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did anyone judge you when you told them you were in a LDR?

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    did anyone judge you when you told them you were in a LDR?

    my ex best friend would say its not going to work! you guys are not going to have anything to talk about after disney (me and him met at disney while we were working there) she kept telling me the magic was going to die ... she said i can find "a way better and hotter guy in NY" i was SO mad i was pretty much done with her after that lol.
    6 months later me an him are going stronger then ever and though our distance sucks at times we make it work and i woulnt trade him for anyone

    #2
    Oh god yes all the time. Especially by "adults" your still young in my book. But seriously they have nothing to do with your relationship with him only you know if he is worth the distances. I know my SO is!

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      #3
      I haven't felt super judged. At first, I didn't tell anyone. Just my family and a close friend. This is the first serious relationship for me and my SO and we both had lots to figure out. Stuff we're still figuring out.

      My SO comes up a lot in my conversation at work and sometimes at school. I don't share all my business but if it comes up, I answer any question I feel comfortable with. People that judge it don't understand it. Before I started dating my SO, I never had experience with long distance relationships. As more people know about my relationship, I've had people say it's not that hard because he's not in the military. That always bothers me. I totally get that having a SO overseas would be super tough and I commend girls who do that. But it's hard no matter what. I get lots of positive comments. Supportive. That always makes me feel good.
      My grandfather told me to find a boyfriend closer. They're very old fashioned. I don't really take what they say anyway. I'm happy, my SO is happy and our families are happy. That's all we want. <3
      This month we'll hit the 7 month mark! We're closer than ever. <3 He's my best friend and my other half. I couldn't do what I do without him. No amount of distance is going to change that. It makes it much harder, but we all know it's worth it. <3



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        #4
        All the time, unfortunately :/
        Every once in awhile it gets to me, but then I remember that it doesn't matter what other people think! I know my SO loves me and wants to be with me. We have been going strong for nearly two years now, and I don't see that changing anytime in soon
        As hard as it can be, don't listen to the naysayers. You and your SO are the only ones that truly know your relationship

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          #5
          Not really. I had a coworker make an off hand comment about me being akin to a mail order bride once, but we talked crap to each other all the time so I wasn't bothered.

          I think most people in my life could tell I was happy, and that's all they really cared about.



          Met online: 1/30/11
          Met in person: 5/30/12
          Second visit: 9/12/12
          Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!!

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            #6
            Probably. People judge each other all the time. But I never make other people's opinions my problem
            Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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              #7
              Yes, most people don't get it because of various reasons ... but I love her ... and I really don't care what anyone thinks. Whether its real life people or people online, they don't know us and how we make each other feel and I don't care to hear someones opinions and judgements on my feelings. I own them, they are mine ... whether right or wrong. I may have made mistakes in my life but I wont turn my back on my true feelings for her just because someone else feels its wrong. You only live once and you may only find someone you really connect to once in your lifetime and most people never do. I found someone I really love and who really loves me and I won't turn my back on that just because others don't like it.

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                #8
                No, I haven't really gotten any negative comments which I'm surprised about. Of course many people like to joke about it, especially some of my older relatives: "Oh, you didn't find a boyfriend here so you had to go fishing in another sea". oookaay, I don't find that as funny!!

                I've gotten a lot of sympathy from some people, especially my best friends, and even though they have never been in LDRs they try to understand how I'm feeling.

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                  #9
                  Not really, luckily. I get a lot of "so are you going to move away now then?" from people my parents' age and up, almost every week at work. I work in the local shop and the community is rather tight, so any change is a rather big one...

                  From people my age I've gotten a few "how do you know he's not cheating on you?" and "isn't it hard to trust he's faithful?", but it's not too hard to wave off with something along the lines of "I know him and I trust him". I got upset the first couple times but it's really not worth it.

                  I have heard a lot of "isn't it hard never seeing each other" and way more pity than I should get Usually I just say you get used to it and it's worth it. Most people my age who have been in a relationship for a while either met at uni or were together before so usually they are in LDR at some point, it's the fact that he's in another country that freaks them out a little
                  We part only to meet again ~ J.Gay

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                    #10
                    No, not really. I think my SO's family (not a super-functional one btw) is not happy about me moving away, but he kept me away from them for the month before I left because he knew I would get crap from them and he also knew I was very emotional already. Other than that, people have been really supportive and understanding, and I met some people in my new workplace that I got a little closer to because they have also been in LDR. Then again, I've been actively ridding my life of toxic people in the past year or two

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                      #11
                      Yes, but not too bad. Some people just don't understand how I could feel so strongly for someone in a different country who I haven't met in person, and how I could possibly stay dedicated to it. Which, from their point of view, I can get their confusion.

                      But, they don't have to understand it. It isn't their life; it's mine. And his.

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                        #12
                        I still get judged.

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                          #13
                          My two closest friends gave me such a headache at the beginning, partly because this was my first relationship and partly because long distance is hard to understand. Lots of "how can you really be sure?", "what if someone catches your attention close-by?", "how does getting intimate on cam work?...." . It's been over three years, so those questions have stopped. New friends are a little surprised, but once they find out how long we've been doing it and how dedicated we are to visits, it's not an issue.

                          Married: June 9th, 2015

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                            #14
                            Ohhh yeah. I was told plenty of times that LDRs are pointless, that people ALWAYS cheat in LDRs, this, that, and the other. Well HA. HA. HA. Four years later we're happily engaged and set to be wed next December. It CAN work, and frequently does.



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                              #15
                              thats nice that you guys didnt get judged

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