Really gettting fed up with this!!!!

[Caitlin2009]

Well Denise made it back safetly to Scotland a few days ago(im alright little episodes of feeling depressed but doing better, still miss her like hell ) as soon as she got back her parents decided to give her a hard time pretty much saying "have your feet gotton back on the ground yet?" in other words they were wondering if she still has her head in the clouds like they always keep thinking, the doctor gave her a blood pressure machine to monitor her pressure because it can get a little high and anytime she talks to her parents who have been non stop giving her a hard time and laying on guilt trips her blood pressure goes really high almost to the point of hypertension which is not good considering she already has a heart condition which is slowly going away and only pops with anxiety. when i talk to her, her pressure goes back to normal and slightly lower. I know she loves her parents but i dont want them to risk her health by constantly giving her a hard time for no fucking reason!!!! arrrrg!!!! and she told me today she knows that they will not talk to her again when they find out she's gonna be moving in a few months, and knowing that i told her and luckily she agreed not to tell them anything like that until i am over there because i know it will be a bad day and she'll need me there in person, because i just know that shits gonna hit the fan as soon as she tells them. I know she loves them but if they are gonna act like that then that shows there true colors. Just wish they would lay off of her for once especially since she just got back from visiting me, they were really nice people i dont know what the hell has happened to them!

[noodle]

Im sorry to hear that
Did she try talkin to them and tellin them that its not doin anythin good to her when they do that?
And I agree with you on the moving part that she doesnt tell yet, not just are you goin to be there to support her but also will they meet you and hopefully accept that you two want to live together.
All the best!

[Caitlin2009]

No she hasent told them that but i'll tell her to do so because its not healthy and i already worry about her constantly she doesnt need added health problems! as for meeting them heh....right now all i wanna do is yell at them and i might do that if i meet them, but that is an option i could do meet them first and then have her tell them at some point what the plan is

[maielle]

That sounds pretty bad. When I read this forum it seems like a lot of LDR couples have some issues with their parents. I wonder if that's typical for LDR...?

Her parents seem to be really negative about you two. Could it be maybe because they stress that she might move away? I guess my solution to all relationship problems would be having an adult calm discussion (the adult and calm part never works out with me though..) and telling about your true feelings.

And as noodle said, she should maybe ask them to be more reasonable and behave like adults should especially because of her condition. It also seems to be quite popular among parents that they treat their adult children as reckless kids

[Silviar]

If possible, I hope Denise will consider a therapist to get her tension under control so she can get back in control of her own life. Denise, dunno if you're reading or not, but we love you and don't want you to pop your heart.

Also, if her parents keep having issues/they're long-term, I have a book I want to recommend to Denise.

[Caitlin2009]

Silviar-shes not bad enough to need a therapist, she'll get through it no worries about that, she's been through so much over the years and this is nothing compared to what she has gone through she's my true hero for surviving all of that

maielle- yeah sadly i think it is part of a LDR because parents by nature are protective of there kids, my parents now actually like her alot after they met her, and apologized the other day about what they said before O_o lol im hoping if i meet them maybe that will change there minds, and honestly i think its based on things they never got to do or never will do and now there daughter is getting to do that and they are jelous of that a little bit

[Mio]

I think probably her parents have the fear of loosing her. They know she came back, and that she is so happy that she will do whatever to be with you, so they know anyhow they will 'loose' her. Hope everything works out!

[paulawriteslove]

I'm sorry to hear that. But I'm glad that you're going to be there in person when she tells her parents about the move and stuff.

[Caitlin2009]

I think probably her parents have the fear of loosing her. They know she came back, and that she is so happy that she will do whatever to be with you, so they know anyhow they will 'loose' her. Hope everything works out!

yeah thats part of it as well, she had a brother who died a few years back and another brother who is just an asshole, so they are very afraid of losing her because they lost 2 sons already, but with there behavior recently all they are doing is pushing her away. I know she's not gonna handle it well if they decide not to talk to her anymore, me being there should lessen the blow but i know she'll take it hard and i feel bad but this is her path and her destiny not theres, im just hoping they will at least take it kinda well but i know its not gonna be a good day when she tells them

[Miranda]

honestly...they (her parents)WILL adjust. I have a daughter who 'made the move' and yeah, it was rough, but it hit me that I made her to have a LIFE, with me or without me. And now, she runs TO me because of it. And you know what else? so does HE! lol. I backed off and they come to ME for some words of wisdom and that's totally cool with me.r I have even graduated to referee their fights..fun fun fun..lol... Trust me honey, these parents will get used to it. Im positive! Oh and listen..whatever you do: stay out of it. Just be her crutch. I know what you mean as far as wanting to yell at them, but DONT-serious..hold back and PLEASE take the high road. I say this because it can come back to bite you later.

[Caitlin2009]

I hope they will adjust, because i hate to see a close family break apart :/ especially since they were so close

[JoMarie]

Give them time to get used to all of it. Older people don't adjust as easily as a younger person does. I'm sure they are worried about her, just as much as you are but for different reasons. Keep supporting her and things will find a way to work out.

[noodle]

No she hasent told them that but i'll tell her to do so because its not healthy and i already worry about her constantly she doesnt need added health problems! as for meeting them heh....right now all i wanna do is yell at them and i might do that if i meet them, but that is an option i could do meet them first and then have her tell them at some point what the plan is

She should def tell them.
oh I know that feelin lol I even got to the point of almost callin my SOs parents on the phone and tell them whats goin on ^^ But once I'm goin to see them face to face I will explain them calmly and show them the best side of me xD