Confusion about my SO

[differentcountries]

Sometimes text messages get lost, due to crappy phones or lines or whaterver. Lots of technical things can happen. But if he was really into you, he would fix that, or mail you instead, or do whatever to get in contact with you, ESPECIALLY since there obviously has been some lost communication. If ALL his electronic communication broke down, he could even send you a snail mail letter. Maybe he is too busy, maybe he is not that into you, either way he is not giving what it takes.

I would not bother with him if I were you.

[mikesgal2013]

we haven't exchanged home addresses so a letter wouldn't work anyways.

[differentcountries]

we haven't exchanged home addresses so a letter wouldn't work anyways.

If he knows your name it is possible to find out where you live https://www.whitepages.com/

[silvermoonfairy3]

I agree with everyone who's saying move on. It sounds like this isn't meant to be.

[Lucky]

While it's true that if a guy it's interested enough he will find a way, even a guy who is interested in nothing more than friendship should have the decency to let you know how often he can talk, it should come up in the conversation if he is having a busy week. For example he is going out of town for a couple of days due work, so he let's you know in advance that he might not have the time to talk but will contact you when he gets back.

Ignoring your questions is plain rude...

[mikesgal2013]

Duh me. That is true. I did find his address. I also found some of his family on facebook. They aren't adding me though. He used to have Facebook but not anymore be of drama.

I am not going to give up on him just yet. I'll give him more time and a chance. I love him and that's the most important thing. Even if it is 1 text a week, that would make me happy. I am a fighter and I will fight for him until my last breath. I will stop texting him for a few days and see if he comes back to me. I didn't text him today

[mikesgal2013]

I kind of agree with Lucky in a way.

[silvermoonfairy3]

Duh me. That is true. I did find his address.

If he didn't give you his address himself, please don't write him a letter or show up or anything. It will likely freak him out because it could seem a little stalkerish.

Even if it is 1 text a week, that would make me happy. I am a fighter and I will fight for him until my last breath. I will stop texting him for a few days and see if he comes back to me. I didn't text him today[/QUOTE]

Ask yourself, would you be happy longterm with 1 text a week? Do you think you deserve a guy who doesn't really put effort in for you?

Fighting for love is all well and good, but you may want to think long and hard about whether this guy and this situation is the particular thing you want to fight for. It doesn't sound like he's treating you with respect, or as an equal.

Just my opinion. Good luck!

[itsjen516]

Has he said anything yet ?
I feel you can do better though I don't want to be rude :-/ I just feel bad

[rubydissolution]

So, what exactly are you fighting for here? I could understand fighting for a relationship that's been going on for years, but you have been dating almost 3 months. It's not worth the time and effort this early on. Ask anyone on this website the first couple months you are supposed to be all into each other not fighting to get email and text responses. If he were into you he would make every effort to contact you and he's not. It's kind of obvious that he jumped the gun asking you out, realized either he's not interested or that he's too busy for a girlfriend. Also...you've been dating for a few months and you are trying to friend his family on facebook??? Those are red flags on his end. You shouldn't hunt down his friends and family on FB. If they have an interest they will find and friend you. Move on, find someone new.

[mikesgal2013]

I wasn't friending his family on facebook. I just saw them on there.

UPDATE: He got a new number and said he was going to email me. Sad thing is he just wants to be friends and decided that way before Halloween. He said he thinks I went way too fast for him. I asked if we could see just slow down some. But he didn't like that idea. Yes, I am heartbroken and hurt and I do cry at times. He knows I'm hurt and that I'm still in love with him I am glad I didn't lose him completely. At the same time I am lost. I don't see how I was too fast. When I fall in love, I don't wait to tell him.
By the way, we've only dated for a month and a half. Not 2 or 3 months.

[LadyDaemon]

Not waiting to tell him certain things is also probably why he thinks it was too fast. There's a time for everything and when it comes to developing relationships,timing is important. I had a ex girlfriend who told me she loved me after 2 weeks and I got freaked out because while she was there already,I wasn't. I pulled away from her and slowly started to back off because her feelings for me with it being so early on were entirely too intense for me and I felt it was way to early to be pulling the 'I'm so in love with you' card. It caused fights between us because I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I wasn't kosher with the way things were until it finally blew up and I told her how I really felt and then we wound up breaking up. I'm sorry things went the way they did for you,but I would just back off and deal with your end of things and let him deal with his.

[differentcountries]

I wasn't friending his family on facebook. I just saw them on there.

UPDATE: He got a new number and said he was going to email me. Sad thing is he just wants to be friends and decided that way before Halloween. He said he thinks I went way too fast for him. I asked if we could see just slow down some. But he didn't like that idea. Yes, I am heartbroken and hurt and I do cry at times. He knows I'm hurt and that I'm still in love with him I am glad I didn't lose him completely. At the same time I am lost. I don't see how I was too fast. When I fall in love, I don't wait to tell him.
By the way, we've only dated for a month and a half. Not 2 or 3 months.

Glad you got your answer. Speed is relative on the people involved! When my SO told me big words early on, it did not scare me because I felt the same way. Sometimes hearts don't beat together. Maybe you should take some time off him since this relation is not friendship on your part.

[Fretboard_Magic]

First off, I'm sorry the relationship didn't work out. But it's good that you guys are still friends.

Now, I personally think that you two just weren't compatible with each other in a romantic sense, and that was probably why there was a difference in terms of how he felt about the relationship versus how you felt about it. You may have taken things a little too fast(I'd say it's debatable), but then I believe it also depends on what kind of person the other party is, too. As in, whether or not you two mesh well by default type thing. I've been in situations where I fell in love with someone soon after meeting them myself, and what I've noticed is that the compatibility(or you could also say "chemistry") level, besides communication of course, is the key thing when it comes to making a relationship work.

Something about patience: very important aspect indeed, but some people mistake this for some kind of "game tactic", if you will. It's like they are saying, "you have to wait such and such period of time before you say this or that, or else your partner will react in this type of way or that way"...but in reality, you just can't generalize human behaviours in such a clear-cut fashion. What may help you get a better understanding in terms of when to say, or not to say, what...is communication. Hands down, in my opinion. Communication is what really helps you determine whether or not you and the other person are compatible, and in what sort of way you two are.

Having said all that, patience IS important. However, I think that a part of feeling secure about your relationship means patience is also a natural part of it for the most part. There are many things in life that may override your patience, but such disturbances/challenges are much more easily overcome when that particular sense of security is there on a core level. Whether or not something like that can be achieved over the duration of a month and a half depends on each couple as far as I'm concerned(and it seems Differentcountries is with me on this one).

So, as much as I believe it's a tough situation for anyone to be in(and believe me, I've been there myself), I say you two just weren't meant to be in the first place. Like I said, I believe it had more to do with the compatibility aspect than anything else. In that sense, it was actually good that things ended up the way they did only after a month and a half, rather than a year and a half or five years, or something.

All the best.

[mikesgal2013]

We did mesh and was compatible with each other. Yes, maybe 4 days was too soon for me to tell him that I was falling in love with him. He told me he loved me and missed me. I just don't get why he changed his mind. In my heart, he is still the one for me. I think he needs more time to figure things out.