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Whenever I hear him say the word "when we get married"

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    #16
    Oh, you live at home? And you contemplate weather or not to close to the distance in 7 years, and then wait some more years before getting married and all this time you will be celibate? That is probably very good for your career. And after that you can find a guy you are actually into.
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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      #17
      I think the age gap is definitely a large part like mentioned. He's at or around the age where he's ready to settle down and you are just starting to experience life. I'm about to turn 18 in two days and my boyfriend is 22 and even an age gap with only a few years shows major differences. I'm still in high school and he is working. He can do things that I can't yet do. We've talked about marriage and I personally can't wait to be married and have a family, but that's just me and I understand you're different. But as much as age gaps don't matter, they can be difficult when two people are at different stages in their lives. However, there's nothing wrong with talking about marriage and fantasizing about a life together. If it makes you uncomfortable though, you have to tell him that. Let him know you're too young and it's too soon to be worried about marriage. I sometimes have to say I'm too young to worry about something yet when I'm talking to my BF. Good luck!

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        #18
        Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
        Living together and not having sex is so not going to work. Do you plan on torturing the poor guy? Plus you don't even know if you want to marry him at all... This does not seem serious to me.
        Honestly if she is serious about waiting it wouldn't be an issue. I also am waiting till marriage and have stayed with SO for a week in a hotel when I visited him (because he lives in military dorming) and when you have a strong feeling to wait, it really isn't that hard at all. Yes I wanted to, but it wasn't hard for me to say no. so not sure you should be speaking on behalf of everyone in this predicament.

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          #19
          Originally posted by kikidee View Post
          Honestly if she is serious about waiting it wouldn't be an issue. I also am waiting till marriage and have stayed with SO for a week in a hotel when I visited him (because he lives in military dorming) and when you have a strong feeling to wait, it really isn't that hard at all. Yes I wanted to, but it wasn't hard for me to say no. so not sure you should be speaking on behalf of everyone in this predicament.
          I have nothing against waiting until marriage in general, just her version of it. Nobody lives long term together and don't have sex. They may live together for a short while to prepare marriage, but not for long and not without a date for marriage. You are not living with your so, as she plans to do. She indicated they would live like that for years. That is my concern. Your story hardly relates to what I said in the other posts. Please read before you post.
          I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
          - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



          "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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            #20
            Originally posted by kikidee View Post
            Honestly if she is serious about waiting it wouldn't be an issue. I also am waiting till marriage and have stayed with SO for a week in a hotel when I visited him (because he lives in military dorming) and when you have a strong feeling to wait, it really isn't that hard at all. Yes I wanted to, but it wasn't hard for me to say no. so not sure you should be speaking on behalf of everyone in this predicament.
            A week is nothing, the OP is talking about an undetermined amount of unplanned YEARS, and that's a completely different thing.
            Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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              #21
              Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
              I have nothing against waiting until marriage in general, just her version of it. Nobody lives long term together and don't have sex. They may live together for a short while to prepare marriage, but not for long and not without a date for marriage. You are not living with your so, as she plans to do. She indicated they would live like that for years. That is my concern. Your story hardly relates to what I said in the other posts. Please read before you post.
              I wasn't saying my situation was at all the same. I'm just saying if you're going to have sex with someone just because you live with them then you didn't have much of a will to wait to begin with. Living with someone doesn't just change your true beliefs.

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                #22
                Originally posted by Moon View Post
                A week is nothing, the OP is talking about an undetermined amount of unplanned YEARS, and that's a completely different thing.
                Idk I plan to live with my SO before we get married and still not do it. Btw I'm not saying other people are wrong not to wait and I don't feel like anyone is attacking me, to make things clear

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                  #23
                  What worries me the most is this whole closing the distance thing without first meeting. I've done it and it was a terrible idea, even though it turned out for the best for me.
                  So, here you are
                  too foreign for home
                  too foreign for here.
                  Never enough for both.

                  Ijeoma Umebinyuo, Diaspora Blues

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                    #24
                    Originally posted by kikidee View Post
                    Idk I plan to live with my SO before we get married and still not do it.
                    For years?
                    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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                      #25
                      Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
                      For years?
                      Most likely 2 years.

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