Is leaving the second time easier or harder?

[pytsip]

When my SO left in April, we both had a hard time, he had a hard time simply because he was leaving me and everything he has ever known. Watching him say good bye to his dogs, and just walking outside at his house and just standing there looking around it made it hard for me to be the supportive one because I could see how hard it was on him and wanted to cry. At the airport, we held each other for 20 minutes until his friend had to drag him away to go check their bags.

What I'm wondering is for those of you who have had that first visit with your SO since they left, was it easier or harder to watch them walk away that time or the first time?

[NaNi]

I only met my SO once, but I already know that the second goodbye will just be as painful as the first one. Just knowing that you have to let them go again even though you don't want to... that it might be many months until you can see each other again... it makes my eyes fill up already. I don't want to know how hard I will be crying at the airport again.

[ioanna]

hey there...
for me leaving the second time was easier than the first.... sure, it always hurts to go/see your other half go, but this time i wasn't facing the unknown... i had the reassurance that things will be ok, that we would be ok, even though it felt my world was shattering and i was crying alone in mid day in the streets and metro of paris...
it was also a lot quicker for me to get a hold of myself this time around, because we had already found a routine/balance that worked for us, so we didnt need to try different things, and feel all messed up by it... and it was also nice for me to sat yaaay one year down, 4 more to go... small step indeed, but still one more step further to where we want to be..
try to enjoy as much of the time together as you can, and dont overthink the rest, it will work itself out when its time comes...

[paulawriteslove]

I've seen my boyfriend a lot of times, and each time it gets easier. This is because we know we're going to see each other again We don't say 'goodbye', but instead 'see you later.'

[Tanja]

I wouldn't say it's get easier - I always cry my eyes out when we leave each other - but you learn to deal with your emotions better and even though you're sad you learn to focus on the positive things like when will you see him again and all the good memories you shared together rather than let the tears and loneliness take complete control over you.

It's always hard but you'll both be fine and you'll forget all the tears once you're in each others arms again.

[ioanna]

I wouldn't say it's get easier - I always cry my eyes out when we leave each other - but you learn to deal with your emotions better and even though you're sad you learn to focus on the positive things like when will you see him again and all the good memories you shared together rather than let the tears and loneliness take complete control over you.

It's always hard but you'll both be fine and you'll forget all the tears once you're in each others arms again.

TADA! Tanja put what i wanted to say in such a coherent way!

sorry everyone, i'm super tired tonight, had a really hard day at work...

[Michelle]

Second time was definitely worse for me. Everything was very new and exciting the first time and my mind was just buzzing with a bunch of thoughts. Even though I was sad, I was extremely happy at how well our first time together as bf/gf went that I didn't cry.

Second time, I bawled like a baby and almost every time since then.

[garnet]

The second time was also harder for me. Due to the customs guard cutting our trip by 2/3, he was leaving much sooner than we expected, and I was scared because if the visa process failed, I would never see him again. We just didn't have the money to try again, knew that due to our circumstances we would be setting ourselves up for a long term LDR that had no possible end in sight (nor the money to travel, trips were just too expensive). It was a bad time!

[William]

easier for me

[milaya]

For me it actually seems to get harder, maybe because I'm falling more in love with him every time.
This time, when he went back to Japan 3 weeks ago, has actually been the hardest for me to get over.
When he left in May, I was able to fight back my tears in the airport, so I could send him off with a smile, but when I got home I of course cried my eyes out. But this time, it was the hardest, I cried so much, but also think it was because that this time he would gone for 16 weeks, instead of the normal 6 weeks.

I guess for me it makes it harder, because the memories of all the tears I've spilled and all the pain I've felt, waiting for him, returns once he is about to leave again. Every time, I tried to reassure myself in July, that I would be able to get through 16 weeks and I almost believed it, I remembered how painful silly 6 weeks had seemed.

But, I do believe it will feel easier the next time. Mostly because then he will once again be gone for about 6 weeks and then they wont feel as bad, because I survived the 16 weeks.

[Caitlin2009]

well ive only met her in person once and her leaving that time....there are no words to describe the pain i felt and still kinda feel because shes not here, i'll be visiting her for 6 months in November and when its time to go im hoping its not as bad because a month or so after that we'll be hopefully living under one roof forever

[threecheers9980]

Joe has visited three times and I don't really think it's gotten easier to see him leave.

[freeskierpj]

I've seen my boyfriend a lot of times, and each time it gets easier. This is because we know we're going to see each other again We don't say 'goodbye', but instead 'see you later.'

This is what happens with I've left Delanie. I've been apart from her before and for me it gets way easier each time for the same reason, we know we'll see each other again and the fact that we'll both miss each other solidifies at least for me that I love her that much more.

[Karringtyn]

Each time I fall more and more in love with him and get closer and closer emotionally to him. I realize just how great it is to have him around and when I go to leave I almost panic because I don't want to be apart. This last time was the worst. I cried half the drive home.

[hellojamie]

I used to cry every time he would leave, but eventually it's gotten to an, "okay, call me when you're home," kind of thing. I don't love him less or cherish the time any less, I just know that he's not leaving forever, and that each goodbye gets us closer to the point where we won't have to say goodbye at all any more. I can't wait until the day comes where I can grumble at him to hurry up and go already so I can turn off the light and go back to sleep.

Granted, I'm sure I'm going to boohoo when I drive down to Florida and add another 20 hours of distance, but again, at the end of that distance, there won't be any more. I guess that's how I get through it. There's always a next time, always a next visit, always something to look forward to.