My boyfriend is the sweetest nicest guy I know but he's suddenly convinced that I (maybe romantically) love an old friend like I love him.
I've known this friend for 5 years, he's from the same country as me but we've never met. We used to talk a lot, he's a fun guy and we've had nice casual conversations over the internet. He has never flirted with me, at least I havent noticed it. In the past few years we have grown apart and now we rarely talk, some twitter replies and a few facebook messages here and there. I still consider him a friend of mine.
When I first met my bf a bit over a year ago (we've been dating for 8 months) and we were getting to know each other I told him about this friend and I also said that I love the guy (strictly as a friend, he's like an older brother to me). Thought it was no biggie, I can love my parents, friends, pets, whoever; bf seems to view it differently, something like you can only truly love one person at a time. I see it more as big loves and small loves but hey maybe I'm just abusing the word.
We also talked about it 1-2 months ago when I probably too hastily said I love my friend platonically. English is not my first language and I assumed it was kind of like brotherly love as it's what the word means in my native tongue. Turns out it's something bigger and deeper and like a relationship. I admit it, I fucked up, and he won't let it go. When I talk to this friend my bf calls him my future bf or my lover and it makes me feel terrible. When I tell bf I love him I mean it in a complete way: I trust him, I want him, he's my best friend and the most important person to me. The word to describe how I feel towards any of my friends, male or female, is also love but it's not the same type of love that I feel for him. He seems to be bothered by the fact that I once said that I love another guy and I want him to stop worrying and seeing him as a threat.
How can I convince him that HE is (still) the man I want? Should I sacrifice my friendship for the sake of my relationship? Any advice for dealing with this situation?
I've known this friend for 5 years, he's from the same country as me but we've never met. We used to talk a lot, he's a fun guy and we've had nice casual conversations over the internet. He has never flirted with me, at least I havent noticed it. In the past few years we have grown apart and now we rarely talk, some twitter replies and a few facebook messages here and there. I still consider him a friend of mine.
When I first met my bf a bit over a year ago (we've been dating for 8 months) and we were getting to know each other I told him about this friend and I also said that I love the guy (strictly as a friend, he's like an older brother to me). Thought it was no biggie, I can love my parents, friends, pets, whoever; bf seems to view it differently, something like you can only truly love one person at a time. I see it more as big loves and small loves but hey maybe I'm just abusing the word.
We also talked about it 1-2 months ago when I probably too hastily said I love my friend platonically. English is not my first language and I assumed it was kind of like brotherly love as it's what the word means in my native tongue. Turns out it's something bigger and deeper and like a relationship. I admit it, I fucked up, and he won't let it go. When I talk to this friend my bf calls him my future bf or my lover and it makes me feel terrible. When I tell bf I love him I mean it in a complete way: I trust him, I want him, he's my best friend and the most important person to me. The word to describe how I feel towards any of my friends, male or female, is also love but it's not the same type of love that I feel for him. He seems to be bothered by the fact that I once said that I love another guy and I want him to stop worrying and seeing him as a threat.
How can I convince him that HE is (still) the man I want? Should I sacrifice my friendship for the sake of my relationship? Any advice for dealing with this situation?
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