I want to feel sexy!

[FromTheHeart]

I don't know how your SO's culture is, since I see he is from Hungary. I know that some men do not like to use the term sexy outside the bedroom, as they think of it as objectifying women and as degrading. I think if anything it is a respect thing. Being cute is definitely a compliment. I know you want to feel desired. I think most of us do, if not all of us. But, sometimes it's tough to change who someone is. I am also someone who looks much younger than their age, so I feel your frustration.

Yes, he is Hungarian. I think part of the problem is a language thing. He speaks good English generally, but I think sometimes he can't think in the same words and terms as a native English speaker would. I do appreciate that he thinks I am cute and I know he loves me. It's just one of those insecurity things for me..

[FromTheHeart]

Oh my! I am very short/petite and have always looked waaaay younger than I am. And, I was called 'cute' until I was 40 years old. I, also, got tired of it.

I started thinking sexy thoughts/reading sexy books, buying sexy (yet decent) clothing, got to know my own body and what I liked (which also made me think sexy thoughts) and, over time, I began walking/talking with confidence about myself which gave off a sexy aura.

It takes time, but it worked.

I love your attitude (and I am glad I am not alone)! I think I should do things that make me feel sexy and not rely on him saying it to feel good about myself. Thanks for the tips

[FromTheHeart]

I get told that I'm cute/adorable all the time.. but I rarely hear the word 'sexy'. He'll say it very rarely, but I don't really need him to tell me as long as he can show me. Little gestures and comments can mean a lot too, even if the words "you're sexy" are never actually said.

You have a good point. Just because he doesn't say it often, doesn't mean he doesn't think it...I said doesn't one too many times I think LOL

[FromTheHeart]

Exactly!

I second that!

[summerkid]

And you are right, I can't make him responsible for my insecurities and I have to gain self-confidence. I want him to call me sexy because he really wants to and not because he feels like he is "obligated" to. Anyway, I will be with him again in a few months and we shall see if it improves

Perhaps he means a lot of things with "cute". As a non-native english speaker, I used to have a tendency to use nice to express a lot of things, from the really impressive to the more plain. Nice had a wide range for me. As some of the others have said, perhaps he doesn't want to offend you.

I don't know a lot of Hungarians, but what I understand their language is very rich and expressive, especially when it comes to "sexy talk". So I think the potential is there... you just need to tap into it is he maybe uncomfortable to speak to you that way? does he think you are a shier person? Maybe he has an impression that women are shier creatures ( I know a lot of eastern european men who think they'd scare a "respectable" woman away if they talked to her like that, or that they have to behave a certain way around women). There are a lot of reasons why he wouldn'T call you "sexy", not because he doesn't want to.

I also understand preferring to enjoy things in person... but you have a while to go until you are in person. And you should really give some things a try before you decide you don't like them. So, as I said, perhaps there are other reasons behind why he feels like he can't dirty talk with you. But maybe it would help both of you and the relationship if you tried to explore that together.