Gentleman or Lady?

[folclor]

What's your opinion bout this? And if you have closed the distance/visited your SO etc how did you decide who will be the one movin or comin to visit the other one first?

Well, I originally wanted to go there for the school so for us it was a no brainer on who was moving. ^^; Also, I wanted to visit because I wanted to see what it was like. Beyond that, I knew my parents wouldn't put him up and his would allow me to stay there. ^^

[Caitlin2009]

well both of us are female and seeing one another has nothing to do with gender, its all about who has the money, time and ability to travel first

[Rosebud]

Also another lady here making the plans to go see her man first. To be honest, until I read this, it never even crossed my mind that the 'proper' way to do things was for him to come here first. Would I like him to come here? Of course! And I still DO want him to come here someday, but it really makes no difference to me who travels where first, just so long as we actually get to be together

As many other stated this was all decided pretty much entirely on who had the means to go where. Back when my bf worked at Disneyworld, all his time was taken up with work and there would have been absolutely no chance for him to come here and I didn't want to wait until his internship was over so I'd made the plans. And when those plans fell through I was still committed to flying over to see him seeing as I've had my job for awhile and been able to save up for a number of months, whereas he has only recently started his new job and it would still be awhile for him to save to fly over here. In short, I'm an extremely impatient woman and if I have the abiliy to go see him now, you bet your hind parts I will.

[noodle]

Love your last sentence Rose! i will second that

[XX, Lexi]

My SO, brave soul, came to me first and it was simply because it was the week I was graduating High school and I wanted him there. My dad was thankfully fine with him staying at the house and it turned out to be a really chaotic week, but he trekked through it happily =]
I don't believe the stereotype "The man has to see the woman first." I think that whoever is able to and wants to see their SO first should. =]
And as far as moving together, That's really more of a question you and your So have to really talk about and agree on. Me and Luke don't even know when will be closing the distance and who will! XD

[tjohnston]

I can understand your dad wanting your bf to come see you 1st.... I am really old fashioned and I made my boy work to prove that I was really worth it to him. Also I think it is good for your family to be able to meet him. If he is going to be an important part of your life- wouldn't you want your family and friends to know who he is? I think that if a guy is really into you he will make the effort to show you... and that includes literally crossing oceans...

[Élan]

I made the trip to visit my SO (9,000 miles!). We would have both preferred for him to come to the USA, but because of his passport he cannot get a visa to come here. So I'm the one who gets to enjoy the long flights. :P

[Karringtyn]

I was the one who doubted we could do a LDR..he wanted to prove me wrong...haha he made the trip...one person who doesn't drive long distances and never had....and he did it...mapquest in hand and left at 2 am....

Gender has nothing to do with it in my mind...

[freeskierpj]

Whoever is able to get to the other one! For me I'll be the one to go visit because she can't drive to CT due to her parents not being too keen on me but I'll be able to hop on the bus to get up to MA because I'm on my own right now.

[hellojamie]

My mom did NOT like my boyfriend the first couple times she met him, not for any real reason other than that she didn't know him, and she'd really liked the boyfriend I had before. We lived in the same town when we first started dating, but I think the first time he met her we were already doing the distance thing. The first time he drove up to see me, she wouldn't let him stay at the house and he had to get a hotel room. Rocky start, but she warmed up to him pretty quickly. He's a likable guy.

I'd say he definitely should come visit and meet your folks. It doesn't matter which order you do it in, but it'll make it loads easier in the long run as far as having your parents on board with it. And try and alternate visits. If you go see him first, it'd be good if he could come visit you. That way- to your parents, at least, it looks like equal effort. I would have still stayed with my SO had my mom disapproved, but her opinion really matters to me, and having her support helped when I got really lonely without him or we had rough patches or whatever. Having your parents' respecting your relationship will save you a ton of stress and unhappiness.

[Kirschlein]

My boyfriend visited me the first time and also will move here, because of the simple reason, that Vienna is bigger and he has more chances to get a job here, etc.
Who visits who, shouldn't be affected by the gender though. I can't even remember why he chose to come first xD

[polkapiggy]

For me and my SO, it is likely he will be coming to see me first. The reason for this is because of my family situation and my school situation. It is unlikely I will be able to go see him for say..3 years yet. But he will be able to visit me in *hopefully* 1 year or less because of school (we are both starting our last year of high school, but with the system here in England, I will be going straight on to 2 years at 6th Form College and then will take a gap year before university). There is also the family situation to think about. I am 15, he is 18. By the time visiting comes around I will be 16 and he will be 19 so obviously it makes more sense for the one of us that is technically an adult to visit first. However, I am WAY more experienced in travelling than he is (I have been to many countries in Europe and far beyond to places like Malaysia whereas he has never travelled out of the USA). But when we look at family situation, my parents are very unlikely to allow me to travel abroad alone until my gap year, so if any visits are happening in the next 3 years, he will be the one coming here.

[Mio]

I did the first visit. He would have made it, but he was short on cash and had no vacations days left at work, so I did it. Normally I guess it is better seen when the man do the first step, and I had to deal with comments about this. So you can do as you like, maybe you go there, or maybe you can work together to get him the ticket to see you. Do what is best for your relationship.