"Marriage Isn’t For You"

[Black_Halloween]

I'm sure most of you have read this article already since its gone viral but I wanted to share it anyway.

https://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02...-isnt-for-you/

I love this article and i'm annoyed about how people are blowing it out of proportion, saying how "Women don't need to tend to a man's needs" and whatnot but that's not what this article is implying. We live in a society were we all think about ourselves first but love is more than that. Love is about putting somebody else's needs first. Love is selfless and I think a lot of us forget that. We forget how hard our SOs work for us because we get so wrapped up in our own needs.

[srtd35]

I like the idea of the article and I agree. I think the hard part comes if you are constantly putting the other person's needs before your own and you aren't get the same respect in turn. Being married shouldn't make you unhappy but I agree you have to do your part to make a marriage happy.

[Ahava]

Wow! Great article. This was truly a refreshing read!

[Karlijn92]

Ha, my sister-in-law posted it on FB last night! I love the story and I totally agree with it. I think it's silly when people think love and marriage is about themselves.. That's not how it works.
Later I noticed my fiance commented on it saying, "So true! I'm glad that's how I feel about KK." (KK is my nickname btw..hehe)

[TwoThree]

Meh. Read it this morning and while I agree that it all comes from a good sentiment, I couldn't help but cringe at how preachy it was.

Dude, you're been married for 1.5 years. Get back to me with your all-knowing wisdom after you've been married 15 years.

[lyonsgirl]

Dude, you're been married for 1.5 years. Get back to me with your all-knowing wisdom after you've been married 15 years.

Please, don't you know that my husband and I have solved all the problems of the world and have the best marriage EVER? I mean, come on. We're totally the experts in marriage, here.

[Black_Halloween]

If you even read it, the advice cane from his father and it was about him learning this fact. Dont try to twist it into something negative.

[Yaaamiii]

I shared this on facebook the other day. I totally agree, and I think that whether the advice comes from someone who's been married 4 months or someone who has been married 10, it applies just the same :P.

[80anthea]

I'm not sure why the advice is specific to marriage, surely it should be sound advice for ANY relationship?

[Tooki]

Meh. Read it this morning and while I agree that it all comes from a good sentiment, I couldn't help but cringe at how preachy it was.

Dude, you're been married for 1.5 years. Get back to me with your all-knowing wisdom after you've been married 15 years.

Yes, the author does preach but the article speaks well in contrast to the 'me-first' mentality that is prevalent in the Anglophone world. He did get the motivation for this article from his father so I'm not sure what else he can do.

*What he says isn't particularly ground-breaking but the context that he speaks from tells a deeper story.*

[Irina_Linn]

its good that the guy shared it and whatever,but nothing moving for me.i really feel anyone here can write 10 inspiring articles how to keep love in the relationship going on.he does not speak about anything shocking.for me its actually a surprise that an idea of not being selfish shocked him in such a way

[Black_Halloween]

Irina, i think its more about people getting so caught up in themselves that they dont notice the little things that thier SO does for them. It happens more often than you think.

[Dziubka]

its good that the guy shared it and whatever,but nothing moving for me.i really feel anyone here can write 10 inspiring articles how to keep love in the relationship going on.he does not speak about anything shocking.for me its actually a surprise that an idea of not being selfish shocked him in such a way

My thoughts exactly.

I read it and was like "So... in a committed relationship, you should love and support your partner? What a revelation! "

[differentcountries]

My thoughts exactly.

I read it and was like "So... in a committed relationship, you should love and support your partner? What a revelation! "

I see your point, and I must admit I felt a little like that too. Still, I think the point here is not just love, but that feeling of exess. Of course, that is a thing to be thrilled about when it comes to a new love and sounds perhaps a little daft for the more experienced love, where usually there have been a few more ups and downs and words that should never have been said and misunderstandings that hurt and all of that.

[lyonsgirl]

Here's an article to counter the original post: https://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/why...201042173.html

Note: This isn't me saying I disagree with the original essay, I just found this side of it interesting - especially as the sole provider for our new little family.