He's going tomorrow... When will it get easier??
Well this is it. After weeks of unconfirmed travel dates and glimmers of hope (admittedly mostly in my head!) that he may not go, my special guy is getting on a flight tomorrow lunchtime from the UK to China, and perhaps most upsettingly, with no confirmed return date! 
I saw him last week - both of us have been really busy - but with an intention that we would meet again this coming week, with him travelling next weekend. BUT he called me at work yesterday to tell me the flight had been brought forward to tomorrow, and so we wouldn't have time to catch up as he hadn't even begun to pack etc - OK so I'm gutted not to see him, but to be honest I didn't know if I could hold it together if I did, so perhaps for the best?? I've also been telling myself (perhaps wrongly?) that the sooner he goes the sooner he'll be back - his contract was originally for five months, but he's gone a few weeks later than planned, so not sure if this means he'll still be away for five months, or more like four. Is it wrong to be sooooooooo frustrated that they (the university sending him to teach) haven't told him when he's coming back??
On the bright side (maybe?), I went to a friend's house last night for a 'psychic night' and the lovely clairvoyant told me he'll be fine, but will come back something of a changed man (I know he has some stuff to deal with, if this thing is ever to become more of a relationship than a friendship - not sure if it ever will, but he needs to if it ever will), that he won't enjoy it as much as he expected to (not like Spain where he worked previously - plenty of beer and football!!), and will come back early (she didn't know how early).
BUT I'm still a wreck and missing him like crazy already!! OMG, he's just posted a message on Facebook telling all his blokey mates how much he loves them and will miss them (typical footbally and beery bloke that he is - I actually love that whole 'bromance' aspect of him!) - so I'm now sobbing like an idiot!! For the record he won't say anything like that to me - it's nothing personal and doesn't mean he doesn't care, just where we are in the whole 'awkward' stage of our lovely friendship, where things are getting a bit deeper and scarier. Rather than publicly, I'll send him a private text around the time he checks in just saying stay safe / I'll miss you etc - all very odd, but we both know what's beneath the words.
So question: when will it stop feeling so painful? When will I stop wanting to get on a plane and fetch him back, or at least want to hang onto his ankles and stop him from getting on the plane in the first place??!! I know I need to hold things together while he's away - I'll be running our business!! - which is going to be tricky if I'm crying for five months!! So when will it get easier?? And what keeps you going - is it simply the wonderful memory of him being here and the even more wonderful anticipation of him coming back?? How do I look at his photo and not sob my heart out every day?? (Right now, not sure.)
El aka 'sobbing wreck of UK'...
I saw him last week - both of us have been really busy - but with an intention that we would meet again this coming week, with him travelling next weekend. BUT he called me at work yesterday to tell me the flight had been brought forward to tomorrow, and so we wouldn't have time to catch up as he hadn't even begun to pack etc - OK so I'm gutted not to see him, but to be honest I didn't know if I could hold it together if I did, so perhaps for the best?? I've also been telling myself (perhaps wrongly?) that the sooner he goes the sooner he'll be back - his contract was originally for five months, but he's gone a few weeks later than planned, so not sure if this means he'll still be away for five months, or more like four. Is it wrong to be sooooooooo frustrated that they (the university sending him to teach) haven't told him when he's coming back??
On the bright side (maybe?), I went to a friend's house last night for a 'psychic night' and the lovely clairvoyant told me he'll be fine, but will come back something of a changed man (I know he has some stuff to deal with, if this thing is ever to become more of a relationship than a friendship - not sure if it ever will, but he needs to if it ever will), that he won't enjoy it as much as he expected to (not like Spain where he worked previously - plenty of beer and football!!), and will come back early (she didn't know how early).
BUT I'm still a wreck and missing him like crazy already!! OMG, he's just posted a message on Facebook telling all his blokey mates how much he loves them and will miss them (typical footbally and beery bloke that he is - I actually love that whole 'bromance' aspect of him!) - so I'm now sobbing like an idiot!! For the record he won't say anything like that to me - it's nothing personal and doesn't mean he doesn't care, just where we are in the whole 'awkward' stage of our lovely friendship, where things are getting a bit deeper and scarier. Rather than publicly, I'll send him a private text around the time he checks in just saying stay safe / I'll miss you etc - all very odd, but we both know what's beneath the words.
So question: when will it stop feeling so painful? When will I stop wanting to get on a plane and fetch him back, or at least want to hang onto his ankles and stop him from getting on the plane in the first place??!! I know I need to hold things together while he's away - I'll be running our business!! - which is going to be tricky if I'm crying for five months!! So when will it get easier?? And what keeps you going - is it simply the wonderful memory of him being here and the even more wonderful anticipation of him coming back?? How do I look at his photo and not sob my heart out every day?? (Right now, not sure.)
El aka 'sobbing wreck of UK'...
This time - not having a specific return date/time - I haven't got a little countdown widget on my phone, which feels a bit weird, but to be honest seeing more than 150 days ticking down might have driven me mad anyway. 22 weeks (-ish) doesn't sound much better, so I'm trying not to think of the duration... not sure if this is a good/bad thing yet... Plenty to do, so hopefully keeping my mind off the 'numbers' and focused on the future (with him).
Obviously from my side it means Skype/ email is going to be a no-go until he gets a new one (and can hopefully download the software out there!), but from his it means no Football Manager 'game' or TV/movies to keep him occupied - I have visions of him staring at a blank wall, not knowing what to do with himself!! 
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