In Need of Advice

[LittleBox]

I think you need to take a deep breath and not get ahead of yourself. 8 months is still quite new, you have a long way to go before you decide who moves where and a lot of planning that goes into it too. However, its not a bad idea to start talking about it and see where the conversation leads you. Let be a two-way dialogue and maybe work on a pro-con list so that he doesn't feel like you're trying to tug him into moving to your state just because it would be easier for you. You've both got reasons to state in your own states that each of you thinks is equally important. Your family and friends will always have their own opinions but don't let them influence you. You know your relationship best and need to trust your instinct on it.

You're only going to be spending 5 days with him. Chances are he wants to spend quality time with you and make the most of your together time. Go forth with an open mind and you might very well be surprised by what he has planned for your visit. Enjoy the moments you get to spend together and take advantage of it to have a proper serious conversion with him.

Have you tried setting aside time for each other on weekends? If weekdays are too hectic and are burning him out then perhaps you can push your calls/Skype sessions to the weekend and give each other a one-hour time slot that works for both of you. Although, it is great that he's making an effort to speak to you. In his mind he's seeing that as being enough but its a quality vs. quantity issue.

Good luck with everything!

[BraveTangledPrincess]

If I were you, and visiting his hometown for the first time, I'd want to see where he lives. If you want to be a tourist, be a tourist in his town.

Maybe he would prefer this too but doesn't know how to tell you because you seem to be set on visiting these two other places.

That is a really good way of putting it. Thank you.

[BraveTangledPrincess]

I think you need to take a deep breath and not get ahead of yourself. 8 months is still quite new, you have a long way to go before you decide who moves where and a lot of planning that goes into it too. However, its not a bad idea to start talking about it and see where the conversation leads you. Let be a two-way dialogue and maybe work on a pro-con list so that he doesn't feel like you're trying to tug him into moving to your state just because it would be easier for you. You've both got reasons to state in your own states that each of you thinks is equally important. Your family and friends will always have their own opinions but don't let them influence you. You know your relationship best and need to trust your instinct on it.

You're only going to be spending 5 days with him. Chances are he wants to spend quality time with you and make the most of your together time. Go forth with an open mind and you might very well be surprised by what he has planned for your visit. Enjoy the moments you get to spend together and take advantage of it to have a proper serious conversion with him.

Have you tried setting aside time for each other on weekends? If weekdays are too hectic and are burning him out then perhaps you can push your calls/Skype sessions to the weekend and give each other a one-hour time slot that works for both of you. Although, it is great that he's making an effort to speak to you. In his mind he's seeing that as being enough but its a quality vs. quantity issue.

Good luck with everything!

I know 8 months isn't long, but we are also LDS (Mormon) and it seems with everyone in the church, they think "you have been dating for 8 months? Why aren't you married?" So, we are taking it slow. I have insecurities from my last relationship, so I know I'm over reacting, I just want to make sure that this is right.

Since my last post, you have been the most helpful. I appreciate it, Thank you.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

I know 8 months isn't long, but we are also LDS (Mormon) and it seems with everyone in the church, they think "you have been dating for 8 months? Why aren't you married?" So, we are taking it slow. I have insecurities from my last relationship, so I know I'm over reacting, I just want to make sure that this is right.

Since my last post, you have been the most helpful. I appreciate it, Thank you.

I agree with the other posters, don't let your friends, family, or the Church, take precedence over decisions you and your SO need to make as a couple. I was LDS, so I know all about the pressures Mormons face, even when it's nobody's business but yours. Take it slow, and let advice of your friends go in one ear and out the other. From what you have written, it's too early to worry about closing the distance. Just enjoy each other, accept that communication in LDR isn't always going to be easy, and there may be times that life gets in the way, and you can't have as much contact as you might like.

Truthfully, I see no red flags, but you need to be more flexible, and plan your visits to see HIM, not go demanding for him to be a tourist guide and take you to tourist destinations that are going to take too much time, effort, and money, and involve traveling outside of his home town. All of that can wait for later.