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please tell me i'm not overreacting

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    #1

    please tell me i'm not overreacting

    Ok so if you have been reading my threads you probably know whats kinda going on with my SO and I. Well i am so frustrated with the fact that he does not talk to me. I get up at 6 everymorning and i mean there is a 2 hr time difference but am i asking too much for him to just send me a quick text like when
    He is up for the day or just a goodnight text or even a have a good day text. I dont get anything most days and he doesnt talk to me sometimes till 7 in the evening as im winding down or at work and this is all just texting.

    Im trying to be patient, im trying to say he is busy but i mean if he has time for his friends he should have time for me
    Am i being dramatic i told him i couldnt handle him not making time for me because it literally is making me ill. What should i do? Please help...
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    #2
    Does he text his friends early in the morning?
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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      #3
      I wouldn't be able to go whole days without keeping in touch somehow (unless I read you wrong).. Have you brought this up specifically with him?
      Last edited by CanadianGirl; March 5, 2014, 05:43 PM.

      Married: June 9th, 2015

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        #4
        I have many times he just makes excuses

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          #5
          So he talks to you every evening?
          I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
          - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



          "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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            #6
            Hi!

            You are not overreacting, I totally understand your frustration! Maybe he cannot afford to message you and doesn't want to tell you? Do you text him through the day? If yes, does he reply?

            You know, some guys are just a little "dumb" and don't realize how much we need this gesture. I don't know your boyfriend, but maybe you should tell him about this? Have you already tried? He is the only one who can make it, so perhaps a talk about it would help.

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              #7
              You know i seem to have this conversation with him every other day, i am really at the point of leaving him just because we cant have a LDR and get to know each other more if he wont talk to me. I did tell him how i feel and i continue to and he is almost impossible because nothing seems different day after day. I'm really at my wits end. Has anyone dealt with this and overcome it? If so how did you get him to understand that you need his attention? I really dont wanna leave him but i dont know how to deal with this and not let this affect me so much.

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                #8
                Well he will text me late in the day earliest 7 as late as 10 and usually i go to bed at around 9:30 and he sleeps till 4 or later in the evening. Im tired of it ya know.

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                  #9
                  I do think you are overreacting. People have different styles of communication. Just because you need communication constantly, doesn't mean he does.

                  You need to have a real sit down chat with him and tell him what you need. You also much be willing to compromise. If you aren't getting texts most days, why not compromise in him texting you at least once a day, but whenever he can?
                  "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by JC2122 View Post
                    Well he will text me late in the day earliest 7 as late as 10 and usually i go to bed at around 9:30 and he sleeps till 4 or later in the evening. Im tired of it ya know.
                    Does he sleep that late because of a work schedule?

                    It seems like you may be overreacting if so. My SO is 3 hours behind me, and when he works overnight shifts, sometimes I'm lucky to hear from him more than a text a day until his string of overnights are done and he's back to a "normal" schedule.

                    Either way, compromise is key. If it bothers you, then you guys need to have a talk and come up with a solution, even if it's "I'll text you when I wake up and before I go to sleep." Which is the compromise my SO and I have when he works.

                    First Met Online: October 2010
                    First Confessed Feelings: December 21, 2011
                    Became a "Couple": January 7, 2012
                    First Meeting: March 9-14, 2012
                    Second Meeting: July 16-31, 2012
                    Closed the Distance: May 30, 2013
                    Engaged!: June 1, 2013
                    Picking out wedding dates now!

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                      #11
                      I don't think you are overreacting so much as approaching things wrong. Often when we are upset about things and we hammer it it sounds naggy to them. I find asking him for one sit down to talk and explaining what you need and how important it is to you is the best method. Because this does matter, especially in a long distance relationship. It is how you feel connected.

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                        #12
                        My advice would be to stop texting him for a little while and see if that changes things. If he always gets texts from you and updates on how your life is going, he'll probably feel like you guys have good communication (even if it is one way) because you're making things easy for him. If he doesn't hear from you then he'll have to reach out in order to find out what's going on in your life. If he doesn't reach out and you basically stop hearing from him, then that also tells you something.

                        I do agree that you should tell him what you need, but if you have already done that then further conversation could make him feel like you're nagging him (he will be less inclined to do it then).

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                          #13
                          I don't know your character, so I cannot tell if to get messages from him as much as you wish is just thing you cannot continue a relationship without, but I wouldn't give up yet. When me and my SO started to date, he wasn't able to receive/send any messages on/out his phone, so when he worked, I basically didn't hear from him the entire day. And I remember it was tough.

                          There are new things that make me frustrated now, a lot of little details, and even after talks, the advice I get from my bf is to be patient and accept he cannot do them. So I understand how tough it is for you to bring it up over and over with no result. If you are sure he cares about you, loves you and is honest, I wouldn't break up with him and just waited and gave him time. I have been dealing with similar things for 7 months, so I can tell you it is possible, despite the fact it really sucks!

                          Anyway, I hope your situation turns out better soon and you won't feel so miserable about it!

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                            #14
                            To clarify he doesnt sleep late because he works he currently works part time. The rest of the time he spends with his friends. He will stay up with them every night till 3 in the morning or later. And then sleep all day. It jusy isnt fair to me to have to compete with his friends. I am so close to telling him to be in a relationship with them and walk away.

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                              #15
                              That kind of does sound bad if he's choosing to stay up that late with his friends and that's why he is sleeping later. Maybe you can talk to him and sort out a compromise, like he could hang out with his friends a few days a week but you two can have a 'date night' a few nights a week too. Though if he is in the stay up late behavior then it might be hard for him to get up early.. but relationships need that communication.. so I think he should be willing to try to work in some more communication. Since he works part time, he will have more time off, so he should be able to spend time talking to you.. if he isn't trying to make an effort to talk to you more, then I feel rather helpless about your situation to be honest. Though he might get better in time.. so maybe try some more to arrange to talk to him.. in a casual sort of way just tell him that you would like to talk to him more and get to know him more because you are in a relationship with him.. and maybe suggest a few ideas and also ask if he has other suggestions.. so it gives him the ability to choose.. like could he hang out with his friends only 2-3 days a week or something and talk to you on the other days? I feel like he is being rather immature with placing his friends over his girlfriend.. I hope you can work something out!

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