Deadline got pushed back ... very very sad

[OperaDiva]

We had a really difficult talk last night. When we spoke about closing distance before, the date we planned for was March-April. However, this is not realistic and the realization slowly pushed its way into my brain until I started crying on Skype last night. He still has a thesis to submit and defend and other financial things to sort out and it is simply no possible to do all of this in 5-6 months. He agreed that the next academic year was much more realistic - September/October - and it broke my heart. I couldn't stop thinking that we will spend the next 10 months apart, with maybe a week together every couple of months, and then we would have to say goodbye again. AND there is still no guarantee that it would work in 10 months. I couldn't sleep well and I still feel really sad. He wanted to give me some hope, but right now it is not even sure we can meet for Christmas because of money problems on my side.
I don't know what to do or say, and I don't think he does either. I don't want to bring him down, but I can't pretend to be happy either...


PS I know some people here have been doing this for years and probably see this as exaggeration. But I can't help feeling that I have had a year of my life with him taken away.

[Moon]

No advice, hon, just

[sarahjane1992]

I'm in a similar situation. My SO and I have around a year before it would be possible to close the distance. And there isn't a guarantee on that. There's lots of things to work on.
I understand how disappointing that can be. Hugs!

[Zapookie]

I think I've got about a year (not 100% sure) until I close the distance with my SO, too, with only maybe 2 visits in that time frame. I feel your pain. You just have to look at the bigger picture. Time will fly if you're both busy, and you'll at least get to see each other every couple of months! And in the meantime, you can post to us here about your troubles if you need a shoulder.

[temporaryuser]

we had this realization a few months ago as well. He was suppossed to finish school in December, be down here the first of the year. School got a new director for the program that changed things up and now he doesnt graduate till July.
Yes, it sucks. Walking into it with expectations set on a certain date are not the best ideas when it comes to LDR's as so many things can change and often do.
Take hop in the fact that it was only pushed out another year and do what you can to make things go smoothly and get everything done that needs to be

[80anthea]

Yep we're in the same situation too, we're looking at a year minimum with only a couple of visits in between. It sucks but it's still worth waiting for.

[princessmaria]

Same situation. I was supposed to transfer universities twice to close the distance with my SO. We made that decision in August 2012 and Feb this year. Last year we realized it wouldn't be possible, and the closer it got to winter this year, the more we began to realize it won't be possible because my finances aren't sufficient enough for a study permit. We've pushed it back until Summer 2014, so in total we had to push our deadline back almost two years.

The amazing part is that Summer 2014 is only 7 months around the corner now!! We are almost 100% positive this time that all will work out, as long as I get accepted into the school I want. I know it feels like forever now, but I went from 2 yrs to 7 months in what feels like a blink of an eye. Cherish the visits you have with your SO and hang in there. In the end all of the waiting will be worth it.

[silvermoonfairy3]

I'll throw in my "same situation, probably" too. M was originally going to be done with his phd at the end of summer, and we would visit around the holidays, and discuss jobs and distance-closing. Phd got pushed back til end of the year, and then he's teaching an intersession course, and possibly a spring semester one.. We're hoping for February visit, but closing the distance is looking like September at the earliest, and even that's only if he gets a job teaching.

So, no advice, but it sucks, I know, and hug. It's worth it, though.

[folclor]

It'll be okay, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. ^^ I think almost everyone here understands how you feel right now. There's so much that can delay getting to be close distance with your SO and it gets very upsetting very quickly, especially when it goes from 6 months apart (which is already difficult) to an approximate 10 months apart.

Try to keep busy anyway. It'll be good for you. If you can't keep busy then hang out with friends. If you can't hang out with friends you can hang out with us ^^

[dandelion]

I have same situation - one year hopefully left before we close the distance and maybe one visit during that 1 year. You have to be petient and wait for a big future with your SO. Wish you everything good! hugs :**

[OperaDiva]

Aww, thank you guys feeling the love here! It is sad and it sucks, but we just have to grind our teeth and go through it. And lean on each other along the way. Hugs to you all

[roosie]

Sorry to hear about that, it's hard to deal with such disappointment after having your hopes up. Take some time for yourself to heal from it and then concentrate on keeping yourself busy and planning for your life together, you can do it! Tsemppiä!

[Kristin91]

I can kind of relate... my SO and I are long distance again until at least next semester, but then I'm graduating and he's not... So I'm going to get a job and he's going to be in school... but then what? We could be long distance for a few more years until we can both get good jobs in the same location.

I don't have any advice, just

[kikidee]

Sorry to hear that/: just remember he's worth it! The closest my SO and I can close the distance is 4 years due to university and him being in the airforce /:

[Deleted]

Man, this really sucks!

It's hard to think of anything positive right now, I bet. Just think of this time apart as a time to strengthen your relationship even more. I believe in you! You can get through this.