In need of some words of wisdom/support.

[alittlemind]

I apologize in advance if this doesn't make any sense at all but this is just how my mind is going and I'm pretty upset.

I'll start at the very very beginning. My boyfriends dad works for the government and they got transferred here last summer. The way the school system here works is that our 11th grade (junior year) here is actually our senior year. Then we go to some sort of university-prep college (not sure how to explain it). Of course, since my boyfriend just transferred into school, he was not ready to go to our "college" equivalent here, plus his grades were not that great and the government did not support it at the time or something like that? Not sure of the details. Anyway, he had to go back to Texas and is now doing his senior year of high school.

The plan was for me to transfer to an actually US college in Texas, to be close to him. My living situation here is stressful and it would be faster for me to get a degree in Texas than here. His dad is currently still living in Canada, while my boyfriend and his mom are over there. In December they are coming here, and my boyfriends mom is staying, while my boyfriend goes back to Texas. I was supposed to return with him and continue college there in January. Originally all the parents were in agreement with this. Originally.

Today it was decided that I would not be going in January. Now the plans are all up in the air. I'm not a big fan of change, especially not sudden changes like this that I did not see coming. Of course I knew my parents were a bit apprehensive about the whole thing, I don't blame them at all and I respect their decision. I just have a hard time accepting it.

I've had about three hours since this happened to process it. Half of which was spent letting all my emotions out (i.e. crying them out). I have no doubt that my boyfriend and I can do this. Our relationship is strong. I'm not really even sure what I am looking for in writing this post. Mostly I think I just need comfort and to know that I'm not crazy in being upset over this or alone in this situation.

I just want to thank everyone on this forum. Even in our own struggles we manage to help others out. I admire your strength. I hope you're day is going better than mine, and if it's not, here's a hug

[mllebamako]

I'm so sorry that your plans changed but good for you for being so mature about it and accepting of the new situation. You're not crazy/overreacting for being upset. Get upset, cry it out, write an angry letter, whatever you need to do. You just found out about these big changes. Like you said, you and your SO are strong and can handle this new curveball. I hope you find a new plan that, even if not ideal, will work for you and your SO.

[Alsfia]

I know how you feel, me and my SO were to close the distance temporarily in January with me getting a flat and a job while he finishes school and then move in with me, but his family was completely against the idea (why I don't know, I'd pay for it for myself and he'd still live at home while finishing, possibly staying a night or so at my flat since we planned to get it in same town as he goes to school in) but there's no use to argue. It still sucks and I'm glad you're able to handle it so maturely

[Deleted]

I'm here to offer you some support.

It really sucks that this had to happen, but you're handling this very maturely. I have trust in you that you can get through this. Love always finds a way to make it work.

And if all else fails, there are always cute animals.

[alittlemind]

Thank you ladies for your sweet replies. They made me feel better. The animals were super adorable, thank you Lori. My boyfriend and I had a long talk about our future and how the next couple months will go, and I am confident that we will be okay. As my boyfriend said, things may not be okay right now, but they will be. As all of you know, it might not be easy, but it'll be worth it. Once again, thank you.

[Ejoriah]

I'm sorry, but can I ask why you haven't tried talking to your parents about their worries to see if you can work things out? You said your parents were a bit apprehensive - why? Maybe their fears can be quelled a bit. My mother was completely against me leaving to study abroad (it's a much bigger distance than Canada-US) but I did all the research, calculated costs, found out how I would get around transportation-wise, everything, and convinced her I was ready for it. I don't know if you've already tried all those things but you're going to be an adult soon and leaving for university is one of those things that will make you grow up that much faster. If the only problem is that they have apprehensions and are scared for their little girl, maybe you can talk to them and show them you're ready for that.

[Deleted]

Aw, it's no problem! I'm glad to know that you're feeling better. Everything takes time. If you ever need anything, I'm here to help.

[alittlemind]

I'm sorry, but can I ask why you haven't tried talking to your parents about their worries to see if you can work things out? You said your parents were a bit apprehensive - why? Maybe their fears can be quelled a bit. My mother was completely against me leaving to study abroad (it's a much bigger distance than Canada-US) but I did all the research, calculated costs, found out how I would get around transportation-wise, everything, and convinced her I was ready for it. I don't know if you've already tried all those things but you're going to be an adult soon and leaving for university is one of those things that will make you grow up that much faster. If the only problem is that they have apprehensions and are scared for their little girl, maybe you can talk to them and show them you're ready for that.

I think most of my parents worry is that I am still 17, but the apprehension comes from both families. It's a lot of things that added up that made them change their minds. First of all, it is kind of sudden. Second, they'd just prefer it if we had a set of parents there (which next summer my boyfriend's dad will be transferred back), because they don't want us to have to fend completely for ourselves, or need for one of Joe's relatives to "look after us". Also next summer I think we will be a bit better prepared, plus I'll have been with my boyfriend for longer and I think they'll be less apprehensive about whether or not we will "last". I am upset about the situation, but if both sets of parents do not agree, I'm not sure what else there is I can do. I've done most of the process on my own, made a budget for my boyfriend and I, gotten all the information I could that my parents asked for, but this was their decision. We'll most likely only have to be LD for an extra four maybe five months, with probably a visit in between, and if this is what they think is best, and my boyfriend and I discussed and agreed that it is probably for the best, then that is what we have to do.

[Yaaamiii]

Congrats on being so mature about it! At least you guys are doing what you feel is best and not making either set of parents mad along the way. That will work in your favor in the future lol. Best of luck, 4-5 months will go by super quick .