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    Bad management

    This is kind of long, I'm sorry, but it's a difficult situation. If you can take the time to read and you have any suggestions, I'll be so grateful.

    My SO lives on the property where he works. The business owners also live on the property. He lives in their trailer, and the original deal was that he could live there rent free, the trailer's utilities would be paid by the owners, and he would work for them 40 hours per month. He was also due to receive some payment each month, I think it was around $200.

    The owners made increasing demands on him to work more. They have several renovation projects going on around the property, none of which have been finished before new projects are started. My SO is expected to work on these projects, alongside his usual chores, as well as the work he does independently of them. To the best of his ability, he did this. He worked far in excess of his 40 hours per month, often being the only person on the property over weekends when the owners were away, and picking up the slack when other helpers (volunteers) didn't show up.

    The owners claimed he was doing his job "wrong". I'm not sure how wrong you can go with cleaning horse stalls and ensuring the animals have food, but I'm sure my SO knows what he's doing. He's been doing this kind of work for years. The owners then suggested that he should get rid of his dog, because they thought there was dog poo everywhere - they have three dogs that defecate anywhere they please, including inside the house, but my SO's dog usually does his business as far from the house as possible. They used to feed my SO's dog so he would come and sit on their porch, and on one occasion, the dog did what all the other dogs were doing and took a dump on their front step. Their response was to pick up the turd, and put it on the front step of the trailer.

    The propane for the trailer ran out last week. My SO has been keeping track of his hours that he's been working, and told the owners that he was out of propane. It's now getting down to below freezing at night, and they worry that the horses are getting cold at night. They refuse to buy more propane for the trailer until the 1st of December, when he'll turn in his hours. Until then, he is sleeping in the freezing cold with no heat, no means to cook for himself, and no money.

    He told me this morning that he is ok, and I shouldn't worry, but it makes me so angry to think of these people denying him such basic things as heat and the means to make food, because they have some sort of grudge against him (which nobody can explain, it's just an unspoken mood as far as I can tell). They don't seem to understand how much work he puts in for such little reward, and he feels more and more as if they are trying to make him leave. He currently has nowhere else to go, and doesn't have the money to get his own place. He also needs their facilities to run his business.

    I really want to say something to the owners - when I first came out to visit they would invite us for supper, take us out, and we got on really well. I classed them amongst our friends. Since I've come home from my second trip this summer, things have become worse and worse. I took on running their company website in exchange for board for my horse at their place, and they still implied that I owed them the full amount of money.

    I'm mostly outraged by the propane issue. How is it ok for them to be concerned for the horses but allow a human being to shiver all night with no heat, and expect him to be happy to get up and go to work in the morning when he can't even make a cup of tea or coffee? How is it ok that they are warm and comfortable up in the house but he is wrapped up in every blanket he can find?

    My SO has no written contract with them, and he's not an official employee in any sense, so it doesn't look like he has any rights. I want to say something to them, but I'm worried I will make the situation for him worse. I have no idea how to deal with this problem. There isn't really anywhere else that he could go to work, locally, and because he has been working for trade, he doesn't have a lot of money available. I can't afford to help him get away from the place, but they're treating him so badly. I don't know if the best thing to do is just support him as best as I can and keep my nose out of the dispute itself, or if I should get involved and take on the battle with him.

    Any suggestions?
    London girl, American cowboy. "Like a western Dirty Dancing."

    #2
    How is he living on only $200 a month? Anyway, he should try to find other work.
    Made it official: 12-01-10
    First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
    Closed the distance: 07-31-13

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      #3
      I agree with you that it's really not OK, but because he doesn't have any contract with them, there is really not much he can do about that.
      You say he needs their facilities to run his business. Doesn't he have some income from this business? Do the owners owe him some payment? Doesn't he have some friend or relative he can stay with, or who can borrow him some money? How long do you think it would take for him to find another job in his area?

      Comment


        #4
        Unfortunately, this is not ucommon in the horse world. been there, done that. Working in exchange for a place to live, especially with no contract, is always a bad idea. people start out with the best of intentions and often as time goes on, they feel they are owed more.
        You need to stay out of it. it is his word against theirs and you are seeing it from his side (which may be true, but may not be how they see it). And if you step in they may tell him to leave on the spot.
        he needs to sit down with them and ask that a contract be written up for what he is expected to do and in exchange exactly what and when he gets the benefits. He needs a timeline in place that it needs to be done by and if it is not, then he needs to have someplace else to go. These people will keep pushing and demanding until he either leaves or stands up for himself. He can be easily replaced.
        everything happens for a reason. We may never find out what that reason is/was, but there is a reason.

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          #5
          Ugh, I've been telling him for months that he needs to have something in writing with them, and they've never been able to get it organised. I feel like they are trying to push him out so that they don't seem like the bad guys, they'll be able to say that he left them and that he was the bad guy.

          I got really upset about it tonight and ended up snapping at my SO, who wants me to calm down. It is so hard to sit back and act like nothing is wrong when people are treating him like this - and they're getting away with it. We don't deprive criminals of such a basic thing as heating, I just can't understand how they sleep at night knowing that he is out in the cold. It's disgusting.
          London girl, American cowboy. "Like a western Dirty Dancing."

          Comment


            #6
            The only thing I can really tell you is to tell him to seek legal advice. In some states even what is considered a 'oral contract' will stand in court. Which is what it sounds like they had. So look into that. Good luck.

            ♥ In 666 Ways I Love You & My Heaven Is Wherever You Are. I'm For You. ♥

            We Met: June 9,2010
            Back Together: August 1,2012
            First Visit: September 21,2012 - September 29,2012
            Second Visit: January 13,2013 - February 24,2013
            Engaged: January 17,2013
            Closed The Distance-MS - AZ: June 15th,2013
            Moved To FL Together: November 14,2013
            We Got Married! - July 3,2014
            SO Graduated College - August 7,2015
            Moved to Ky - August 10, 2015

            Comment


              #7
              It may be an unfair deal, but the major points (like him working a lot, they for some reson resenting him etc.) I don't see what can be done with. If they have no contract, it also means he can leave at any time, which may be just as well (if he has some money saved up). They should keep him warm, there I agree with you. That should be non-negotiable.
              I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
              - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



              "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

              Comment


                #8
                First and foremost, you need to get your boyfriend to get the terms of his employment written down. He needs confirmation of the employment agreement to prove that there has been a breach within his employment contract. He’s currently in a position where he has no proof of what was said in the original agreement and therefore it’ll be kind of hard to prove… anything.

                If there is no contract and the owners are not willing to agree to terms in a contract then your boyfriend should leave.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Did I read it right? $200 a month? That's inhuman. I live in a third world country and $200 is below our minimum wage. He should go work for somewhere else, he deserves so much more.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I honestly don't think that 200 dollars a month is THAT inhuman, considering he only support himself and he doesn't have to pay any rent, plus he maybe has extra incpme from his business? I don't live in third world country, but when my father lost his job, our family (6 members) had to made it through with no more than 500 dollars.
                    Anyway, he really should discuss this topic with them and demand some written contract. I also like LadyDaemon's idea, doesn't he have some friend or relative that is fluent in law topics? Or there should be some institutions for people in need that offer free law advices, look them up.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by chizatlauren View Post
                      Did I read it right? $200 a month? That's inhuman. I live in a third world country and $200 is below our minimum wage. He should go work for somewhere else, he deserves so much more.
                      $200/month as a stipend when coupled with free rent and utilities isn't a bad deal at all for working 40 hours a month. It's not even 2 hours of work per day for having basically no living expenses, and plenty of time to have another job.

                      Often, people in apartment complexes here will be 'supervisors' or superintendents who attend to the apartments for the landlord. They get free or reduced rent and a very small stipend, and work a regular job. It's seen as a very desireable position by a lot of people.

                      But not having a clear contract is a big mistake, and he should change that immediately. If they won't sign on, time to move on.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Thanks, all, for your suggestions. It turns out that things came to a head yesterday and he reached the end of his extremely long rope, and he has quit. It is actually wonderful to hear how much happier he sounds straight away, and he is lucky enough that we have some good friends who are helping him out for a while until he can find somewhere else to live. He will get our horse stabled somewhere else, and he's planning to get a "regular" job in the new year that might enable him to save some money up whilst still shoeing and training horses at evenings and weekends.

                        Hopefully everything will work out well for us. I didn't like the notion of him staying there when he was so unhappy, but I couldn't see an alternative. Keep your fingers crossed for us that the right thing will come up for him soon!
                        London girl, American cowboy. "Like a western Dirty Dancing."

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