please tell me i'm not overreacting

[JC2122]

I thank everyone who has posted a response, just knowing that I do have a legit reason for complaining makes me feel a bit better...Still I am very stressed about the situation and wish I could make him understand, but I suppose I can be patient for a bit longer and see if his lightbulb comes on. Additionally we have date night once a week on friday nights after I've workes 13 hrs, but I mean its better then nothing. I guess this is so difficult because ive neve had a bf talk to me so little, it just bugs ms alot.

[JC2122]

I should add, that actually today he told me I deserve better and I asked what do you mean and he said I dont want to lose you but you deserve someone who will take more time for you, and i asked will that ever be you and he told me he was trying.

[squeeker]

I should add, that actually today he told me I deserve better and I asked what do you mean and he said I dont want to lose you but you deserve someone who will take more time for you, and i asked will that ever be you and he told me he was trying.

hmm well that sounds good that he is trying.. maybe there's a difficulty on his end that he can't see.. or maybe he is struggling to be his own person and say "no" to his friends when they want to hang out .. maybe he is having trouble balancing it because he maybe feels if he says 'no' to hanging out with them or asks to leave early so he can sleep, he will feel self conscious. I think it's something he has to work through though because he needs to set aside more time to talk to you. At least you do talk though. I hope things get better..

[Ahava]

If I remember correctly you too have know each other for two weeks?

[80anthea]

You've been together such a short time, LDRs are tough. I suggest if something like this, so early on, is frustrating you so much, then an LDR isn't for you.

[differentcountries]

You have been together a short time. Your SO says he will try to change his habits for you. Those are good things. It means you will have time to create new ways of doing things together, if you plan on staying together long. I know it is easy to loose patience in the beginning. When you are far away, you have to be a bit clever. You have to experiment with different ways of doing things. In the beginning , SO did not text me much - we Skyped for 2+ hours every evening though. Even that habit was hard to change after a while (we had to...we did not get enough sleep). But we started using Facebook Messanger more, and Viber. Those have more uppertunities for emicons, and I think he felt that was more fun! So, by all means talk about the way you are in contact and what might approve if you did something different the both of you.

Anyway, it seems texting is the least of your challenges. It sounds like he is part time unemployed, and spending too much time with his friends (geeking? drinking?), and shifting the hours around. It is ok to ask him to to some changes. However you should do so with respect for him. He will not be motivated to change otherwise. How did you fall for him? What do you like about him? How can those features stand out even more if he does some changes in his life? Like; maybe if he worked more, had a helthy hobby that did not turn day into night, or studied that would be a pointer to your future, or could even make sure he could come to visit, or be able to be your host if you visited.

[snow]

My advice would be to stop texting him for a little while and see if that changes things. If he always gets texts from you and updates on how your life is going, he'll probably feel like you guys have good communication (even if it is one way) because you're making things easy for him. If he doesn't hear from you then he'll have to reach out in order to find out what's going on in your life. If he doesn't reach out and you basically stop hearing from him, then that also tells you something.

I do agree that you should tell him what you need, but if you have already done that then further conversation could make him feel like you're nagging him (he will be less inclined to do it then).

This is more to you, than the OP: Games like these are never going to work, especially when you are this fresh in a relationship. There is no way he can know her well enough to know that when she stops texting she is upset. Communication is key - and yes it gets said everyday on this forum, but it is true. Stopping to text him is not going to suddenly make him realize he has to change, only talking will do.

To the OP:
I honestly see two ways here. You have been dating for 2 weeks!
You can a) break it off and move on, as you are probably not that emotionally involved yet and would get over it quicker the sooner you get out of the relationship - if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.
or b) try to make this work by trying to figure out what works best for the both of you. Maybe texting is not really his thing and he would much rather talk to you, or skype with you. Try asking him how he would want to spend time with you. What is he doing into the wee hours of the morning? Can you two work out date days, where it is just you and him? You say you go to bed early, maybe you can ask him to spend an hour with you before bed, since you go to bed much earlier than he does.

[JC2122]

Well now we have been together longer then the previous posts, he calls me once a week. Should I settle for a once a week phone call and deal with the sporadic texts the other 6 days?

[snow]

Well now we have been together longer then the previous posts, he calls me once a week. Should I settle for a once a week phone call and deal with the sporadic texts the other 6 days?

This is nothing we can decide. Can you?

[Mims27]

Well now we have been together longer then the previous posts, he calls me once a week. Should I settle for a once a week phone call and deal with the sporadic texts the other 6 days?

I have to agree with snow on this...
What are YOU ok with? If that's not enough communication for you then you need to figure out what is and talk to your SO about it. We can't tell you what is or what is not ok. That's up to you do decide.

[Malaga]

Well now we have been together longer then the previous posts, he calls me once a week. Should I settle for a once a week phone call and deal with the sporadic texts the other 6 days?

My SO rarely calls, we mostly text. We're both more comfortable with it.

Has he always been like that, or is it a change from how it was in the beginning? It sounds like he came on too strong too fast and is starting to cool now. Especially as you've been together for less than a month. There is no tactics to make him fall in love with you. I think you'd be best off if you moved on. Someone who is so flaky so early on just isn't worth it IMO.

[differentcountries]

I would not be happy with hearing his voice only once a week, I am used to Skyping or calling almost every evening. How long is the call? Do you feel close when you call, is it /could it be enough to last a week? The texting you do do; is it interesting/intimate? Could he do other stuff you like - e-mails, gifts, letters, joining a site together etc? The point is how often you are in contact, but the connection you are able to hold on to or build together. I find that questions (google; 100 questions for lovers or similar) are very useful, anyway this site has a lot of tips on how to connect, some of them may work for you.

[nottheprincesspeach]

You've been together such a short time, LDRs are tough. I suggest if something like this, so early on, is frustrating you so much, then an LDR isn't for you.

I wouldn't jump THIS far, but I would say perhaps this particular LDR isn't for you.

Edit to add: It is important to note that what is above about figuring out what you need and communicating that is important, but having support systems and hanging out and doing things is also important. Finding that balance is a challenge in most every LDR.

[BabyGund]

But yet, I can go a whole week WITHOUT hearing his voice. We haven't Skyped or talked to each other in person since last Friday or Saturday, I think? And I had never heard his voice before we met for the first time in October. So it CAN be done.

JC2122 do you have friends you can go hang out with? It also sounds a bit like you are looking to him to fill in some gaps and time for you...one piece of advice always given is to stay busy with your own life so you don't pine away for him.

[JC2122]

I think im gonna end it today, im giving up. Idk what else to do. I even asked if he could write me a letter when we first started talking when i had doubts he was real he said he would but it would take a while because his writing is bad. All he does is make excuses idk what to do. I sent him a break up email but i was sick after that and he cried so we got back together. Idk how to handle this. Im actually very busy but i always have acess to my phone. I work 2 jobs and volunteer full time. Its just so ugh!