A short way to describe how I'm feeling is, well, afraid. I may have dated online/long-distance for 4 out of the 5 relationships I've ever had, but the current relationship I have is nothing like the ones before it.
We haven't met in person yet, we met online in a video game around 5 months ago. He was a player I had seen around the community and I thought he was pretty cool, so I asked if he wanted to join a Skype call with me and a few other players. He did, and we've kept talking ever since. We were like best friends before we started dating-- we connected on a deeper level, could make each other laugh, and were simply fascinated by each others' personalities. Sooner or later, I realized I was really in love with this guy, more deeply in love than any other guy I've met. He felt the same way, except he was afraid to ask me out because of his age. He's 15 while I'm 18.
On Aug 22nd, I told him his age didn't matter to me, and so he asked if I wanted us to start dating. It's been a little over a month, and it's been just plain amazing. The only problem is I love him a little bit more every day, and with that, the pain of not seeing him grows a little bit more, every day. I've never really been touched by a guy, still haven't had my first kiss. Often when we text each other hugs, or blow kisses on Skype video calls, I can almost feel him embrace me, and while its a great feeling, I also feel a lot of weight in my chest from missing him. "You can't miss what you never had" they say, yet I miss his physical presence, even though it was never there.
Of course, I've been scheming even before we started dating on ways that I could potentially meet him, and I think I've found a totally realistic, yet, pretty risky way to meet him. I've been thinking about taking a 5-6hr road trip to meet him at his house or someplace public (like a Starbucks for example). Since I dorm at college, my parents don't really know what I do on weekends. I know they wouldn't approve of this trip, especially since I've been so sheltered my entire life (never gone to a public school, never seen pot or drugs in real life, never been to a house party, never has seen someone drunk, never done/seen a lot of things)... So if I were to do the road trip, I would have to do it without their approval or knowledge. The plan is, on a Saturday morning, to use my phone GPS to direct me to his place or where ever we agree to meet. I'd get there around noon/afternoon. Then we hang out, and do what we want for the rest of the weekend. Since I could get away with gas expenses but probably not hotel expenses, I don't know if I want to go to a hotel/motel, or if I should stay at his place. He lives with his mom mostly, and his mom is pretty supportive of our relationship, so she wouldn't have a problem with it, most likely. I would leave on Monday morning, since my first class is at 3:10, and I definitely would get back to the campus before then.
This trip most likely wouldn't happen in the next month. I'm still getting settled in college as a freshman, and have to organize my life a bit, not to mention get psychologically prepared for such a challenging trip. The earliest this trip could happen is probably November.
It thrills me that doing this is something completely out of the ordinary for me, and I long to experience adventure to make up for my boring and sheltered life. I want to see him so very badly as well.
Should I go for it? Any extra advice, thoughts, precautions?
We haven't met in person yet, we met online in a video game around 5 months ago. He was a player I had seen around the community and I thought he was pretty cool, so I asked if he wanted to join a Skype call with me and a few other players. He did, and we've kept talking ever since. We were like best friends before we started dating-- we connected on a deeper level, could make each other laugh, and were simply fascinated by each others' personalities. Sooner or later, I realized I was really in love with this guy, more deeply in love than any other guy I've met. He felt the same way, except he was afraid to ask me out because of his age. He's 15 while I'm 18.
On Aug 22nd, I told him his age didn't matter to me, and so he asked if I wanted us to start dating. It's been a little over a month, and it's been just plain amazing. The only problem is I love him a little bit more every day, and with that, the pain of not seeing him grows a little bit more, every day. I've never really been touched by a guy, still haven't had my first kiss. Often when we text each other hugs, or blow kisses on Skype video calls, I can almost feel him embrace me, and while its a great feeling, I also feel a lot of weight in my chest from missing him. "You can't miss what you never had" they say, yet I miss his physical presence, even though it was never there.
Of course, I've been scheming even before we started dating on ways that I could potentially meet him, and I think I've found a totally realistic, yet, pretty risky way to meet him. I've been thinking about taking a 5-6hr road trip to meet him at his house or someplace public (like a Starbucks for example). Since I dorm at college, my parents don't really know what I do on weekends. I know they wouldn't approve of this trip, especially since I've been so sheltered my entire life (never gone to a public school, never seen pot or drugs in real life, never been to a house party, never has seen someone drunk, never done/seen a lot of things)... So if I were to do the road trip, I would have to do it without their approval or knowledge. The plan is, on a Saturday morning, to use my phone GPS to direct me to his place or where ever we agree to meet. I'd get there around noon/afternoon. Then we hang out, and do what we want for the rest of the weekend. Since I could get away with gas expenses but probably not hotel expenses, I don't know if I want to go to a hotel/motel, or if I should stay at his place. He lives with his mom mostly, and his mom is pretty supportive of our relationship, so she wouldn't have a problem with it, most likely. I would leave on Monday morning, since my first class is at 3:10, and I definitely would get back to the campus before then.
This trip most likely wouldn't happen in the next month. I'm still getting settled in college as a freshman, and have to organize my life a bit, not to mention get psychologically prepared for such a challenging trip. The earliest this trip could happen is probably November.
It thrills me that doing this is something completely out of the ordinary for me, and I long to experience adventure to make up for my boring and sheltered life. I want to see him so very badly as well.
Should I go for it? Any extra advice, thoughts, precautions?
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