Last time I updated on here things were pretty grim and we were looking at taking a break in our relationship... We had some rough months that had us re-evaluate things over and over and made us want to throw in the towel... His mother being our #1 issue as she would pick a fight with him and they would yell at each other every single time she heard him talking to me. She even tried to invite some of the rest of his family to hold an intervention about how I was ruinning his life (but that backfired on her, when his extended family took his side)
Anyways even though we were both broke, we decided we wouldn't miss our first Christmas together so we found a way to afford a flight. We were going to keep things really cheap, but the closer we got to the vacation, the more he tried to plan bigger more romantic things... He even booked us a nice hotel in San Antonio.
2 nights before my visit, I got a phone call in the middle of the night. Half asleep, I couldn't figure out what was going on and I assumed he was drunk calling me (Something he used to do a lot until he slowed way down on his drinking) So I hung up and texted him a nasty text about disturbing in the middle of the night when he knew I was sick and so tired and I had guests in my house. I got a text back... from his cousin. Saying they were in the hospital... Because Siamak had hurt his leg. I looked at my phone in confusion. In my half asleep state it made no sense... so I answered I didn't know what to believe and couldn't figure out what was going on. So his cousin took a picture of Siamak in the hospital.
Obviously that got my attention and I called his cousin to find out what had happened. (He accidentally stabbed his leg... umm yeah...)
So yeah a couple days before our trip, he's in the hospital, he gets something like 15 stitches in his thigh and all our plans are in the air. Our road trip to San Antonio becomes definitely canceled but I bring up the fact that with a huge hospital bill looming ahead of him and not knowing when he would be able to go back to work, it made no sense for us to spend any money on a visit (since we always have had to stay in hotels when I go).
So he brought up a solution that I never imagined would happen. He asked if I would stay with him. At his mom's house. He wouldn't be able to do her grocery shopping and maybe I could help them both out... I was absolutely terrified! This is the woman who does everything she can to sabbotage our relationship! But I decided this was a good opportunity...
So I was picked up at the airport by his only friend that I had met before, and he brought me to Siamak's mother's house. Now this is a very big deal, my SO has been living in the US for only 4 years. Not only does he come from a culture where the mother just simply does not get introduced to the girlfriend until they are going to be married, but his mother is especially traditional and old fashioned. She's in her 70s and that's just not how things are...
But she accepted me in her home with open arms (and a hug, and 3 kisses on the cheeks) She cooked for me, she fought me whenever I tried to do the dishes and she tried to communicate with me. The SO and I grew so much closer during that week. We had some fights that we were able to resolve without drama and by talking and we did a lot of cuddling and talking and dreaming together. I proved to him that even though his mother still didn't like me and still was unhappy about the situation, that I could make it work... We all made the best of a bad situation.
And for the first time, I was REALLY let in to his life. For the first time, I could see he was not ashamed by me... He always said he is just a private person, but when I got insecure I always felt it meant he didn't want people to know about me because he was ashamed. But I was introduced to his mother, and his cousin and we even skyped with his friends in Iran...
This was the absolute worse I ever broke down when we had to say goodbye. Airport security actually had to comfort me because when they asked me if I was travelling alone, I burst into an unnattractive mess of loud crying!
Now it has been 3 weeks, and I am trying to regain our long distance groove but he is resisting. He says he can't go back to how things were because he couldn't get himself to feel comfortable with not being with me... We had a big fight about it last night... But he has matured so much and he can turn things around now... He can talk to me clamly while I'm a crying mess. We discussed the possibility of throwing in the towel... beause if he couldn't go back to normal long-distance, but we can't close the distance, what other options is there?
But then I asked him if Austin, Texas was a possibility for him.. And a new plan has started to emerge... It's not an easier plan... maybe even a more difficult one... but it has strange possibilities... But now I have to somehow find a way to sell the idea to the ex husband... Because he would have to move too... for the kids... but also because Austin is a good option for him and his career... We used to both work for Dell, and lately a few of our mutal friends and ex-c-workers have been relocating to AUstin to go back to Dell... I know myex is frutrated with the lack of opportunities for him and his almost fiance here and I know he has considered leaving the children behind to pursue work opportunities... He is tired of living in a small appartment and he could afford a house there...
Still, it's nice to have different options... And this absolutely crazy option could work really well for everyone.
Anyways even though we were both broke, we decided we wouldn't miss our first Christmas together so we found a way to afford a flight. We were going to keep things really cheap, but the closer we got to the vacation, the more he tried to plan bigger more romantic things... He even booked us a nice hotel in San Antonio.
2 nights before my visit, I got a phone call in the middle of the night. Half asleep, I couldn't figure out what was going on and I assumed he was drunk calling me (Something he used to do a lot until he slowed way down on his drinking) So I hung up and texted him a nasty text about disturbing in the middle of the night when he knew I was sick and so tired and I had guests in my house. I got a text back... from his cousin. Saying they were in the hospital... Because Siamak had hurt his leg. I looked at my phone in confusion. In my half asleep state it made no sense... so I answered I didn't know what to believe and couldn't figure out what was going on. So his cousin took a picture of Siamak in the hospital.
Obviously that got my attention and I called his cousin to find out what had happened. (He accidentally stabbed his leg... umm yeah...)
So yeah a couple days before our trip, he's in the hospital, he gets something like 15 stitches in his thigh and all our plans are in the air. Our road trip to San Antonio becomes definitely canceled but I bring up the fact that with a huge hospital bill looming ahead of him and not knowing when he would be able to go back to work, it made no sense for us to spend any money on a visit (since we always have had to stay in hotels when I go).
So he brought up a solution that I never imagined would happen. He asked if I would stay with him. At his mom's house. He wouldn't be able to do her grocery shopping and maybe I could help them both out... I was absolutely terrified! This is the woman who does everything she can to sabbotage our relationship! But I decided this was a good opportunity...
So I was picked up at the airport by his only friend that I had met before, and he brought me to Siamak's mother's house. Now this is a very big deal, my SO has been living in the US for only 4 years. Not only does he come from a culture where the mother just simply does not get introduced to the girlfriend until they are going to be married, but his mother is especially traditional and old fashioned. She's in her 70s and that's just not how things are...
But she accepted me in her home with open arms (and a hug, and 3 kisses on the cheeks) She cooked for me, she fought me whenever I tried to do the dishes and she tried to communicate with me. The SO and I grew so much closer during that week. We had some fights that we were able to resolve without drama and by talking and we did a lot of cuddling and talking and dreaming together. I proved to him that even though his mother still didn't like me and still was unhappy about the situation, that I could make it work... We all made the best of a bad situation.
And for the first time, I was REALLY let in to his life. For the first time, I could see he was not ashamed by me... He always said he is just a private person, but when I got insecure I always felt it meant he didn't want people to know about me because he was ashamed. But I was introduced to his mother, and his cousin and we even skyped with his friends in Iran...
This was the absolute worse I ever broke down when we had to say goodbye. Airport security actually had to comfort me because when they asked me if I was travelling alone, I burst into an unnattractive mess of loud crying!
Now it has been 3 weeks, and I am trying to regain our long distance groove but he is resisting. He says he can't go back to how things were because he couldn't get himself to feel comfortable with not being with me... We had a big fight about it last night... But he has matured so much and he can turn things around now... He can talk to me clamly while I'm a crying mess. We discussed the possibility of throwing in the towel... beause if he couldn't go back to normal long-distance, but we can't close the distance, what other options is there?
But then I asked him if Austin, Texas was a possibility for him.. And a new plan has started to emerge... It's not an easier plan... maybe even a more difficult one... but it has strange possibilities... But now I have to somehow find a way to sell the idea to the ex husband... Because he would have to move too... for the kids... but also because Austin is a good option for him and his career... We used to both work for Dell, and lately a few of our mutal friends and ex-c-workers have been relocating to AUstin to go back to Dell... I know myex is frutrated with the lack of opportunities for him and his almost fiance here and I know he has considered leaving the children behind to pursue work opportunities... He is tired of living in a small appartment and he could afford a house there...
Still, it's nice to have different options... And this absolutely crazy option could work really well for everyone.
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