My boyfriend and I have been dating off/on for over 4 years. In the first year he wasn't willing to move here (Louisiana) because he loves it there (Colorado). Then, that changed to him being willing to consider it. Now he is willing to move, and he plans on doing so at the end of march/beginning of April. I can't move there because I have a daughter and I share joint custody with her dad here and I'm not going to take her away from her dad.
So, yesterday I asked what he expected of me when he moves here and he said "To be patient, give me time. There will be ups and downs. I’ll question if I made the right choice. I’ll have good days and down days. Similar to how the first few months were when I moved here."
Then he asked if I had any worries that things wouldn't work out. I told him I did worry that he would decide it wasn't working for him. I asked what he worried about, and got this " Im not sure worry is the right word. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Maybe question, or wonder are better words. I question/wonder a lot of things. I wonder if we will be as compatible once we live together full time as we think we will be or have been long distance. I wonder if I can eventually make the full transition to living down there and enjoying it. I wonder if I’m actually suitable to be a mentor to a kid, have a kid of my own, etc, or is my personality type not suited for it and I find out later it’s not for me after all. I actually worry if I can find a decent job with my dui and apparently now interlock restricted license through mid 2016. Like anything else that is new, you wonder about it because you don’t know until you actually find out. But there’s also things I know. I know I want to be with you, which is obviously the only reason I’m planning to move. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be planning on going anywhere of course. I know there’s tons of things about living down there I have, can, and will enjoy. I know you and Ash will try your hardest to make me and aspen feel like it’s our warm home too. My biggest worry, by far, is getting a job. It actually is the cause of my sleepless nights"
I guess my question is are these feelings he has normal and expected? What can I realistically expect his adjustment to living here to be like? How should I handle it? Should I be worried that he 'wonders' all of these things?
So, yesterday I asked what he expected of me when he moves here and he said "To be patient, give me time. There will be ups and downs. I’ll question if I made the right choice. I’ll have good days and down days. Similar to how the first few months were when I moved here."
Then he asked if I had any worries that things wouldn't work out. I told him I did worry that he would decide it wasn't working for him. I asked what he worried about, and got this " Im not sure worry is the right word. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Maybe question, or wonder are better words. I question/wonder a lot of things. I wonder if we will be as compatible once we live together full time as we think we will be or have been long distance. I wonder if I can eventually make the full transition to living down there and enjoying it. I wonder if I’m actually suitable to be a mentor to a kid, have a kid of my own, etc, or is my personality type not suited for it and I find out later it’s not for me after all. I actually worry if I can find a decent job with my dui and apparently now interlock restricted license through mid 2016. Like anything else that is new, you wonder about it because you don’t know until you actually find out. But there’s also things I know. I know I want to be with you, which is obviously the only reason I’m planning to move. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be planning on going anywhere of course. I know there’s tons of things about living down there I have, can, and will enjoy. I know you and Ash will try your hardest to make me and aspen feel like it’s our warm home too. My biggest worry, by far, is getting a job. It actually is the cause of my sleepless nights"
I guess my question is are these feelings he has normal and expected? What can I realistically expect his adjustment to living here to be like? How should I handle it? Should I be worried that he 'wonders' all of these things?
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