Originally posted by elina
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Newbie! :D
- Jan 2010
- 8
- New Jersey, USA
- 3000
- September 2001 then lost contact for 6 years and officially became a couple again on July 29, 2009
- Yes
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We are crazy in love with each other and I was supposed to move back to California this month but now I can't go for another year for unfortunate reasons and he can't come out here...I know things are amazing between us but what if, after all this waiting, it doesn't work out? I guess I'm just worried that he's never going to do anything with his life. He has no will to go to college or anything. He's really lazy right now. I have quite a few close guy friends (cuz I'm a tomboy and I hate girl drama) and most of them have graduated college and are starting their careers already. One of these friends in particular really likes me but unfortunate for him I am committed to my man...anyways the point I'm trying to make is I could have something more than my lazy man BUT I'm crazy about him...how can I motivate him to do more with his life? I know he is capable of bettering himself...
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I must admit it did. But honestly I think it was mostly influenced by my parents and people who thought that my SO was just playin with me (back when we werent datin yet).
But its barely up in my mind anymore, cause I know he's the one He is the one I wanna marry and have babies with haha no one else!
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Sadly, it's incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to change a man and most, will probably resent you for trying. Best thing you can do is be the best person you can be. He has to want to change and maybe if he sees you doing all this great stuff with your life, he will want the same for himself. Set a good example of how great life can be.
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Yep, both Obi and I wondered this, to the point where he tried to find someone closer to home that he could love as much as me - and being best friends, he told me as much. It was scary but neither of us really wanted to leave our family or country... or to experience the other negative sides of LDR. But, turns out I'm somewhat irreplaceable And here we are.
I'm sure I could be equally happy with someone else... simply because I wouldn't have the constant stress of missing my loved ones, but the fireworks and deep connection I have with Obi? No. It's not that there's no one in the world who could make me feel this way - I'm not really into the idea of soulmates - it's the likelyhood of being able to find someone equally as special as Obi that's slim. Finding one "special person" is hard enough!
The point of me telling you this is that it's ok to wonder, so don't feel guiltyHappily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person
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Honestly, I never really felt that way. In my case, I think it was because I was initially all lusty and full of hope. When we moved in together (temporarily) and things started to get more "normal", we immediately picked a month to end the distance for good. If we didn't have an official end of the distance in sight, I'm betting I would start to wonder if I could find someone suitable who was closer to me.
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