I Dont know what just happened, so upset

[Spazzo246]

Oh, it does not really sound like she thought it was ok to date several people simultaniously. If so, she would not have started doing so right away, not after nearly six months and after saying lots of exclusive stuff. It sounds more like she got involved and then used another guy to divert herself from that fact. It is classical commitment phobia behaviour to start cheating when things are good, because they really panic over their own emotions.

she was really close with this other guy and i notices that she was talking to him and interacting with him alot more on tumblr/skype i never wanted to bring it up cause i wasnt sure how she would take it. anyway i know now..

[Spazzo246]

If they did not have the "talk" you can't really call it cheating. I just think it is somewhat unfair to do to someone when you most likely know they think you are exclusive. Lesson learned, always ask, never assume. If you don't ask, it really is not cheating, but it is also not someone I would ever want to date. If you care for someone you don't do things you know will lead to them getting hurt regardless of semantics of whether you are in the right or wrong.

there were so many things i was unsure with and i was hesitant to ask anything becuase i was unsure as to how she would take it, i know now that i should always ask if something doesnt seem right. lots of the stuff she told me was very extreme and new things popped up every month or so. also i should add both times when she was meant to come and visit me were both canceled by some reason. this also added to the suspicion

anyway i have learned so much from this first "relationship" if you can call it that. and i know what to do when i get into my next relationship at some stage of my life

[Spazzo246]

All the assumptions and unanswered questions i had are all making sense now. i have learnt so much from this.

[piratemama]

she was really close with this other guy and i notices that she was talking to him and interacting with him alot more on tumblr/skype i never wanted to bring it up cause i wasnt sure how she would take it. anyway i know now..

I'm new to Skype. How do you tell when your SO is interacting with someone else on Skype?

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

I'm new to Skype. How do you tell when your SO is interacting with someone else on Skype?

That's a good question. My history only shows the interaction between us, and any other friends I've talked to. How would you be able to see your SO's history?

[Spazzo246]

Bot of them would take screenshots and post them on tumblr. She never did this with me only him.

[Hollandia]

I think she took advantage of the situation, but now you know, you are right, never assume and always ask. It is better to be disappointed early on than heartbroken later. If you want a exclusive relationship with someone, ask them. If they say yes, then anything she did would be cheating pure and simple. People that cheat, well they cheat, and they are good at covering their tracks. They are also not the type of people you want to spend your life with. You got out fairly unscathed, and now you know what to take from this for your future relationships.

You deserve better and when the right person comes around, you will find them. Until then, enjoy dating. Don't let this sour your outlook on relationships. I would take a bullet for my SO and I know he would do the same. THAT is what makes the risks worth it.

[Spazzo246]

Just thought I would update you all on the situation. Basically I spoke to her and she wasn't ready emptionally for a relationship. She held in all this stuff and was so insecure about herself she just exploded and wasn't sure what to do with herself. She also felt that she wasn't playing the good role as a girlfriend and that contributed to it all as we'll. she re added me on Facebook and Skype and is going to try to explain it more in detail.

But now I'm stuck with another dilemma. im having mixed thoughts on all this. on one side i want to start a relationship again at some stage becuase she was the greatest person i ever met and we had so much in common. but on the other hand i dont really want to have anything to do with her anymore becuase im not sure if i can trust her with anything.

[CanadianGirl]

I think a few days isn't enough to make a meaningful difference. People can be insecure without cheating and lying about it with someone else's heart on the line. If she's not ready for commitment, I don't think she'll be able to picture that future time when she is ready. I think you should let this go instead of waiting indefinitely on a girl who strung you along.

EDIT: My post makes less sense after your edit, but regardless, you've known her for 6 months (can I assume it was all online?). The first little while after meeting a new person, the love hormones are so high, you'll think they were made specifically for you when you really just have superficial things in common. You'll find that again, and with someone ready to love you back like you deserve.