need advice v2.0

[Hollandia]

She did reply to your post incase you didnt notice.

Yes, I was reading and responding. LOL. This is not a chat room.
It is great to hear that she does have her priorities set on you and I am happy for both of you.

[Black_Halloween]

Wow this thread...just wow. She: Needs to make time for her SO He: Needs to stop being a paranoid, controlling ********.

[Turbopantsu]

Wow this thread...just wow. She: Needs to make time for her SO He: Needs to stop being a paranoid, controlling prick.

Honestly I am quite afraid I am being very controlling. But I have simply followed the advice in the thread. People gave the advice of setting boundaries and boundaries were set and she agreed on them. I even asked her if she saw something wrong with any of them and she said she didnt. What exactly do you think makes me controlling so I can work on it?

[Malaga]

We pretty much already talked it out as much as we can... We just want advice.

OK then, my advice would be to get over yourself. If you have no problem with her going out with other guys and you trust her not to cheat (or do you?) then accept the fact that time spent with other people is when she's focused on them, not you. You sound quite overbearing. Chill out. Stop kicking up drama if she's 10 minutes late or blowing up her phone when you know she's with someone else. You want her to have a good social life but you also want her to drop a phone call with friend when you come online. She can't blow everyone else off the moment you contact her, life doesn't work that way. It's not a test of how important you are to her. If something is urgent, communicate it clearly and ask her directly to call you or whatever. It's no wonder she's confused about which boundaries you think are appropriate. If she can't be 10 minutes late without you working up a frenzy, there's not much trust you have in her. Set a time in the day when you talk, make it something reasonable and let her work on her social life in the mean time. For someone who supposedly has a problem making friends, she seems to be doing well lately, which is good, right?

@kardin, you sound insecure in a few ways. Relax. Nothing you did seems as awful as you claim it to be. Just stick to agreements as much as possible, and don't make promises you're not sure you can keep. It's rude to chat to other people while you're talking to your boyfriend - but also the other way round. You guys need to set up a routine when you talk exclusively to each other and then you need to stick to it. Focus on one person at a time.

[Tooki]

Turbo: Stop smothering kardin. She is entitled to her own life and if you do indeed trust her, then let her be. Be sensible, talk to her and make sure that you are both on the same page. RELAX.

kardin: Talk to Turbo and be on the same page as one-another. Set boundaries so that you can feel confident about your own decisions.

[Turbopantsu]

OK then, my advice would be to get over yourself. If you have no problem with her going out with other guys and you trust her not to cheat (or do you?) then accept the fact that time spent with other people is when she's focused on them, not you. You sound quite overbearing. Chill out. Stop kicking up drama if she's 10 minutes late or blowing up her phone when you know she's with someone else. You want her to have a good social life but you also want her to drop a phone call with friend when you come online. She can't blow everyone else off the moment you contact her, life doesn't work that way. It's not a test of how important you are to her. If something is urgent, communicate it clearly and ask her directly to call you or whatever. It's no wonder she's confused about which boundaries you think are appropriate. If she can't be 10 minutes late without you working up a frenzy, there's not much trust you have in her. Set a time in the day when you talk, make it something reasonable and let her work on her social life in the mean time. For someone who supposedly has a problem making friends, she seems to be doing well lately, which is good, right?

kardin, you sound insecure in a few ways. Relax. Nothing you did seems as awful as you claim it to be. Just stick to agreements as much as possible, and don't make promises you're not sure you can keep. It's rude to chat to other people while you're talking to your boyfriend - but also the other way round. You guys need to set up a routine when you talk exclusively to each other and then you need to stick to it. Focus on one person at a time.

I dont think you understood. My quarrel is that i messaged her and she didnt message me back. I didn't want her to drop the call to call me immediately. Hell, I was in a part of the house where the internet isnt good enough for calls so I just wanted some text chat. It bugged me that when she was videochatting with me she had no problems talking to other people at the same time but when she was videochatting with him she somehow couldnt text back. Especially since she knew I had a pretty crappy day.

[snow]

Sadly there is no advice left to give other than what has already been said.
Have designated couple time where you don't talk to other people - there is no need to ignore anyone, just tell them you're spending time with each other for a while. I just did the exact same with my (male) friend: I told him my man and I are having a movie night and I will talk to him later. If they respect your relationship, they will respect that couples need couple time and if they don't then it does tell you something about them.

To you, Turbopantsu, it seems it was a mistake that she put someone else before you and is not treating you the way she is treating another guy - e.g. the video call/no talking issue.
If she apologized and understood that it upset you, then you both have to grow from this experience and forgive each other, if you can.
Honestly, I can see that you're upset that your girlfriend is talking to other guys while it's couple time to you and that she's not doing the same for you, but you have to communicate this, she has to try to understand it and you both try again.

In the beginning of our relationship I had problems with common sense myself and I needed my partner to tell me what exactly upset him, then we talked about it and I learned from it.

To kardin: Now you know what he doesn't like and what makes him upset, which is a good thing. Learn from what happened.

Best of luck to you. You can send me a PM if you want to talk about this some more.

[dem&ter]

Yeah this may sound judgemental but I think you're both just not ready for having an LDR.