Hopeless-Too Much Fighting.

[RachelAnne]

Hello all. I'm feeling really hopeless and scared about where things stand right now, so I'm just looking for some comforting words

This week has been hell for me--to put it simply. Just a very bad week overall. Unfortunately, I've let it get out of control to the point of fighting constantly ALL week with my boyfriend. It blew up and almost ended in a breakup last night. Last night, after days and days of fighting and coldness between us, around midnight I tried to sit down and really talk to him, feeling tired of everything and just trying to fix things. He then basically blew me off, telling me he didn't have time, he had work to do. I understand this...he's busy all the time. So I said "okay," told him goodnight, and said I was just going to bed. A couple minutes later he tries texting me a couple times and calling me, all of which I ignore (I regret doing this now). I finally answer him and he then just tells me I'm annoying sometimes and says "That's it, now go to sleep." This just set me off again, and I said "really? That's what you wanted to say to me?" It then leads into another huge fight where things were said that I wish I could take back. He also said "I'm sorry I let myself get into another serious relationship." This was a slap in the face to me. After he said this, I told him if he wanted to break up to just do it right now. After a couple minutes of making him feel like crap, he says he takes it back and that he didn't mean it. I asked him again if he wants to break up with me, to just do it. He kept saying "no, I still love you, but I don't know how we're going to fix this." I went to bed shortly after this, so nothing was fixed at all.

I really have no idea what to do. We've been going at this for days with no end in sight. I'm not tempted to try and fix things now because I'm assuming he'll just blow me off again like he did last night. I wish I had the heart to suggest taking a break, but I'm scared of that just leading to a breakup, and I know if I do that, I'll miss him a couple days later. I don't know what to do I guess I'm just looking for some comfort right now Thanks everyone

[PrincessJOE]

I'm sorry all this is going on, first of all :/
I didn't get if theres a special thing that leads to these arguments, it's a 'general' thing due to bad moments I assumed, right? Well, if it's like this, i'd suggest you to take a step back yourself. I mean, you said you dont feel 'ready' to suggest him to take a break, which i can understand, so what if it's just you taking some time for yourself, without making it 'official'? With this, i dont mean being cold to him or anything bad, just take some time for yourself, especially if you feel stressed and like if you can't talk to him directly for fear of being blown off. leave him the time to be the one who comes up with a text or a call, and try to count till 10 before writing back: as you said, you wish you could take back some of the things you said, so it means you probably said them cos you were angry or nervous.

Last, i give you a little advice about something i learnt not long ago myself: remember men tend to see and react differently to things, especially if it's something about you being nervous or other things that in their eyes are little things. As i said before, i dont know if whats going on between the two of you is linked to some episode or anything, but if its not, just keep in mind that he cant feel or fully understand what YOU are going through. i dont mean they are better or worse, just different if you want to talk about anything, feel free to pm me anyway, i've been there too and i know what it means when you need to let everything out to someone

Good luck!!!

[princessmaria]

Do you know the exact reason why you guys are fighting? It's unclear to me. Did he do something bad, or vise versa? Aside from ignoring each other or delivering little quips, which obviously you both have done, I don't see why it can't be settled. Don't sweat the small stuff, and certainly don't make a mountain out of a molehill. Under the assumption that you two aren't fighting over anything serious, you could probably start off "talking it out" by apologizing, admitting that you two are arguing over nothing and that literally, it could go on forever. Silly arguments tend to be the ones that last forever and often end up breaking relationships. If you don't want that, you both have to suck it up, sweep it under the bridge, and never bring it back up again. He loves you, and you love him. Your love for each other is worth more than whatever you two might be fighting over.