How do you feel about what this woman said?

[kittyo9]

I met my boyfriend at work. We lived 10 minutes from each other. We started dating. After a year I left to pursue school. We are only 2 hours apart.

I didn't meet him online.

Perhaps that's why it doesn't make sense to you.

[Moon]

I agree with this woman. LDR's formed by people who have never met each other are nonsense to me.

What I don't get is why people get all bent out of shape because somebody expressed their opinion. You all are expressing your opinions right now in response to hers. And I think it's kind of a joke how now some of you are making up reasons as to why she may feel this way, because maybe she tried it and it didn't work out for her. Lol.

Sometimes, boys and girls, people just feel the way they do because they have logically and reasonably formed an opinion.

I'm not a girl, I'm a woman, thanxverymuch.

While I did not meet my guy on the internet, we certainly did form the beginnings of a relationship before meeting in person. It's much easier if you're only 120 miles away, I'm sure, but there are many successful cases right here on this forum, which you obviously haven't investigated. I actually don't completely disagree with the author, as a long-time member of this forum, I've seen a good number of online relationships crash and burn in short order, but there are many, many people here who have proven that online relationships can work.

Probably not a great way to start making friends here, btw.

[kiara_silver]

I met my boyfriend at work. We lived 10 minutes from each other. We started dating. After a year I left to pursue school. We are only 2 hours apart.

I didn't meet him online.

But being on this site and forum a good percentage of us have met our SO's online and are in good solid relationships. Myself being one of them. We were in a long distance relationship for 2 years before we even met! Now here I am sitting next to our beautiful daughter over in the UK together. And I would say my relationship was as real then as it is now. So its not "nonsense" to everyone.

Sorry had to reply, maybe struck a string. Back to topic.
I understand her thoughts to a point, a lot of people don't understand how a long distance relationship can work, most of my family had the same thoughts and opinions at first. And I think no one can fully understand unless they go through it personally or know of someone who has. I had to stay strong for the beginning of my relationship and not let hurtful words get to me, because I knew what I had was real. I also think it's different for the older and new generation. Because technology is becoming more and more apart of everyday life, its becoming more common I think to online date or meet someone online. And it wasn't that way for my parents and others then.

[sarahjane1992]

I'm not a girl, I'm a woman, thanxverymuch.

While I did not meet my guy on the internet, we certainly did form the beginnings of a relationship before meeting in person. It's much easier if you're only 120 miles away, I'm sure, but there are many successful cases right here on this forum, which you obviously haven't investigated. I actually don't completely disagree with the author, as a long-time member of this forum, I've seen a good number of online relationships crash and burn in short order, but there are many, many people here who have proven that online relationships can work.

Probably not a great way to start making friends here, btw.

I second Moon. Don't lecture us like we're children. I started dating my SO over a month before we met in person because we met online.
Almost 9 months later, we're still going strong.
If you love each other and work at it, being LD can work. Like snow said, this is the best relationship I've ever had. And the only one I want.
Meeting online isn't conventional but it works for a lot of people. And those people have very happy and successful relationships. I'm happy to be one of them.

[CanadianGirl]

I met my boyfriend at work. We lived 10 minutes from each other. We started dating. After a year I left to pursue school. We are only 2 hours apart.

I didn't meet him online.

Yeah, the sentiment is pretty demeaning of the large majority LFAD users. I met my SO online. We live 2000 miles away. We met in person, became official and are forced to stay LDR due to school. It's been nearly 4 years and we're looking forward to moving to be together and getting married. I'm going to assume you didn't mean to come across as inflammatory, but it read that way to me.

[princessmaria]

I think that what it boils down to is perspective, or lack thereof. It's difficult to understand the mechanics of an LDR that originated online if you've never experienced why/those feelings yourself. However, if you're unwilling to at least acknowledge that it does happen and that it is perceivable, you're being extremely closed minded. Making broad generalizations like "all online originated LDRs are nonsense" is a nonsensical statement in itself because you're out-right ignoring situations that prove otherwise. I don't understand that. It's perfectly fine to form a logical opinion, but what makes logic, logic is that it can be proven. When you can prove that all online-originated relationships end in failure and are "nonsense", then I think it's perfectly fine for you to say something like that without sounding like such a snob.

This goes for Gnome and the woman in OP.

[BabyGund]

Welp. I am in an LDR that started online. We met once and working on details to meet again. We talk everyday. And everyday he shows me how he is The One I've been waiting for all my life. Weve seen the ups and downs. We argue. We've discussed living together and engagement rings and weddings in Vegas or Hawaii or the Caribbean or the Canadian Rockies or city hall.

Do LDRs blow up? Yep. Do CDRs blow up? Yep. That really has nothing to do with it. Every relationship has to do with the people involved and nothing else.

So I laugh at those opinions -- you don't know me or him and you only know what bits I choose to post about here

[Samantha94]

Only thing that I truly agree with her is that I don't understand relationships that start online. Like for me it is truly important to see how I feel around that person. Are there some kind of aspects that bother me, do we have chemistry etc. Everything starts from the physical contact for me (since I have so many friends who i get along really well and they want to be more than friends but I just don't feel that comfortable around them). After that comes - do we get along well, does he make me laugh, does he understand me and I him? That's why i feel always very weird when someone babbles that "Oh my boyfriend is amazing! So romantic and caring and is a good listener and we have been dating for more than three months!" and then you find out that she hasn't actually seen him.

[Hollandia]

I would love to have a chance to directly respond to that person the OP found on the internet. I would love to hear her level of education, experience and overall amount of common sense. I want to know why she thinks she has the wisdom and knowledge to dictate to other's which way is the best to meet the love of your life and who you are allowed to mate with. I have met several men CD that lasted long term, one with I had a child with. We are not together anymore. What was her point about that? Men you meet CD you have babies with are okay but not LDR? It does not matter if LDR or CD, it matters about the unique situation each and every time. I met one in a bar and one in through friends.............not quite sure what is acceptable for her narrow mind.....anyhoo, None ended well, so must shock her to know I met my SO through the internet and now after a few years we are once again together for the next 3 months until our countries require us to part again. We plan on a lifetime together, and have just adopted two furry babies (kittens!) to our Netherlands home. Until finances permit we continue to have to spend every 3 months apart but our friends and families are starting to get to know each other and an actual baby is planned in our near future. How asinine and idiotic that person sounds telling the women to go look in the bloody phone book? Is she 70? Who even uses a phone book anymore? Wake up and smell the century! Once upon a time, daughters were expected to marry the man their father chose, should we go back to that, which btw, they never knew their husbands either maybe a healthy dowry would make it all alright? Give me a break, I feel sorry for that woman, and good luck to her for her total lack of touch of reality and how the real world works for us modern folk these days.

[mellif]

I think it's interesting that she describes LDRs as a 'fairy tale' for those involved. Certainly, I'm in an awesome relationship with my SO, but that's because we've worked hard at proper communication and working together to support each others' needs. It's far from a 'fairy tale', which suggests all the work is done for you and all you have to do is stick around for the ride.

I don't see my SO and I as a prince and princess-- I see us as a team. Working together as equals to make this work, and happen. We're doing our best, and are very happy; in the end, I think that's all that matters for any relationship, even if it doesn't work out down the road.

[Ahava]

I'm very much enjoying my nonsense unreal relationship that started online. (But we calculate the relationship/dating to have started when we first met, but I could easily count earlier on when we hadn't met as the feelings came into picture much earlier)

I would disagree with the woman that this thread is about, that in a LDR that has started online (excluding cat fishes etc) that you actually get to know the other person MUCH BETTER when all you have to go with is COMMUNICATION. Talking, writing, chatting. If you have been talking to some one everyday for a year you get to know them PRETTY DAMN WELL. I think it is actually much better that way than if you start of physical in CD. The feromones, touching etc all get your head mixed up so that you might find yourself dating someone you shouldn't be because you didn't really get to know them before you fell head over heals. The other person might be good looking, smell good, great kisser and good in bed, but you might not have a clue what they really are like.

Just my opinion.

[80anthea]

I met my boyfriend at work. We lived 10 minutes from each other. We started dating. After a year I left to pursue school. We are only 2 hours apart.

I didn't meet him online.

I tell you what Gnome, I'm actually in williamsburg, virginia at the moment with my SO who I met online and dated for 4-months before meeting. I want to invite you to come to dinner at his house and tell us in person about our relationship.

[Ahava]

I tell you what Gnome, I'm actually in williamsburg, virginia at the moment with my SO who I met online and dated for 4-months before meeting. I want to invite you to come to dinner at his house and tell us in person about our relationship.

LOL Well said.

[completelyinlove]

I think being in a LDR makes you closer to a person than someone you met in real life. I feel closer to my girlfriend than I ever did with any of my exes. I feel like she knows me better too.

[80anthea]

LOL Well said.

Well he's an awesome cook so they'd be stupid to miss out on the opportunity

In all seriousness, it drives me mad when people have to pass judgement on others relationships just because they are different to their own. I would rather people took the opportunity to learn about them and ask questions than jump to conclusions based on nothing but their own prejudice.