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    Misunderstanding..

    Me and my SO have a very usual problem that I really want to overcome, misunderstanding. There are times while we are talking she suddenly gets mad or pissed off due to something I don't know. It always comes from what I said during our conversation even though I never have any intention to make her angry in the first place. I always thought what I'm saying is normal or just want to please her but it doesn't look the same when it comes to her. It was like she gets my message in the wrong way. I just realize something off on her when her message suddenly gets cold or she stopped replying. Even when I confront her and tell about it, she does admit she's mad but doesn't tell the reason. There are times she does tell but only after a few days.. Most of those misunderstanding are getting brushed off after a few hours or days and then we're fine again. but i really don't like that it always occurs again and again. I was worried that it was building up and one day might be the reason we would broke up.
    Please give advice how we could stop this or maybe make it not so frequent.

    #2
    I assume you have brought it up to her already?
    She acts like a child and well, in that case if talking doesn't work, I'd give her some of her own medicine. Stop running after her when she is in a mood. Just don't contact her either and wait until she comes to you. By doing that, you send the message that you don't tolerate this kind of behavior. I would send her a text though first saying what you are doing and why you are doing it.
    Good luck.

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      #3
      I think shes playing games with you to test how far she can push it, i also agree with the poster above me. Tell her that youre not putting up with her attitude anymore and ignore her when shes in a mood.
      Made it official: 12-01-10
      First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
      Closed the distance: 07-31-13

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        #4
        Me and my SO have it all the time over text-based communication, we just seem to have different writing/texting styles.
        So we decided to only use text-based stuff to plan Skype sessions and for very casual conversation. This works a lot better for us

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          #5
          My SO and I miscommunicate A LOT over text. We automattically assume the other person is being pissy or rude, when in fact, we are not. We have learned to only have serious conversations thru phone so that we can hear each others voices, we also tend to be more relaxed when we are on the phone.

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            #6
            hah! We made the rule (AGAIN) to not have long conversations in text because that only leads to misunderstandings and frustrations. It is so much easier to just brush it off, or get it right, when you hear the voice or/and can see their face and the cute ways they move! Phone call is good, Skype or similar even better.
            I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
            - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



            "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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              #7
              Holding off on serious conversations until you can talk is a great idea, but sometimes the serious conversations come up when you don't want them to.

              I agree with Kiyama about waiting these out, though not to give her a taste of her own medicine. If she's back to normal after a few hours, it might be best to wait it out.

              I've found that the only real way to stop the build up of resentment is through communication, but that's a two-way street. She has to understand this if she wants this to keep moving forward

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                #8
                All above is very good advice, one thing that hasn't been mentioned is that it could be a cultural/language barrier, are you both born and raised in the Philippines?

                She doesn't sound like the most patient person out there, without patience it will be very hard to stay in a LDR and she most likely has a very short temper. If you do want to work things out you need to get used to the idea and not let it affect you too much, and yes, please do stop chasing her, this is encouraging her behavior.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by Lucky View Post
                  All above is very good advice, one thing that hasn't been mentioned is that it could be a cultural/language barrier, are you both born and raised in the Philippines?

                  She doesn't sound like the most patient person out there, without patience it will be very hard to stay in a LDR and she most likely has a very short temper. If you do want to work things out you need to get used to the idea and not let it affect you too much, and yes, please do stop chasing her, this is encouraging her behavior.
                  yeah. we are both from the philippines

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