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Telling my mom about my boyfriend, help?

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    Telling my mom about my boyfriend, help?

    So. I have an issue.
    I've been with my SO since I was 12. However, my parents never really knew. I "wasn't allowed to date". Or have a boyfriend or anything. So I never told them. I'm 18 now and he has come to visit me twice. Both times just introduced as a "friend". Everyone is telling me they already know. But I need to tell them. But, whenever I try to get the words out. Nothing happens! This is my first relationship and I don't know how to say it.
    Should I be blunt?
    How do I start the conversation?
    Do I just walk into the room and proclaim, "He's my boyfriend!"
    Like. I don't know.
    Any advice?

    #2
    This sounds pretty similar to me.
    I met my SO when I was 10 and he's been my boyfriend on and off.
    We finally became official when I was 17 and he decided to come visit me when I was 18.
    I kind of just hinted at my parents that I had a "friend" coming to visit me. They kind of assumed, since he was a male and they saw me talking to him ALL. THE. TIME.
    Then eventually, I just started calling him my "boyfriend," and my parents understood, although they didn't really accept it.
    I honestly think it's best to just sit them down and be honest about it. Tell them how y'all met and how your relationship has progressed throughout the years!
    [CENTER]

    first met: ~10.03
    became official: 28.03.11
    first meeting: 08.06.12 - 24.06.12 (jason in vancouver)
    second meeting: 18.07.13 - 30.07.13 (jason in vancouver)
    our first vacation together: 30.07.13 - 20.08.13 (cynthia in new orleans)
    third meeting: 14.12.13 - 03.01.14 (cynthia in new orleans)
    fourth meeting: 21.05.14-02.06.14 (jason in vancouver)
    surprise! 13.08.14-27.08.14 (cynthia surprises jason in new orleans)
    viva las vegas: 21.12.14 - 24.12.14 (c+j vacation together in vegas!)
    jason's 1st canadian christmas: 24.12.14-02.01.15
    my first mardi gras: 12.02.15-20.02.15

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      #3
      Honesty is the key.

      I'd like to think that our parents are smarter than we think--and they are just waiting for us to start 'the talk'. Me and my SO started our relationship when I was 15 and he was 16. I tried to be honest with my parents and told them about our relationship, and I promised them that I'll be responsible. In the end, they did not agree to the relationship and condemned us for five years, but we really proved to them that our love is true and we are to be trusted.

      We're both adults now, 7 years after. We broke up and got back together again, but all in all, we have proved to our parents that we really love each other and we can be trusted to handle a relationship well. Both families get along well now and my future in-laws are happy with our relationship.

      TL;DR: Be honest to your parents. If they agree and believe that you are responsible enough, good for you. If they disagree, endure it and prove them wrong. It's just an obstacle in your relationship that you will soon overcome.

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        #4
        I second chizatlauren.

        I would be fairly blunt, just say the real truth so that there is no room for misunderstanding and so you don't have to beat around the bush. Most likely, your parents will be glad you're honest with them!

        Good luck

        Comment


          #5
          It should be fairly easy to transition in your case. Are you allowed to have a boyfriend now or until when?

          Like lovefrom2800 said, they most likely already know if they see you talking to him all the time. If you feel guilty about disobeying your parents you can always take to your advantage the fact that they might not consider what you guys have a relationship due distance. Next time he visits tell your parents how he confessed his feelings and that you feel the same.

          If it really makes you that nervous you could always ask him to do the talking next time he visits, if your parents are old fashioned they will probably appreciate the fact that he had the guts to "ask for their permission" as that shows his intentions are good. This doesn't mean he is asking your hand in marriage or anything.

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