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;( what have i done ????

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    ;( what have i done ????

    So we talked. And i told him everything that bothered me, how he didnt seem to care anymore and how i really cant do the distance any longer if we never talk.
    ;( and he completely freaked out and told me to just leave him if i dont love him anymore, which just isnt true. I love him more than anything ever but i just felt disrespected and havee some trust issues and wanted to solve this. And he cried so much and kept on telling me i should just dump him and he would just go kill himself and what not.
    now hes in hospital, had a heart attack ;( ;( ;(
    He has a heart problem since he was born and had surgery on his heart 2 years ago..im so worried and i feel so guilty ;(
    maybe i shouldnt have brought it up at all? Maybe i was just overdramatisizing everything and exaggerrating a bit much? ;(
    Oh god i feel so helpless and lonely and so guilty im such a horrible person and i dont think i can ever forgive myself i almost killed the only person ive ever really loved ;(

    #2
    all you did was tell him how you were feeling which is what your supposed to do in a LDR and any relationship for that matter, non of this is your fault since he has heart problems it was gonna happen anyway cause he was most likely stressed before you called. It's not your fault, you couldn't have known that was gonna happen! thoughts, love and light going his way hope he gets better soon *Huggles*

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      #3
      I agree with Caitlin.
      Is there any way you can go see him in hospital?

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        #4
        You told him how you felt...being honest and open in a relationship is very important...

        I wish you luck....
        NY to Texas Married on...August 17th, 2013

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          #5
          It's not your fault he took it the way he did, the heart attack may or may not be related. It sounds like he has some serious problems if he threatened suicide over you calmly trying to make sure you both were happy.

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            #6
            Hun, I know you feel like it's your fault, but it's not. It's an unfortunate coincidence, but anything could have tipped him over if he was that close. I can't comment on if you were over-dramatizing, but I think you know your own feelings well enough to know if you were telling the truth. Frankly, it sounds to me like he didn't handle it well and it's just as much his fault he was put in this predicament in the first place, especially if he's freaking out as bad as you say.

            Give it some time. And way big *hugs*


            LFAD Book Challenge: 34/100 Complete

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              #7
              Hun, I know you feel like it's your fault, but it's not. It's an unfortunate coincidence, but anything could have tipped him over if he was that close. I can't comment on if you were over-dramatizing, but I think you know your own feelings well enough to know if you were telling the truth. Frankly, it sounds to me like he didn't handle it well and it's just as much his fault he was put in this predicament in the first place, especially if he's freaking out as bad as you say.

              Give it some time. And way big *hugs*


              LFAD Book Challenge: 34/100 Complete

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                #8
                It's not your fault.
                It's very important that you're able to tell your SO how you feel, even though it might not always be positive. Communication is the key.
                If you kept these feelings bottled up, it could just harm your relationship later on. I think it's important that you're able to be happy and honest in a relationship. The way he reacted doesn't seem fair to you. You should be able to have a good conversation about your problems. Since if you don't discuss it, how are things going to change?

                I'm sorry to hear about his heart though. I hope he recovers fully and you will be able to talk this through.
                And both once again become happy, since it really sounds like you both still love each other.
                I wish you and him the best.

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                  #9
                  I'm sorry you SO is in the hospital. You must be so worried and wish you were with him. Though, it is not your fault. Based on what you said it seems like you just told him how you felt, which is what needs to be done to have a healthy relationship. It seems like he possibly jumped to some conclusions that made him very upset.

                  Once he is on the mend it may be a good idea to talk to him about how to approach the issues that you have. Also NEVER blame him always link your emotions to his actions. When you all-encompassingly blame his he will likely get defensive. When you have a problem it is best that neither of you get defensive about it. It makes solving to problem that much easier. Also always be willing to compromise. When you tell him what you want/need try from a little more that you actually need. That gives him room to compromise with you.

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                    #10
                    It's not your fault at all. In any kind of relationship you need to be able to express how you're feeling. What happened with your boyfriend is just a unfortunate coincidence. I hope all works out *hugs*

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                      #11
                      thank you guys for your support...im so lost right now, i didnt get a hold of him yet, and theres no one i could call since his mum is in greece atm and his friends dont know in which hospital he is

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                        #12
                        It isnt your fault and things will work themselves out


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                          #13
                          What's happened it's not your fault. The thing living with a heart decease is that you never know what's gonna trigger it. He's in hospital now and in good hands I'm sure.

                          The way he reacted to what you said to him indicates that his got some problems, that kind of behaviour is not normal.


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                            #14
                            Is not your fault, you communicated and you have no control about his reactions. I hope you can find out more about him, and I hope he gets better soon.

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                              #15
                              I've dealt with this also, on Tuesday night I told my SO everything that bothered me and I took it overboard, I was like what you did to me hurt a million times worse then my parents abandoning me, etc. She broke up with me, I was like WTF HAVE I DONE, sometimes when we try to get things off our chest, we take it overboard, next time think about what you're saying beforehand, maybe give him a warning? I'm sure you haven't killed him, he has health problems. Just be there for him, call his hospital room, send him a buncch of get well cards one for everyday he's in the hospital, etc. Just be sweet.
                              Met: 1.20.09 (At School)
                              Starting Dating: 5.22.09
                              Been an LDR since: 8.17.10 (3 hours distance)
                              Last Time I saw my SO: 10.02.10
                              Next time I will see my SO: 10.14.10

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