I need help :(

[Andre Manti]

Hey guys, how are you!...

Well this is what is happening with my So and I.. while the time goes we begin to talk less and less and less by Skype.. The last week we didn't talk at all... I know he is busy, he works, and study, and play hockey and I understand that he maybe can't find time to talk with me.. but this is crossing the line.. I understand him, but I think he is not undestandig me, he is not viewing the things from my perspective I think I will become insane... It's like he is not trying to do anything to find the time for me... The last thing I told to him (by facebook) was:

"Don't forget u have girlfriend... I know you are busy, I know you are working, I know you have a life there and many things to do, I know you will start school and you will have to make homework.. I know you have to train.. to play hockey... bla bla bla.. I understand you, but.. you have girfriend too.. I know I'm far away from you, but I still deserving my place as your girlfriend. I know we can't talk everyday, I know you can't send messages.. but.. there is facebook, hotmail.. I'm not asking you too much, I'm just asking you to show me that you care me, that I'm important for you, that I'm part of you.. I just wanna feel loved.. there are some days that I don't know about you... and I feel bad.. is like.. sometimes I think this is a joke for you or maybe you think that everything is right... so.. now I'm telling you.. in not right.. both of us have to make an effort.. this is not easy, and it will not be easy to handle a distance relationship but we can if we give the best of each other... I think I'm giving my best... maybe you think you are giving your best too... mm I don't know.. just think deeply about it... and.. we will talk when you will have the time.. "

I don't know how to handle this situation.. I love him! but this is affecting me to much I don't feel the same energy to handle the relationship, cause it's like I'm the only one who is giving here...

Help me please... I need advices

[Samanthabear]

OK I know this will sound crazy but the best thing to do in this situation is IGNORE him! I know it seems hard BUT i will 100% work. Either he will start shooting you messages or he's not into it anymore. If you know he loves you back and is just sort of gotten comfortable and is blowing you off for other stuff ignoring him will bring him back to reality real quick. It will be all of a sudden one day "jeez.....my GF hasn't talked to me in a while....uh oh better get on that" if you sort of play hard to get like "i'm busy" or " just a sec sweetie" he will only intensify his efforts. Chase is a super important part of the relationship LDR or not.

So don't send him any more messages!!! No txts, tweets, calls or FB MAKE HIM CALL YOU. And if he doesn't call....you are worth it to someone else that will be just as into you as you are to them. If it is really hard and you get tempted, just write what you want to say to him or txt him even if its just something short like "call me" on a piece of paper and keep it to yourself.

This situation can and will work itself out....I hope he calls

---S

[bigmac62]

Maybe you just need to coordinate a time in both your schedules where both of you just drop everything and message/IM/call/etc. each other. I know it's hard to find that one time in the day where you can get together, but maybe you both have a couple minutes free during the day to just drop a little line.

One thing to remember (and maybe to remind him of) is that in a relationship like this, you have to be flexible. You two are in this for a reason: you love each other.

Past that, all I can say is good luck!

[Silviar]

Communication is one of the easiest things to go topsy turvey in an LDR. I would suggest talking to him and asking him to set a set time every week to talk. Make it clear, with specifics, what you need to feel comfortable with your relationship. For example - if you need an hour of Skype chat twice a week, tell him that's what you need and how important it is to you. I would also bring up how you want your relationship to remain healthy, and you understand his schedule, so maybe you could take it week by week.

Good luck!

[paulawriteslove]

I think that you should tell him how important talking is. It's hard to work through two people's schedules. I think that you should set up a time when you should have 'us time.' But you should also give him credit for putting a lot of work into this relationship. Don't just put him down. You can work this out

[MoonWatcher]

It's good that you used the word "I" instead of "you" in your message to him and how you describe the situation. One of the easiest ways to start a fight is by pointing out what the other person did wrong rather then simply stating how you feel about what's happening.

I agree with the others, setting an established time would be the best thing. And when you do talk, bring up the subject of what you both expect out of the relationship. He may just be thinking the relationship is comfortable now, and that you are too and everything is fine and dandy. Misunderstandings like this happen all the time, and unless you both talk about them with an open heart and mind, the relationship (and thus yourselves) will suffer. Try not to take it personally until you talk about that. He may not even realize he's doing it. Take individual time to think about what you actually need out of the relationship as well, not just what you want. We'd all like to talk to our SOs every day, but a lot of times that's simply not possible. But we all need support and a sign that the other cares, especially when you're not around in person to see that "unspoken understanding". Those are feelings you can't ignore. And once you both know what your needs and expectations of each other are, you will be much better equipped to handle any emotional distance that seems to crop up.

Hope that helps!

[noodle]

I agree, just tell him how you feel and that you think its really important (which it really is in a LDR).
Yet what if he doesnt react to it? I'd honestly try to ignore it for a while and wait a lil maybe. I know my SO used to get super busy as well and I didnt hear from him in like 2-3 days even if he wanted to but he just couldnt get on and message me or wahtever.
So just wait and see, but than again you have to know when its over cause otherwise you'll be sufferin
I wish you all the best!

[MTK]

If you feel like he is not understanding you then try and explain to him how it is making you feel and that it is important to you and to make this relationship work that he shows some initiative from his side as otherwise you feel forgotten.
As other people have said, if he/you are really busy setting aside a specific time to talk would be a good idea. And if you feel like there's nothing to talk about then there's always the internet where you can find lots of questions to ask eachother.
I don't know if ignoring him would be the best approach as i feel like nothing will be resolved if you go that way.

[Andre Manti]

Thank you guys for all your advices... Tonight I will talk to him and I hope everything gets better

Thanks
thanks
Thanks!

[paulawriteslove]

I hope everything works out!

[freeskierpj]

I actually really like the way you worded your message to him it shows that you do need him in your life while still being understanding of his situation. I hope things work out for you!

[Andre Manti]

thanks to all of you!
I have talk to him, and now everything is pretty good!! awwwww!!!!

That's love! :P

[Karringtyn]

Glad things are going better now!

[SSUgirl]

Communication is key in any relationship but especially and LDR. Maybe you need to call you SO (if posible) and tell them exactly how you are feeling. Let him know that you are bothered by the fact that you aren't talking very much. Somtimes guys aren't always exactly in tune with what you want if you don't come right out and tell them. Just try to be as open as possible with him and let him know how you are feeling.

[Andre Manti]

Thanks for the advices ^^