are not being moany about it. We are here to listen and give advice so just let it all out =)

[noodle]

You know what I did?
I pretended that I dont care about my SO, mentioned him once or twice but was more like "oh he really thinks he could get me". Im not sure if this worked, I mean my mum knows me for 19 years now, she knows whats up with me, but it made her stop talkin bad about him.