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Anyone ever question your LDR?

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    Anyone ever question your LDR?

    I ran into an old friend the other day and told her all about my LDR with B. She was happy for me but she asked me this:

    Don't you feel you're passing up other local opportunities that may also work for you?

    Are you afraid of finding another love because you've invested so much time and money into this relationship and would regret that?

    Hmmm........

    There are a few men I've encountered. since meeting B, that I would be interested in if I wasn't already in a relationship. But not enough interest to take it further than friendship (although I know they would like more).

    I have invested a LOT of money and over a year of my life into this relationship. Would I regret it if that were changed? No. I've grown immensely through this experience -- for the better -- and would never regret the experiences I've had because of him.

    ......What are your views on these questions?
    February 2012 -- met online
    August 2012 -- he said "I love you."
    April 2013 -- met in person
    June 2013 -- broke up
    July 2013 -- back together
    August 2013 -- 2nd visit
    October 20, 2013 -- He proposed!
    April 22, 2014 -- Married/closed the distance!

    #2
    Ohhhh yes.

    I think there are always going to be people that are in opposition of anything, and LDRs are no exception!

    Of course there could be other people locally that could work out, but the reason I'm with my SO after all is because I think he's worth it, worth more than anyone near where I live! XD

    Comment


      #3
      Yeah. I feel like whatever you choose to do, you're sacrificing all the other options. Sure I may be passing out local opportunities for someone far away but the same goes for people who date CD, they're sacrificing the chance to meet someone that may be better for them for someone close. Just how life works haha.

      I also agree that I wouldn't regret all the money and time. My relationship has helped me grow so much, especially in ways that a CD relationship wouldn't have done. It's helped me prioritize, communicate, even budget. I do like to think that the money we spend on plane tickets and such will eventually even out with the amount of money people who locally date spend on date nights and other activities though.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Brieasaurus View Post
        I do like to think that the money we spend on plane tickets and such will eventually even out with the amount of money people who locally date spend on date nights and other activities though.
        That is a very good point!
        February 2012 -- met online
        August 2012 -- he said "I love you."
        April 2013 -- met in person
        June 2013 -- broke up
        July 2013 -- back together
        August 2013 -- 2nd visit
        October 20, 2013 -- He proposed!
        April 22, 2014 -- Married/closed the distance!

        Comment


          #5
          I do get questions like that from my family and friends all the time, but the thing is, I not only invested a lot of time and money into this relationship I also found what I always wanted in this person, giving that up to try and build it again with someone new would just be silly - you only find your soulmate once

          Also there wouldn't even be anyone that would have interest in me, so there is really nothing I am missing out on.

          Relationship began: 05/22/2012
          First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
          Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
          Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
          Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
          Married: 1/24/2015
          Became Resident: 9/14/2015

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by snow View Post
            Also there wouldn't even be anyone that would have interest in me, so there is really nothing I am missing out on.
            No one else would have interest in you? Surely, there are others who would find you attractive, fun, and loving -- IF you weren't already in a relationship. That sounded so negative, darlin'.
            February 2012 -- met online
            August 2012 -- he said "I love you."
            April 2013 -- met in person
            June 2013 -- broke up
            July 2013 -- back together
            August 2013 -- 2nd visit
            October 20, 2013 -- He proposed!
            April 22, 2014 -- Married/closed the distance!

            Comment


              #7
              Sure, but usually only from people who don't know me well. When they ask about money, I tell them I would have spent that traveling anyway, so what's the difference? And my guy is the perfect match, if I tried for that locally, it would take years and years. I don't get upset when they ask though, they just don't understand.
              Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

              Comment


                #8
                This Relationship for me is 'this or noone else'

                I am not intrested in meeting anyone else, don't care about any other posibility because there is none.

                And if it won't work out somehow I will never regret it and probably never love anyone this strongly again, if at all.

                As far as I'm concerned its THE guy for me and we are going to grow old have bunch of kids and then grandkids.
                “We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.”
                ― Robert Fulghum, True Love

                Met UK 3.08.2012-5.08.12 ->UK 1.12.12-3.12.12->PL 8.02.13-16.02.13->PL 1.06.13-9.06.13->UK 3.08.13-17.08.13->UK 26.10.2013-02.11.2013->PL 30.11.2013-08.12.2013->PL 22.03.2014-29.03.2014->UK 31.05.2014-07.06.2014->PL 06.09.2014-13.09.13->UK 20.12.2014-03.01.2015
                Closed the distance >21.03.2015
                sigpic

                Comment


                  #9
                  Surprisingly all of my friends have not questioned my relationship. It appears I was very lucky in my choice of friends (also I don't have that many, ha).

                  The one person who "questioned" my relationship is a former professor who told me that, since he lives far away, I was free to find someone to have sex with here. I kinda just rolled my eyes at that one.
                  So, here you are
                  too foreign for home
                  too foreign for here.
                  Never enough for both.

                  Ijeoma Umebinyuo, Diaspora Blues

                  Comment


                    #10
                    [QUOTE=Ejoriah;314748

                    The one person who "questioned" my relationship is a former professor who told me that, since he lives far away, I was free to find someone to have sex with here. I kinda just rolled my eyes at that one.[/QUOTE]

                    Sounds like your professor wanted to have sex with you. Haha

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Ok, I see that I worded the subject badly. I know that others question it, I've put up with a lot of that. I meant do any of YOU question your LDR relationship and what you might be missing out on?
                      February 2012 -- met online
                      August 2012 -- he said "I love you."
                      April 2013 -- met in person
                      June 2013 -- broke up
                      July 2013 -- back together
                      August 2013 -- 2nd visit
                      October 20, 2013 -- He proposed!
                      April 22, 2014 -- Married/closed the distance!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        No. Not at all. I've never met anyone like my guy, some local dude is no substitute, just because he lives in the same area I do. I know, I've tried, for practically my whole life I've tried. I've finally found the right one, regardless of where he lives, so I don't question it at all.
                        Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Benni View Post
                          No one else would have interest in you? Surely, there are others who would find you attractive, fun, and loving -- IF you weren't already in a relationship. That sounded so negative, darlin'.
                          Thanks, you're right. I remember I even talked to my man about it some time ago. He said there's atleast 3 people amongst our mutual friends who would probably try to get with me, if he was gone. But I guess they see us as the fairytale couple and wouldn't even remotely interfere while we're together.

                          Relationship began: 05/22/2012
                          First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
                          Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
                          Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
                          Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
                          Married: 1/24/2015
                          Became Resident: 9/14/2015

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Moon, I totally agree! I've never met such a decent man who treats me well. I'm so happy!

                            snow, see -- I knew you'd be interesting to others!
                            February 2012 -- met online
                            August 2012 -- he said "I love you."
                            April 2013 -- met in person
                            June 2013 -- broke up
                            July 2013 -- back together
                            August 2013 -- 2nd visit
                            October 20, 2013 -- He proposed!
                            April 22, 2014 -- Married/closed the distance!

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I do get those moments sometimes where I wonder what it would be like to go back to normally dating somebody who lived close by, but I know I couldn't. I'm madly in love with my SO, and I think it's worth all the crap we have to go through to be together; even if we're apart the majority of the time.

                              Comment

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