FB

[moondust]

He won't add me over his fb account. We've been in this long distance relationship for 3 years now. I deactivated my fb in order for me not to get tempted in viewing his profile... I am just trying to figure out how to make things out of it, to just let it by, or I don't know... as everyday he tries to spend time with me and having conversation anyway.

It bothers me at some level but he won't discuss matters to me as such, he ignores it as though it does not matter.

[kayla_622]

Have you two met in person?

What is his reason for not wanting to adding you?

You've been in this relationship for 3 years and if you haven't met in person and he's not giving you a valid reason for not wanting to add you to his fb then something might be up. Not saying there is for sure.

[Deleted]

I find this extremely odd. Have you asked him why? If it bothers you, you really should ask about it--considering the fact that you have been together for quite some time, you have the absolute right to confront him about it. Be open about your needs.

[sarahjane1992]

I second what Kayla_622 said. Has he given you a reason why he won't add you? That would be a red flag to me. My SO isn't a huge Facebook user but we added each other after we started talking and made it FB official soon after. We met in person around a month later.
Being together so long it doesn't make any sense to me. There's no logical reason (at least to me) why he shouldn't add you.
He needs to man up and be honest. If you're voicing your opinion and he's acting like it doesn't matter, something isn't right.

[moondust]

Hi Kayla, thanks for the reply. Yes we have met in person, my SO has this high level of privacy and I respect that, that's why I try to understand him every step of the way.

I don't think there's anything or anyone going on with his fb.. I guess am hurt in ways how it feels like we are not on that level of relationship where he is open to me as how I am to him, that after all this years. *sigh*

I am happy and very much attached with him, its just sometimes you want those little things that normal couples have, not to mention how unconventional things already are with the distance so yeah.. At times I don't know if am making an issue out of nothing, that fb is such a shallow deal to measure ones relationship, its just yeah. It hurts.

[moondust]

Thank you guys, yeah he just said long before that he's not that very active on it and whenever I somehow brings it up I dont know he just keep ignoring it. And I just end up feeling shallow for trying to insist about it so I just dropped it. I am still at phase where am trying to figure out how to deal on it.

[moondust]

I really thought am over it, coz I value my own privacy too.. I guess it started again, as I saw his profile recently and he changed this primary picture of him with his friends.. It was on public he did not ntoice it I guess. And yeah and there are couple of people that like and comment on it. And upon looking so, there are people who he just recently added and it hurts how yeah, am quite internet savvy though nevertheless I feel like a stalker of sort which is not entirely a good feeling. As I said decide to deactivate my fb and I guess think through things.

[Mims27]

This seems fishy to me...
I would understand if the relationship was still new and you were still getting to know each other but you have been together 3 years. Does his friends or family know about you? Seems like he has something to hide...

[sarahjane1992]

This seems fishy to me...
I would understand if the relationship was still new and you were still getting to know each other but you have been together 3 years. Does his friends or family know about you? Seems like he has something to hide...

I second this. I don't buy the whole privacy issue either. You've been together for 3 years. You know pretty much everything about each other I assume. What's the big deal with him adding you on FB? If my SO had done this, I would have been very suspicious.

[MZVIRGO82]

If I was with my s/o for three years and they wouldn't add me on fb I would be concerned as well. I understand privacy and being respectful of it, but after three years why not add you? I would definitely want an explanation about this...

[kayla_622]

Seems to me that he is either trying to hide something or he doesn't want people to know about you either because its a LDR or because he's in a relationship with someone he met online (I'm assuming he met you online). You need to confront him about it and don't back down until you find out what is going on. I can understand wanting to have privacy but, its not like you are asking for his fb password you just want to be on his friend's list.

[ethelynn]

This seems fishy to me...
I would understand if the relationship was still new and you were still getting to know each other but you have been together 3 years. Does his friends or family know about you? Seems like he has something to hide...

^this. I would understand not wanting to be officially a couple on FB linking to the other person, but just adding as friend? It is very suspicious.. adding someone hardly gives away any personal details, only his personal details to YOU but you've been together for 3 years, so why would he want to hide something from you...

[Moon]

Hi Kayla, thanks for the reply. Yes we have met in person, my SO has this high level of privacy and I respect that, that's why I try to understand him every step of the way.

I don't think there's anything or anyone going on with his fb.. I guess am hurt in ways how it feels like we are not on that level of relationship where he is open to me as how I am to him, that after all this years. *sigh*

I am happy and very much attached with him, its just sometimes you want those little things that normal couples have, not to mention how unconventional things already are with the distance so yeah.. At times I don't know if am making an issue out of nothing, that fb is such a shallow deal to measure ones relationship, its just yeah. It hurts.

If he was that serious about his privacy, why would he have a FB account at all? It's only the least private site out there, it's not called social networking for nothing.. And if he won't add YOU after three years, who else is left? This doesn't make sense at all, I'd stop being so compliant about it all and get some answers.

[MissButterfly]

If he was that serious about his privacy, why would he have a FB account at all? It's only the least private site out there, it's not called social networking for nothing.. And if he won't add YOU after three years, who else is left? This doesn't make sense at all, I'd stop being so compliant about it all and get some answers.

This, if he has ANYONE on his facebook account who can read all his stuff but he won't add you, I find that a bit ridiculous. Don't convince yourself that he has his privacy reasons, because if you don't want your girlfriend on facebook then who's left? I would just outright ask answers, you have the right to know because this is not normal.

[Yaaamiii]

If he was that serious about his privacy, why would he have a FB account at all? It's only the least private site out there, it's not called social networking for nothing.. And if he won't add YOU after three years, who else is left? This doesn't make sense at all, I'd stop being so compliant about it all and get some answers.

Yep, it's almost scary how much I know about my friends through facebook alone, and vice versa I'm sure. He's throwin' up some pretty big red flags in my opinion.