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    #1

    Is this a valid complaint?

    Am I just complainting when I say it bothers me that I only get 2-3 messages a day from my SO? And thats not just for a few days but for a longer period of time... With that there is no skype, no calling, no nothing. Just small 2-sentence messages about how his day was and what my plans are for the evening and goodnight usually.

    Also in the weekends I hear practically nothing. Since he goes to the pub he gets out of bed around 2 pm ish (which is 3 pm in my country) and then its time for breakfast and playstation or something. So I still dont hear a lot from him.

    He does work during the week but he is able to reply to (unimportant messages from) facebook friends on his timeline while I might get a reply around 7ish in the evening He says work is busy but I see he has time to read the messages I send rather quickly. Also I am sure his boss gives him a lunch break or something so in my opinion he can just send a little quick 'hi'

    I always thought LDR took more effort than CD relationships. To try to feel and stay connected to one another
    Someone give me some advice as to whether I should talk to him about this or just suck it up!
    Smile every once in a while =)
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    #2
    I think you should talk to him about it and ask him what's up with that. 2-3 messages a day is not much :/ If he's able to reply to his friends on FB he should be able to reply to your messages during work.. That's not right or fair to you at all.

    I hope you guys can work this out. Good luck!

    Comment

      #3
      You should definitely talk to him. I had the same problem with my boyfriend and after what i told him how i feel when he doesn´t reply on my messages or when he just doesnt´t communicate with me, he changed and is trying to let me know every now and then about how his day was and is interested in my days Good luck

      Comment

        #4
        Talk to him. If you're unhappy with your communication level, you should speak up. You're only doing your relationship a disservice if you don't.



        Met online: 1/30/11
        Met in person: 5/30/12
        Second visit: 9/12/12
        Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!!

        Comment

          #5
          unless you talk to him about it, and be very clear in what you say (men tend to hear what they want if it isnt interesting to them). If he doesnt know you arent happy with the level of communicaton things will never change. yes, people can be oblivious to the fact that they are communicating very little.
          We went thru this a bit ago. My So is VERY busy with school, a ft job and a pt job. I understand he has little time to talk. This fall my son got very involved in baseball, like everyday involved. It took my mind off the lack of communication and I was leaving my phone in the car. All of a sudden he noticed I wasnt sitting on the phone and replying to his messages as soon as he sent them, and that i wasnt sending as many messages it hit him and he understood. I wasnt playing games, just got busy. But he didnt understand how it felt to get few messages until it happened to him.
          everything happens for a reason. We may never find out what that reason is/was, but there is a reason.

          Comment

            #6
            For sure talk to him. He won't know unless you do. Best of luck!

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              #7
              This happens to me quite often when my SO gets really busy with work. I've discovered the best thing to do is to say to him "You've been really quiet and I've hardly heard anything from you. I don't like it much." He then knows how I feel, and makes the effort, things get better. No games required.
              London girl, American cowboy. "Like a western Dirty Dancing."

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                #8
                I agree with the others that you should talk to him and make sure he is aware of how you are feeling so that he can try and change. 2 to 3 messages per few days is not much at all. Maybe for a temporary period when he is really busy, but if it's going on permanently, I personally think he really should try harder to send more messages, and communicate more often. Hopefully one day even include a skype call every now and then at least.. because those little things really help LDRs not feel as much like LDRs and more like a normal relationship that's lacking the physical closeness aspect temporarily. Good luck.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Yes i think that isn't enough communication. Not everyone is the same but when you are unable to be together in person phone and text communication is the only way to be close and imo that isn't enought communication.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I think LDRs do take more effort, so I agree with you on this! If so few messages are not cutting it for you then let him know! It's very much a valid complaint and maybe you can find a compromise together! Good luck!

                    Relationship began: 05/22/2012
                    First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
                    Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
                    Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
                    Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
                    Married: 1/24/2015
                    Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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                      #11
                      in LDR communication is like 90,if not 95% while in erm,"normal" (lol) relationship you also have all this hugging,cuddling,sex and time togeteher.so i definetely think you have to speak to him about that and simply explain that you would feel more confident,happy and comfortable with communication increase

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Originally posted by sweetdevil View Post
                        Am I just complainting when I say it bothers me that I only get 2-3 messages a day from my SO? And thats not just for a few days but for a longer period of time... With that there is no skype, no calling, no nothing. Just small 2-sentence messages about how his day was and what my plans are for the evening and goodnight usually.

                        Also in the weekends I hear practically nothing. Since he goes to the pub he gets out of bed around 2 pm ish (which is 3 pm in my country) and then its time for breakfast and playstation or something. So I still dont hear a lot from him.

                        He does work during the week but he is able to reply to (unimportant messages from) facebook friends on his timeline while I might get a reply around 7ish in the evening He says work is busy but I see he has time to read the messages I send rather quickly. Also I am sure his boss gives him a lunch break or something so in my opinion he can just send a little quick 'hi'

                        I always thought LDR took more effort than CD relationships. To try to feel and stay connected to one another
                        Someone give me some advice as to whether I should talk to him about this or just suck it up!
                        Same situation here, I just spoke to him about this today (lol). After we spoke, he realized that he wasn't putting as much effort as he should, and accepted that he was wrong. The main point here is to have a relax talk, without games, no fighting, just two grown ups chating (I recommend skype here, no phone calls)
                        Wish you the best of luck, I think everything will be just fine

                        Comment

                          #13
                          I spoke to him about it saying it left me feeling unhappy but the discussion has caused him to even reply less because was not something fun to talk about... :/
                          Smile every once in a while =)

                          Comment

                            #14
                            when did you talk? Give it some time to sink in on his end. Then you will need to decide if it is worth hanging on to.
                            everything happens for a reason. We may never find out what that reason is/was, but there is a reason.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Originally posted by sweetdevil View Post
                              I spoke to him about it saying it left me feeling unhappy but the discussion has caused him to even reply less because was not something fun to talk about... :/
                              thats not too good when a partner does not listen to what bothers another person.i'd start considering

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