Am I being too sensitive this Christmas issue?

[CutieTii]

I do understand the way you feel, I used to overreact for no reason too, Sadly it gets you no way by over reacting.

Being very emotional isn't a bad thing ^^ I would suggest think about things first calmly and look it at his view and then yours, Not everything is normal for everyone, Pretty sure you two will fix this easily just a rock in a road nothing to worry about.

Just relax when you two talk don't get too mad or sad or upset.

I find it hard to talk to my SO sometimes about my feelings, It's very hard for me to feel vulnerable.

Best of luck. :3

[BabyGund]

Did you get any late presents, Piratemama?

I know the Christmas gifts I sent to Chicago STILL haven't gotten there.

[piratemama]

No, BabyGund, I haven't, and he's not mentioned anything. I'm betting he didn't do anything for me. We Skyped yesterday for the first time since the 12th, and he didn't say anything. I have decided to calmly and respectfully say I was hurt about it, but I'm waiting until after the new year.

Thank you for remembering and thinking to ask. I'm so happy for everybody on the thread about getting presents, but it hurt my heart, too, to see all the lovely, thoughtful, and romantic gifts. I was married once before, and that man never did anything for me, either. I was hoping for someone that would be more romantic. It's not about the amount of money, but it's about me being important to someone. How can a man not know he should do something for a girlfriend? It's all in the advertisements and on FB and on movies, etc.

I've been doing some soul-searching lately, and I've discovered something about myself. I've always felt left out of everything. It's that way with Christmas, too. Everybody else gets sweet gifts from their boyfriends/husbands, but I don't. My SO gives his family gifts, but not me. I know it's small of me, but it makes me feel bad. It hurts my heart.

[BabyGund]

It's not small of you at all PirateMama. It's Christmas! He didn't have to buy you a Louis Vuitton bag or anything. My guy and I exchanged books about a common interest. Pretty sure neither one of us spent more than $20. It was the thought that counted.

I'd be upset too, unless it was discussed beforehand.

PirateMama

[CutieTii]

I didn't get a christmas gift from my SO last year or this year, I don't mind since We don't really bother with christmas as much but I've been buying stuff for us to have ^^ so yeah nothing really big for us.

I know the feeling of seeing couples getting gifts and being romantic. My SO isn't the romantic type right now due to money. I wonder what its like for my man being romantic. xD <3

[cecile02]

I think you should tell him what you feel. It is important for you, he must know it.
I didn't receive anything from my SO and he told me. It doesn't hurt me because I heard him on Christmas Eve and day but I understand you. You need to feel him more present.

[completelyinlove]

I think it's important to tell him how you feel. If something is bothering you, you should let your SO know. Nothing gets better by keeping it in. I didn't care that my girlfriend didn't get me anything for xmas, but I still sent her a present. I think I'd feel bad if she got me something and I didn't her. Maybe he feels bad about it?

[Alsfia]

This reminds me of what the priest was talking about in his Christmas eve service; "I once met a grandmother who said that she is so childish, that the best part of Christmas for her is getting a gift. It doesn't have to be big or expensive, or even personal, a cheap soap nicely wrapped will make her just as happy as anything. It's something special about opening a nicely wrapped gift, to feel someone put in some extra effort to make just this gift look beautiful."

[piratemama]

This reminds me of what the priest was talking about in his Christmas eve service; "I once met a grandmother who said that she is so childish, that the best part of Christmas for her is getting a gift. It doesn't have to be big or expensive, or even personal, a cheap soap nicely wrapped will make her just as happy as anything. It's something special about opening a nicely wrapped gift, to feel someone put in some extra effort to make just this gift look beautiful."

Yes, most all of us have that little inner-child in us.

[srtd35]

Mine didn't send me a gift either. I don't really mind the no gift thing bc I am reallly really hard to buy for and he eve said I didn't buy you a gift b/c I don't know what to buy and I said that was okay I really would prefer him to save his money for place tickets or somethign when I come to visit. I was very hurt though that he didn't send me a card. We always exchange cards for Holidays and just b/c. I love reading his sweet words and know that he took the time to be thoughtful. I told him after Christmas that I was disappointed and hurt that he didn't send me a card. He aploigized and said he just ran out of time. I think that is a lame excuse b/c it doesn't take that much time to buy and card and mail it. I told him I was very hurt by this and I think he feels bad after the fact. It makes me feel like I am not that importatnt to him. I know this isn't true he just didn't see it as a big of deal as I did so hopefully in the future we will not have the problem.

I also went to a lot of trouble to make his gift, searched 5 different store to find the right card etc... So I think that makes it more hurtful that I made hima priority in my thoughts...they weren't expensive gifts and he didn't do the same. It happens. I don't think it is a sign of anything bad althought in my female head it feels like it but we have to not make a bigger issue than it is.

Oh and when I talked to him about it he did say he would make it up to me when I come visit in a couple of weeks. I wish it were so easy b/c for a man it is just about doing what they didn't do but for us it is more about hurt feelings.

[piratemama]

Mine didn't send me a gift either. I don't really mind the no gift thing bc I am reallly really hard to buy for and he eve said I didn't buy you a gift b/c I don't know what to buy and I said that was okay I really would prefer him to save his money for place tickets or somethign when I come to visit. I was very hurt though that he didn't send me a card. We always exchange cards for Holidays and just b/c. I love reading his sweet words and know that he took the time to be thoughtful. I told him after Christmas that I was disappointed and hurt that he didn't send me a card. He aploigized and said he just ran out of time. I think that is a lame excuse b/c it doesn't take that much time to buy and card and mail it. I told him I was very hurt by this and I think he feels bad after the fact. It makes me feel like I am not that importatnt to him. I know this isn't true he just didn't see it as a big of deal as I did so hopefully in the future we will not have the problem.

I also went to a lot of trouble to make his gift, searched 5 different store to find the right card etc... So I think that makes it more hurtful that I made hima priority in my thoughts...they weren't expensive gifts and he didn't do the same. It happens. I don't think it is a sign of anything bad althought in my female head it feels like it but we have to not make a bigger issue than it is.

You're right - it probably isn't a sign or something bad that he didn't buy a gift or send a card, but it is bad if it bothers you. It's great you talked with him about it. We want to be a priority in our SO's hearts and lives, but we all show those feelings differently. I totally understand how you feel about the card, and you are being quite reasonable. He just needs to realize that is an important way for you to receive love.