totally confused ;(

[xhanne]

hello every one am xhanne from Philippines,
let me start with this its been more than two weeks since this man from Sweden and i have chatted. i meet him in a dating site his a a half Filipino and american. he asked for my viber and ym and i gave it to him, I can say that even though it is only a short time i fell inlove with him, we talk about everyones life, thought we have totally different time I wake up middle of the night and early in the morning just to message him at viber, actually I spend money just to be online always and talk only to him. but i felt confused now for he dont ask about my family my real name, thought he says to meet me next year. i always catch him online at the dating site where i met him. but i dont tell it to him, cause I know i dont have the right to ask him why he still go online to that site. at our message we says we miss each other want to hug and kiss each other, one time I ask him if he is serious on me, he says yes he is. Im 24 and his 33 but he looks age younger than his age. I actually make music video for us with his picture and mine and send it to him. i made effort everytime always looking at my phone to see if he replies. I dont want to expect from him, but oh my God im falling inlove with him. what should I do? or what should be feel. thank you and God bless every body


xhanne

[alizee]

Hi and welcome to the forum! I think you are rushing things with this man! You are only talking for 2 weeks. Do you really have a relationship? I mean does he see what you have as a relationship, or the beginning of a one???? Because if he doesn*t and only wants to "talk" to someone, then you will get hurt.
And please, try to be a little relaxed about things with him, as I said you only have 2 weeks of talking. Take things step by step and see how your relationship progresses. I know it*s hard, but that*s the best advice I can give you ...
Does he reply to you often? (I mean as time allows!) or Do you feel him excited when talking to you? I don*t think the fact that he didn*t ask about your family is a red flag! And how come he doesn*t know your name???? When you met on the dating site didn*t you have your first name written ? Do you know his real name??? Did you ask him to tell you or he mentioned it????

[princessmaria]

I would take it down a notch or two. I don't think his behavior is abnormal. It doesn't sound like you two are exclusive and two weeks is a very short amount of time. You two are just breaking the surface of getting to know each other. If he wants to pursue a deeper relationship with you, I'm sure he'll ask more personal questions. Right now, it doesn't seem like he is being that serious. If he doesn't know your real name, it's a bit impossible for it to be serious. For your own sake I would back off from him. Don't devote so much time and energy into someone who is not doing the same for you, and if it is going to grow into a relationship, then let it happen naturally.

[dem&ter]

Sweety you're working too hard for this thing. I know that sometimes we just 'know' it while we're all of sudden in love with someone... But love it doesn't always about how great the feeling is. You need to balance it with some rational thoughts too. It's good that you've noticed about him not even asks you for your real name yet. You can start from that, take your time to get to know him more before develop any deeper feeling. Right now, he may seem nice, but who may not? Every people wants to make first impression as great as he/she can! We don't really know yet about what actually he wants... He can be good and genuine as that, but there is still probabilty too he's somehow a different person. Only time can reveal...

My suggestion is, take some steps back, don't give too much information about yourself unless he does the same thing to you. Make sure every single information is legitimate if it comes from him. Dating website is great, but it can be dangerous place too, so be patient and careful and wish you best luck!

[xhanne]

thank's for the effort to respond on me..
Its really feels good to belong here

know what i ask him already what we have now and he answers what do i want us to have.. it sounds weird because am the one whose asking what we were having. then I answer i told him that i like him and he says he likes me too, i ask him again if he is now my bf then he answers yes, i ask him if he will be faithful and he say yes again. i told him if he wants me to make a call or text or even email him whenever i want, the he replies yes if that what i want but the email thing he says we already have viber why use email. i asked his real name and he told me , but he never asked me back.Yes on a dating site you only have the first name and most of the time they dont really put the real one. really wanna know who is he really, his family, work friends and everything about him. then i tried to search him on fb but there's no result. i asked him if he have a n account on fb i dont know if he reads it or just ignore. he don't reply. I never asked again.
then one time i said i missing him the way he message me , because he used to reply every time i text him, but as the days goes by just text 2 or 4 times. when i ask him why or was he get bored on me. then he replies he was just so busy at work and stressed. i should not be worry.. I think am acting like a paranoid here.. but you know what i really like him. I never chatted to anyone else since i knew him. am so tired of thinking

tell me what can you say about it? should I stop?
thank you so much,,
God bless

[alizee]

I understand you!!! But again just try to relax, because you only have a relationship for only a month. A month is a short time ... and about the texts, don*t worry if he doesn*t send them throughout the day, or if he sends only a few... My boyfriend is like that, in fact he never sends me texts (well, except 2-3 times on his own from the beginning of our relationship), but he always replies when I send them to him. And yes, he has a stressful job ....
And that is great that he told you his real name (that is a good sign!!!) and that he told you he will be faithful to you ... I believe you two have a good start, by what you wrote, but just take things slow, don*t force them ... I know it*s hard (I KNOW IT IN MY OWN RELATIONSHIP!!!!)

[Neide]

Sweety you're working too hard for this thing. I know that sometimes we just 'know' it while we're all of sudden in love with someone... But love it doesn't always about how great the feeling is. You need to balance it with some rational thoughts too. It's good that you've noticed about him not even asks you for your real name yet. You can start from that, take your time to get to know him more before develop any deeper feeling. Right now, he may seem nice, but who may not? Every people wants to make first impression as great as he/she can! We don't really know yet about what actually he wants... He can be good and genuine as that, but there is still probabilty too he's somehow a different person. Only time can reveal...

My suggestion is, take some steps back, don't give too much information about yourself unless he does the same thing to you. Make sure every single information is legitimate if it comes from him. Dating website is great, but it can be dangerous place too, so be patient and careful and wish you best luck!

i completely agree with this!

Hmm this is a tough situation :/ because it's so much easier to get to know someone first than to date them straight away after knowing them for a short while because you get to find out small things such as when they can text you, their time zone etc, and during that beginning part it's not frustrating because you're still getting to know them. i feel as if you kind of have to just be patient with him, don't let yourself get frustrated or hurt because technically you're still at that part where you're still getting to know each other and still need to uncover the simplest things about each other. i'm not sure if you should stop, but it would have been so much easier to wait and see incase you did get hurt plus with online dating sites you're really never sure if they are who they say they are. but if you really do love him then i don't see why you can't keep going, but make sure to be patient and learn more about him, but he also has to want to learn about you too! so make sure he also seems interested.

but yes, all i can say is to be completely patient, don't rush things at all, take things slow and go with the flow of the relationship. i hope all goes well for you! and we're all here if you need more opinions! xo