90 Day Fiance

[Riyko]

I really didn't know where to post this, but TLC is airing a new show in January called 90 Day Fiance about long distance relationship couples who are on the k-1 visa and going to be getting married. It might be something to watch

https://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/90-day-fiance

[Heavenly_Love12]

I saw a commercial about it the other night. It looked like it could be interesting! I'll probably check it out

[TwoThree]

Yeah, it looks interesting, but I don't really expect much from this... it's TLC, ya know

[mllebamako]

Looks interesting. I only have 2 issues with it:

1. They are only showing foreign women with US citizen men. Doing this kind of makes it seem like a mail-order bride show. Why not show 1 or 2 couples where the USCs are women and the foreigners are men?

2. For people unfamiliar with K1 visas (aka the average American), it kind of makes it seem like the couples really don't know each other and are taking 90 days to see if they should marry. Hopefully when the show airs, they'll show that these couples have been in long-term long-distance relationships and the conflicts are coming more from culture shock and regular pre-wedding jitters with some added struggles from being in an international relationship.

[squeeker]

Looks interesting. I only have 2 issues with it:

1. They are only showing foreign women with US citizen men. Doing this kind of makes it seem like a mail-order bride show. Why not show 1 or 2 couples where the USCs are women and the foreigners are men?

2. For people unfamiliar with K1 visas (aka the average American), it kind of makes it seem like the couples really don't know each other and are taking 90 days to see if they should marry. Hopefully when the show airs, they'll show that these couples have been in long-term long-distance relationships and the conflicts are coming more from culture shock and regular pre-wedding jitters with some added struggles from being in an international relationship.

I agree, I was thinking along similar lines. I might end up watching this to see how they do it but I had some concerns watching the preview that it might be a disappointment and how they will portray LDRs. I am always interested to watch shows about LDRs especially international, so we'll see how this goes!

[lucybelle]

Bullshit. Honestly, I hate every TV show that even mentions immigration to the USA. They always make it look like "oh we'll just get married and the foreigner can stay here and ALL OUR PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED!" I hope they at least mention that these couples had to go through a 6 month application process, interview, etc before even being allowed to come to the USA. And while it is true that lots of couples split up after realizing their spouse only wanted to get to the USA, I hate when shows encourage that idea. Like it's the easiest thing in the world to be fooled. It makes it seem like 90% of relationships are false, when it's really probably only around 10%.

How about a program showing people waiting over a year just for spouse petition approval and how they handle that.

Can you tell I'm bitter?

[Sarah96]

Looks interesting. I only have 2 issues with it:

1. They are only showing foreign women with US citizen men. Doing this kind of makes it seem like a mail-order bride show. Why not show 1 or 2 couples where the USCs are women and the foreigners are men?

2. For people unfamiliar with K1 visas (aka the average American), it kind of makes it seem like the couples really don't know each other and are taking 90 days to see if they should marry. Hopefully when the show airs, they'll show that these couples have been in long-term long-distance relationships and the conflicts are coming more from culture shock and regular pre-wedding jitters with some added struggles from being in an international relationship.

I agree with this 150%. I just don't think TLC realizes they're making it seem like a mail-order bride show and saying it's not. I don't like the idea of this show because It doesn't seem like it's about the LDR as much as it's about 2 people seeing if they can get married in 90 days. I just think it makes real LDRs look bad.

[lyonsgirl]

I don't think these couples are truly LDR. I think they are exactly what has been mentioned: mail order brides. From the TLC webpage:
"In 90 Day Fiance, follow four couples taking a life-altering chance on a cross-border romance. Four foreign brides-to-be and their potential husbands will discover whether their happily-ever-after is meant to be. Using a unique visa (known as a K-1 visa) available uniquely to foreign fiances of American citizens, these women travel to the States to meet and live with their prospective husbands for the first time. The couples have to marry before their visas expire in 90 days or else the women must immediately return to their countries. In addition to living together for the first time, these couples must overcome language barriers, culture shock, the stigma of being thought of as a "mail order bride," and skeptical friends and family -- all with the clock starting the moment they step foot on U.S. soil."

This doesn't sound like the couples have ever met, nor have they been together for very long.

[mllebamako]

I don't think these couples are truly LDR. I think they are exactly what has been mentioned: mail order brides. From the TLC webpage:
"In 90 Day Fiance, follow four couples taking a life-altering chance on a cross-border romance. Four foreign brides-to-be and their potential husbands will discover whether their happily-ever-after is meant to be. Using a unique visa (known as a K-1 visa) available uniquely to foreign fiances of American citizens, these women travel to the States to meet and live with their prospective husbands for the first time. The couples have to marry before their visas expire in 90 days or else the women must immediately return to their countries. In addition to living together for the first time, these couples must overcome language barriers, culture shock, the stigma of being thought of as a "mail order bride," and skeptical friends and family -- all with the clock starting the moment they step foot on U.S. soil."

This doesn't sound like the couples have ever met, nor have they been together for very long.

I actually think they HAVE BEEN in long-term LDRs, it's just that the show is making it seem like they are strangers. Firstly, one requirement for the K1 visa is having met in person in the past 2 years. So they have met. And from this article, it seems like most met each other through means other than the internet.

Alan met Kirlyam on a Mormon mission in Brazil. Russ met Paola in Colombia when he moved there for work. Len and Alina met in a cafe in Ukraine.

I do think it's realistic to show that one of the struggles these couples face is that OTHER people perceive the fiance as a mail order bride and they question her motives. I just hope that the show doesn't reduce the couples to this one stereotype of international relationships.

[Riyko]

Looks interesting. I only have 2 issues with it:

1. They are only showing foreign women with US citizen men. Doing this kind of makes it seem like a mail-order bride show. Why not show 1 or 2 couples where the USCs are women and the foreigners are men?

2. For people unfamiliar with K1 visas (aka the average American), it kind of makes it seem like the couples really don't know each other and are taking 90 days to see if they should marry. Hopefully when the show airs, they'll show that these couples have been in long-term long-distance relationships and the conflicts are coming more from culture shock and regular pre-wedding jitters with some added struggles from being in an international relationship.

I think one thing they should do is have an episode or half an episode talking about what the k-1 visa is, the process of applying, the requirements and exactly how long it can take to get it and the reality of how many people actually get approved for the visa, so the show doesn't give the preconceived notion that anyone can apply and get approved for the k-1 visa without even having to meet the person beforehand (from what the show makes it seem like).

[mllebamako]

I think one thing they should do is have an episode or half an episode talking about what the k-1 visa is, the process of applying, the requirements and exactly how long it can take to get it and the reality of how many people actually get approved for the visa, so the show doesn't give the preconceived notion that anyone can apply and get approved for the k-1 visa without even having to meet the person beforehand (from what the show makes it seem like).

That is definitely what they SHOULD do. Unfortunately, it would make for some pretty boring TV, so they probably won't do any of that!

[BabyGund]

I guess my question is....if these couples have gone to the trouble of obtaining the K-1 visa, why are they not trying harder to fit in and acclimate? Why do they not marry right away? Apparently these women never came to the States to visit? I think you would be able to weed out those that are just looking to come to the States. Or what am I missing from this?

Despite the Jezebel article, I'm still giving this the side eye. >_> Those stories of how they met could be carefully crafted.

So this along with Catfish (which I'm watching on a marathon right now) just does not portray LDRs in a positive light. So be prepared for even more scrutiny from friends and families. Kinda like what Toddlers and Tiaras did to pageants (says a former pageant mom)

[lyonsgirl]

I actually think they HAVE BEEN in long-term LDRs, it's just that the show is making it seem like they are strangers. Firstly, one requirement for the K1 visa is having met in person in the past 2 years. So they have met. And from this article, it seems like most met each other through means other than the internet.

I do think it's realistic to show that one of the struggles these couples face is that HER people perceive the fiance as a mail order bride and they question her motives. I just hope that the show doesn't reduce the couples to this one stereotype of international relationships.

Gotcha. Well, I have less than zero knowledge about what it takes to get a K1, so let's just blame my ignorance. I watched the trailer just now, though, and it sounded like at least one of the couples got engaged shortly into their relationship. That weirds me out. Not because they're international, but because they did it so quickly. Anyway. This could end up being a disaster for TLC. I guessing the show won't last more than one season.

[Yaaamiii]

Interesting...I'm curious to see what this will be like. I tend to get really into TLC shows...

[kikidee]

Everyone keeps trying to figure out if the couples have met before or what not to find the "truth" in this show. I think we need to be a big more realistic in seeing that reality TV isn't exactly reality. Several shows that have claimed to be reality have actually been largely scripted. Who knows if these women are even still foreign. Maybe they already immigrated to the USA and this show just "goes through the motions". Maybe everyone is just a damn actor. Either way, this show isn't about the love, it's about the views.