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    Silent treatment??

    Hi guys!
    Me and my other have known each other for over a year and we've been a couple for 5 months..(it's our 2nd relationship) We met at a penpal site btw..

    We talk about everything about ourselves. And he's the only person that I can lean on when I have a hard time(even though we haven't met yet) We even started calling each other and we both felt we've become closer than before.

    The problem is the only picture that I have is the one on the penpal site he posted 2 years so I asked him for a new one. He said he'll tell his instagram account once he makes it. A few weeks later I asked him for his account and he said "noneofyourbusiness"(like a joke) I thought maybe he isn't ready to tell me so I decided to ask him later on the phone, which was 2 days ago. We were talking on the phone being lovey dovey and then I asked him why won't he let me know his account and he suddenly stopped talking and told me to go to bed. I got upset so I hung up the phone. And when I woke up I sent him a message saying that I'm sorry if I made him feel bad. But really, am I the one who did wrong? Anyways, no reply. The next day, I sent him another saying "seems you haven't read my text yet. Hope you do soon today" and still, no reply. It's been 2 days and to me it feels like 2 weeks.

    He's never done this kind of "silent treatment" before.(if that's what it is) We'd been so lovey dovey especially during this month and him acting like this just makes me go nuts. Should I wait till he texts back? If he does, what should I tell him? I love him so much but sometimes I feel like he's my emotion controller and I just don't know what to do..

    BTW the last time we called he said that he doesn't know what kind of girl I am since we haven't met in person but from what he can gather through our talks he thinks I'm cool and cute. And he also said he feels insecure sometimes but he won't tell me what he's insecure about. Do you think this could be a reason why he won't let me know his account?

    Oh and I don't think he'll cheat on me 'cause he had been cheated on last year by his ex and his dad. But he told me a few weeks ago that he misses having intercourse so much but he said he could contain himself. I'm just so confused right now and I really want to communicate with him but I don't think he'll reply.

    We've had some fights in the past but he never gave me the silent treatment before.
    Last edited by skgirl; March 29, 2014, 10:55 PM. Reason: too long

    #2
    The fact that you have seen only 1 picture of him that is 2 years old is a major red flag to me. I'm sorry to say but I'm 99% certain this guy isn't the guy he has claimed to be these past 6 months. His defensive and almost passive-agressive behavior towards you when you ask for a new picture gives me this feeling.

    Ever heard of the show Catfish (the TV Show, from MTV)? If not, check an episode of that show to learn how you can figure out if your SO is perhaps a "catfish" (= someone who persues a romantic relationship online under a false idenitity).
    Right now I feel your SO definity could be a catfish.

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      #3
      To add to my previous post;

      Ask yourself this; what do you REALLY know for sure about your SO and his idenitity? I assume you know his full name? If so, I'd google-search his full name right now and see what you find.

      You can also use google to seach for the source of your SO's picture that you have seen. Go to google image search and drag-and-drop your SO's picture in the search bar.

      You can also google his phone number to find out who his number really belongs to.

      Ofcourse if you want to be really open and honest with him you could flat out ask him if he is hiding something, and tell him that you get the feeling he does hide something.
      Last edited by Luc; March 29, 2014, 11:07 PM.

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        #4
        Well I know his ex girlfriend's instagram. She posted a picture of their chats when he called it off.( She deleted that picture now btw) Do you think I should ask her?

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          #5
          Ask her what?

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            #6
            About him?

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              #7
              Oh never mind I think that's stupid

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                #8
                It is not unreasonable to get a recent picture of him. If that is problematic, ask him why. If he wants to be close he will find a solution.
                I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

                Comment


                  #9
                  All I see are red flags....time to move on, honey. This man is not the man you think he is. Please be careful......
                  sigpic

                  I love him. Forever. And every day after that.

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                    #10
                    I don't like that he just cuts you off and sends you to bed when a topic comes up that he doesn't want to talk about. How old is he?
                    What happens after a longer time where you don't talk? Does he message you at some point or is it you that has to break the silence and make him talk to you?

                    Asking for a recent picture is not out of place at all. In a LDR this is all you can get. I would not let off on this - he has to show you a new picture of him. Who knows? This picture on the website could be of someone else, until he can prove it's him.

                    Relationship began: 05/22/2012
                    First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
                    Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
                    Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
                    Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
                    Married: 1/24/2015
                    Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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                      #11
                      To me it's a red flag that he has only shown 2 pictures I get privacy and stuff but the fact that you been with him that Long and only seen 2 pictures is weird to me. If you still have his old pictures saved run it to google search and see what comes up. See if it takes you to other profiles or what you may find. I just went through this with a friend who lied to me and it was sad how much this friend lied -_-

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                        #12
                        I wouldn't say to move on just yet, but I agree with what some of the above posters said. I don't think it was reasonable for him to act that way. It would be a good idea to negotiate with him. LDRs require a lot of maturity and honesty, but above all they require good communication skills.

                        Additionally, when you said that "he didn't know what kind of girl you were." Maybe you guys just need to get to know each other better?

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                          #13
                          Additionally, when you said that "he didn't know what kind of girl you were." Maybe you guys just need to get to know each other better?
                          To be honest I think this is just him projecting his own lies on her. I've seen people doing it before. My ex-girlfriend did it before we broke up, accusing me of cheating on her, and being suspicious, while in the end it turned out she was the one cheating, not me.

                          I really think this guy isn't who he claims to be, and I think the opening poster doesn't really know what person she's really dealing with here. There are just way too many red flags here, this "didn't know what kind of girl you were"-thing being one of them.

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                            #14
                            Definitely Skype! Don't get Lennae Kakua'd! I wouldn't trust someone who only showed two pictures in five years. That's ridiculous.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by ldrxoxo View Post
                              Definitely Skype! Don't get Lennae Kakua'd! I wouldn't trust someone who only showed two pictures in five years. That's ridiculous.
                              This might be an incredibly ignorant question, but what does that term mean?

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