SO Traveling Abroad With Ex?

[kiara_silver]

Going to school, and his ex being there you can't really do anything about, education is important. But not telling his ex he's taken? Like everyone else has said, thats a red flag. Ex or not, he should be willing to let any girl know he's taken, and not give off a single vibe. I think it's a bit.... I can't think of the right word, but when a guys been hanging out or chatting with a girl, and then later it's the girl who finds out he has a girl friend. And the guy never said anything. I don't think a casual encounter your supposed to stand up and say "I AM TAKEN" but it should be slipped in there at some early point, just to make things clear. Especially to a old flame.

It be different possibly if you haven't met yet, and he doesn't want to tell people until it been confirmed, but you two have met and are official, I wouldn't be happy with this.

[silvermoonfairy3]

Yup, weird. Totally agree with the others.

He doesn't have to say to his ex "hey, I really need to tell you something.. I'm seeing someone" but there are lots of ways to mention it.

[RachelAnne]

Thanks for the responses, everyone. As frustrating as it is, I'm waiting until later tonight for him to call me. We're supposed to talk things through. Not sure exactly how it's going to go.

[MadMolly]

I wouldn't care if my boyfriend didn't tell distant relations or acquaintances about me obviously. But if he is *friends* with someone then they are already part of his personal life and you are included in that! Big fat NOPE from me. Then again I am 100% against major exes being friends, I am a no-contact, burn-bridges kind of girl and so is he luckily.

[Hollandia]

He only needs to say something like this...." I wish to clarify that I am unavailable." He does not need to go into details at all. He needs to tell her that or he is almost misleading her that he is available. You either are or are not, I am shocked if at some point she does not come out and ask. What will he tell her if she does?

I am really good friend's with one of my Ex's. He has known about my SO since we started dating.

[digitalfever]

This isn't "good" advice BUT you can't really do much. Even if he does say that he's taken she could try something. Or he could try something. I think at this point you have to take it as it comes.

[Kanga]

I wouldn't care if my boyfriend didn't tell distant relations or acquaintances about me obviously. But if he is *friends* with someone then they are already part of his personal life and you are included in that! Big fat NOPE from me. Then again I am 100% against major exes being friends, I am a no-contact, burn-bridges kind of girl and so is he luckily.

This is honestly how I feel 100%, then again I'm the type that doesn't think men and women can be JUST friends without some kind of attraction. Then again you trust him, so that's a good thing.

[miss_jaclynrae]

As someone who is looking for a serious long term relationship, I wouldn't put up with any of it.
They just happen to be studying abroad together? WTF? I have never heard of something like that in my entire life.
Then to top it off him not wanting to tell her about you? How can anyone in their right mind think any of it is ok?!?


This is like they just happened to go to the same college together, this is two people PLANNING to study abroad together. After watching the process of DB studying abroad, I could not fathom him coming up to me to let me know his ex girlfriend was going too. NO WAY.

I am serious baffled by the lack of questioning by people.
How long have you guys been together?

[RachelAnne]

As someone who is looking for a serious long term relationship, I wouldn't put up with any of it.
They just happen to be studying abroad together? WTF? I have never heard of something like that in my entire life.
Then to top it off him not wanting to tell her about you? How can anyone in their right mind think any of it is ok?!?


This is like they just happened to go to the same college together, this is two people PLANNING to study abroad together. After watching the process of DB studying abroad, I could not fathom him coming up to me to let me know his ex girlfriend was going too. NO WAY.

I am serious baffled by the lack of questioning by people.
How long have you guys been together?

We've been talking for seven years, but didn't meet until summer of last year. We've seen each other 4 times since then

[miss_jaclynrae]

Yeah, after that long of being together, such actions would not be tolerated.
Not for me anyways. It isn't about not trusting him, or worried about what he could do... it would be about the lack of consideration and the obvious choice of putting someone else before you. By him refusing to tell her, it automatically is showing what means more to him.

[RachelAnne]

We had a long talk last night. He said if he spends enough time with her next semester and it somehow comes up in conversation, he'll make it known that he's seeing somebody. Still not sure if I'm okay with this or not. I also told him that if him hanging out with her interferes with our time to talk, I will not be happy at all. I guess the biggest thing here is that I need to trust that nothing will happen between the two of them. It still makes me a little nervous.

[Lilly9886]

The big question for me would be, if they'll be living together when in London! Either students-home or a shared flat?

I would not be ok with any of it, acutally. If they would be living together even less.

I hope you two can work it out!

[80anthea]

We had a long talk last night. He said if he spends enough time with her next semester and it somehow comes up in conversation, he'll make it known that he's seeing somebody. Still not sure if I'm okay with this or not. I also told him that if him hanging out with her interferes with our time to talk, I will not be happy at all. I guess the biggest thing here is that I need to trust that nothing will happen between the two of them. It still makes me a little nervous.

That sounds like he isn't planning on spending that much time with her so maybe it isn't as much of an issue as you originally thought?

[miss_jaclynrae]

I hate to bring this up, but you guys have been fighting lately right? I remember reading one of your previous posts and it was about how you two weren't doing so well.


That paired up with this... I just don't understand why you are dealing with all of this. As an outsider, it is obvious he isn't keeping how you feel in mind, and after a year together that would be the LEAST I would expect.

[RachelAnne]

When we talked last night he made a comment about how "even if I spend a bit more time with her, it won't mean anything" or something like that, I don't remember. I have no idea how much time the two of them will be spending together. He basically just told me I needed to trust him.

And we were doing a lot better until this incident, but we're trying to work through this right now