I don't want to break up, but it seems to be the only reasonable option left...

[Luc]

I think you have been together for such a short time, 6 months, that you should still be in the honeymoon period and just wanting to talk to each other all the time.
It shouldn't have to be such hard work all the time.

6 months is short? Really? To me it isn't. My longest serious relationship I've had was 9 months and the so-called "honeymoon period" didn't last longer than 3 to 4 months in that relationship. For my current SO and I, I've noticed that the honeymoon period kinda blew over at the end of the 3rd month, then for some reason it came back in the 4th month but right now it's really really bad as you can tell from this thread.

I also think that normally in a relationship people should WANT to tell their stuff to their SO. For some of us it might be harder talking about difficult issues, but you can always practise. And if you aren't able to speak face to face you can always write.
It could be either that she is the kind of person who doesn't open up and doesn't know how to communicate or then the two of you just don't fit well together as a couple.

I agree with what you say. I personally think she's the kind of person who doesn't open up and doesn't know how to communicate. She never tells her friends anything. She only has 1 friend who she shares personal stuff with and even that friend often doesn't get to hear a whole lot about what is going on in her personal life (I know this because he is also my friend and sometimes we talk about my SO).

[Ahava]

We've been together with my guy for about 1,5 years and known each other for nearly two and I think I am still in the honeymoon period, not as lovey dovey mad about you as in the beginning, I can concentrate on other things too, but because of this been a ldr and you don't get to see each other that often the spark and excitement etc are still there. I still get excited and happy when he texts me/Skypes me.

From my experience in CD relationships the honeymoon period has lasted around 6 months, but that's when you get to see each other every few days if not every day.

[curious_gal518]

I'm sorry that you are going through a tough situation.

I had a similar experience to yours. What he did was that he was selfish in compromising with my needs. And in the end, he acted immaturely and didn't give me what I needed in a relationship. It was emotionally exhausting and my self-esteem was really low at that point. It happened for at least 1 and half years.

It will be painful, but maybe it's time for you to let go of her for now. I understand that you have to be there when she needs you the most, and vice versa. But it seems that she's not being there for you when you need her to communicate with you. She has to see you for what you're really worth, and she won't see you that way with her current mindset.

[Hollandia]

6 months is really not that long. If the honeymoon is over in 4 months... run.

[differentcountries]

We refer to the first two months as our honeymoon... We don't Skype for hours often anymore... and we get more sleep! We are still very much in love, but we also know each other better, like what to not say to each other, and more everyday stuff. It feels safer. If you are not on honeymoon now, you should feel settled, but clearly you are not.

Breaking off should be easy. You are different, that is what you can tell everyone. Or you can try to figure out more about her.

If you want to be with this girl, these are my tips for you:
1. No name calling or putting into boxes.
2. No arguing about who is more mature. Seriously don't go there.
3. Drop the lenghty convo. It clearly confuses her. Use short sentences!
4. Use Non Violent Communication. Focus on discribing the need, like your need to connect with her. The Skyping is just an aid to get to that.
5. Try to find out what are your main Love Languages. Is it touch, compliments, gifts, services for one another or time together?

[Deleted]

I think you need to offer yourself a sort of ultimatum here, but you need to stick to it. If you say "I'll give her just one more chance to get her shit together, you need to stick to it. Don't give her one more chance...and then one more change...etc. It's not fair to you if you keep getting hurt but you're doing your part in the relationships. I believe in second chances, but you need to know when the amount of chances you've given her are enough.

[differentcountries]

There is no good giving her (or yourself) chances if you don't do something different. Clearly she does not know how to bridge the communication gap. If you don' do it yourself, you might as well leave the relationship.

[kittyxuchiha11]

I'd love to say you can probably work it out with her but seeing the way she's treating you i don't think that's possible.
Let me just start by saying I've been in a relationship like this where they were being absolutely horrible to me and not giving me time at all and then calling me needy and attention seeking for wanting to even talk to them. i know how hard it is to say your SO is doing something wrong but really she is. no fiend, never mind girlfriend would speak to you that way. i know it's hard but please don't brush it off as her being a little bit defensive or that she's stressed or something like that.
I did that for about 5 months with my partner and she only got worse. because i kept apologising and saying it was my fault when it was really hers and she kept getting nastier and nastier until i eventually said something. except of course when i told her how she made me feel she just acted like i was being completely unreasonable and broke up with me.
So really, please please please do yourself a favour and end the heart break by breaking up with her. i know she probably means the worlds to you but in a while you'll look back and you'll realise that what she's doing is just wrong.

[Luc]

I'd love to say you can probably work it out with her but seeing the way she's treating you i don't think that's possible.
Let me just start by saying I've been in a relationship like this where they were being absolutely horrible to me and not giving me time at all and then calling me needy and attention seeking for wanting to even talk to them. i know how hard it is to say your SO is doing something wrong but really she is. no fiend, never mind girlfriend would speak to you that way. i know it's hard but please don't brush it off as her being a little bit defensive or that she's stressed or something like that.
I did that for about 5 months with my partner and she only got worse. because i kept apologising and saying it was my fault when it was really hers and she kept getting nastier and nastier until i eventually said something. except of course when i told her how she made me feel she just acted like i was being completely unreasonable and broke up with me.
So really, please please please do yourself a favour and end the heart break by breaking up with her. i know she probably means the worlds to you but in a while you'll look back and you'll realise that what she's doing is just wrong.

Man this post really hits home. I'm speechless. You describe it exactly how it is and your past experience sounds exactly like my current experience.

I will carefully consider these words over the upcoming days. I'm going to focus on my study now, and once I am at the end of this block and finished all my assignments, I'm going to prepare myself for a break-up. Until that time I'm just gonna put this whole relationship in the fridge (so to speak). If my SO turns around and somehow magically is willing to change things about herself and her situation, then I'd be more than willing to give her another chance. But if not then a break-up is inevitable.

[LovingFromADistance]

You're almost in the exact, (if not exact) situation I am in. The not thing is, he's a he. We have been together 10 months now. We're on the exact same stuff you are, the random fight as stuff, and he acts exactly like her.

I wouldn't say give up on your relationship, you must know some things about her past and what's on her plate. That's how I deal with my SO, It should work out. I was there at my 6 months, but it's been 4 months later. It's completely normal to go through this, like any other relationship.

[silvermoonfairy3]

You're almost in the exact, (if not exact) situation I am in. The not thing is, he's a he. We have been together 10 months now. We're on the exact same stuff you are, the random fight as stuff, and he acts exactly like her.

I wouldn't say give up on your relationship, you must know some things about her past and what's on her plate. That's how I deal with my SO, It should work out. I was there at my 6 months, but it's been 4 months later. It's completely normal to go through this, like any other relationship.

I don't mean to sound negative or imply that there are things that can't be salvaged, but generally the sort of situation the OP described is *not* "completely normal" and people thinking it is tends to be what prolongs bad relationships that don't work.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

If you really don't want to break up, maybe you can try what we just did. A few weeks ago, after a bad argument, we mutually decided to unplug for a while, so we could sort out our own issues. We set a limit of 5 weeks. Well, last night, the 11th day, after some serious soul searching, and realizations that I was the needy control freak in the relationship, being unreasonable, expecting more than my sweet, hard-working guy could realistically give me, and then flying off the handle and verbally blasting him...I wrote to him and apologized, and asked if we could reconnect, or if he thought we needed more time and space. And I told him if he thought we needed more time and space, I would respect him, and try to be stronger and more patient. I was surprised at how fast he replied. The first thing he said was, I've missed you, too. I asked him if we could be Facebook friends again (I had impulsively unfriended him after the fight), and he said yes, it's easier that way. So I sent him a request and he immediately accepted me. And we had a nice chat last night, and are glad to be back on track with each other.

Anyway, my point is that we could have just broken up, but instead, we chose to take a "time out" and set a limit to how long we would unplug. By unplug, I mean we went off the grid, no Facebook, no Twitter, no Skype. Since it was my idea to do this, I felt like I was the one to reconnect, too. I'm glad I did. We have both put a lot of time, effort, and love into this, and it would be sad to break up, because of my own stubborn streak, control issues, and insecurity...all fixable issues.

[KrazyKat]

I'm kind of like your girlfriend when it comes to not wanting to talk about what is bothering me. I like to sort through things in my own mind, at my own pace, and I don't always want to talk about what it is that is bothering me. Sometimes I let my SO know that something is bothering me, so that if I seem to be acting distant or rude they know it is because I've got things going on that I need to figure out and it's not because of them. I like to make sure I give myself time to thoroughly work through my thoughts and emotions and sort everything out. Which may take minutes, hours, days, or sometimes weeks. A lot of the time when I've finally resolved what was going on I son't want to talk about it then either because I don't want to have to deal with it anymore, spend anymore time on it, or maybe it was simply something that was an overreaction and not even worth discussing. It bothers my SO when I don't talk about what it is I'm working through but a lot of the time it simply isn't worth discussing because I can resolve it on my own and talking about certain things just start a long drawn out discussion about something I no longer care about or want to think about and usually get blasted away for feeling the way I felt. It's not worth the emotional drain to walk someone else through it, have them get upset as well, and then have to calm them down and make sure they're ok when what I went through didn't even have anything to do with them. That might seem selfish but I have physical health problems and holding serious conversations and dealing with emotions takes A LOT out of me so if it's not something to do with my SO I really don't like having to deal with their emotions on something in my life that I've already solved. Again, selfish, I know, but I just don't have the energy for it a lot (most) of the time.

However if what is bothering me has to do with my SO or it will affect them in any way and it is something they should know, I do of course have the conversation with them. After properly sorting through my emotions on the matter so that I am as prepared as I can be for the conversation so that I can properly explain things and make sure they know where I'm coming from and how I'm feeling so that the conversation can hopefully go smoothly and I can hopefully make it through before my body shuts down.

Some people just need to process things on their own and when they're done, maybe they'll decide it wasn't as big of a deal and it's not something worth discussing for whatever reason. If she does need her space to sort through things I would suggest that you give her as much time as she needs and if it's something she needs to bring to you I'm sure she will. If you are worried what is bothering you has to do with you perhaps you could simply ask her to assure you that it isn't something to do with you or that if it is if she will try to open up to you about it when she is ready. You may not feel as though she is respecting your feelings but clearly she feels you are not respecting hers either. If she absolutely refuses to be open about if it has to do with you and refuses to at least try to open up about it if it is to do with you then there is a problem. But if it doesn't have to do with you maybe you could try to respect that she just isn't ready at this point in time to open up about everything. Maybe it's something little and stupid and she knows she's being childish by being upset about it and she doesn't want to admit that to you because she thinks you'll judge her for it. Six months IS a short time to be completely open about all aspects of your life and all of your flaws. Of course you want to know more but maybe she isn't ready yet, or feels it will scare you off. I don't know because I don't know either of you but I thought maybe you'd like to hear from someone who can kind of see where she might be coming from with some of things you mentioned.

Also, as far as the gaming in the morning thing instead of getting on skype... I... I absolutely MUST have some time to myself every morning, sometimes a few minutes, sometimes a few hours, I just need time to prepare myself for dealing with other people, including my SO. Again, yes, maybe selfish, but I'd rather be selfish and get my time to myself doing something I enjoy than be crabby towards my loved ones and want to bite their heads off because I didn't have my time to myself. I do text my SO to say good morning but anything more than texting just is not gonna happen or I'm gonna be mean because I need to work through my weird morning brain funk. And the facebook thing, is it really something you NEEDED to know? Did she really need a reason to delete it? It might seem like a big deal to you but she did give you an answer and you chose not to accept it and continue to question her about it. I probably would have gotten annoyed too.

Please know, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm not trying to stick up for your SO, not trying to downplay your emotions at all, I simply wanted to see if maybe I could help you see it from another light seeing as I seem to have a few things in common with your SO. I most certainly do not ever want to disregard my SO's feelings and would never intentionally do so, but I do need to be able to do things my way for my own sanity. Or I say things I do not mean that hurt my SO's feelings which is what I'm trying to avoid.

Sorry for such a long post.