Long distance break

[YoungMarine]

So I'm a Marine stationed in Okinawa japan I've been here 7 months I have 17 more to go. Me and my girlfriend have gone threw a break up this week. Bear in mind she's a senior in highschool but she's very mature for her age. At least until this happened she started getting depressed from the distance because she's going threw a hard time in her life she's finishing up highschool she's about to go to a college two hours away from home she doesn't feel she's ready for it and getting upset. Now she also said she's feeling distant from me because I've been gone for so long with a 14 hour time difference and she's starting to want that physical affection that I can't provide. She feels caged like she can't do anything without wondering what I would think or if I'm judging her. She wants to be young and free but feels like I'm caging her. So all these changes without me being there for support for it made her decide to break up with me. She said I'm not breaking up with you forever just right now I need to figure my own life out and a long distance relationship is too much for a girl in highschool. I come home in two months she's agreed to see me and I want to remind her why she decided in the first place that she was going to wait it out. I need some advice for these two months She said she's not going to see other guys or anything just that she wants to figure herself up. I am a torn up mess we were together a year and a half, all long distance but we made it work and were closer than any relationship I've ever seen. So I need to remind her what we have and how special it was. I don't know what to do my only hope I have is to win her back when I'm on leave. I need advice I'm falling apart here.

[itsjen516]

I'm sorry that's really hard. Let her have some time it might be healthy but I'm sure she will soon relaize she missss you. But give her the space let her clear her mind with school and just life. It's good she said she won't see other guy. But do make sure you at least keep a friendship talk when you can and see what happens.
Best of luck and keep us updated

[temporaryuser]

Your whole relationship has been ld? How many times have you seen each other?
She is definitely going thru a lot of change - finishing hs is big, going away to college is huge. Being tied down to a millitary guy that there is no chance of closing the distance with for atleast 4 years can be a very daunting thought. She is afraid that she is missing out on being a teen - having the same eexperiences as everyone else. Those experiences dont have to involve dating multplie guys, bnut I can see where she would feel like you may get upset if she were to go out being a "teen".
You being millitary have a totally different lifestyle.
Give her some space. Try to keep in touch, but dont pressure her

[differentcountries]

This sounds dishonest to me. If she doesn't want the relationship, she doesn't have to be in it. If she wants to have the flirting and partying of her peers, I guess you would have to draw a limit somewhere. Either way, a break usually mean people want to break up, especially if she is not up to the challenges of her age, like school.

[Moon]

I am sorry hun, but she's right, she's too young for this. A highschooler just shouldn't be in this situation, she should be free and able to focus on high school life. Should she have to skip prom, homecoming. and all those clandestine high school parties? She needs to do her thing, learn from her mistakes, not have to worry about someone thousands of miles away, live her life like the teen she is. Let her have her freedom, don't pressure her, and stay in touch, she's not ready for the type of commitment you need from her.

[nerdgasm42]

First of all, sending hugs your way. Thank you for your service.

You are both so young. I know you probably get tired of hearing that, but it's the truth. I would get so mad when I was young and people would tell me things, and would never listen. I got married at the age of 20....and divorced at 22. It was really a horrible situation. But I digress.

Do you remember your senior year of high school? I do, like it was yesterday. It was filled with stress, emotions, and squeezing in every last opportunity before life changed forever. She's already going through so much, and then having you so far away just adds to that. It sounds like it's been very difficult for both of you, but she's got all this other stuff weighing her down too, and she needs a lifesaver to stay afloat. My opinion is to respect her wishes. Give her space, but don't disappear. Be friendly and supportive of her. Let her know you understand all that she is going through. Show her that you can be the rock she can lean on.

I hope that your visit goes well when you get the chance to come home, and that you will keep us posted on how things go. Sending all my best your way.

[YoungMarine]

I never told her to do that, she went to her prom and I always encourage her going out with friends

[YoungMarine]

I appreciate all the support and thank you. It's hard cause I know she has this massive support system of friends and family I've got me and my brothers who don't really understand there solution is hey man I got us some beer. But I understand everything everyone's saying and thank you I appreciate it.

[piratemama]

Thank you for serving our country. People have no idea the sacrifices you make for us, including this heartache you are going through now.

I'm not sure what advice to give, though. My first instinct was to tell her that it is fine, that you wanted a break, too, and that she should date others during the time. You know, the idea of I'm not going to let you know how much you are hurting me. I'm prideful. I wouldn't want my SO to know how sad I was. If he wanted distance, I'd force myself to go out with friends and try to find someone, anyone, to date.

But, then, I thought about how young she is. I have known many young couples that started out as teens and then went on to marry. You two may indeed be right for each other. If you love her, it would certainly be worth the effort to support her for this time. If you can keep up the lines of communication with her, then you might make it through.

An LDR is hard for any of us. For us older folks, 2 years doesn't sound as long. For a teen, though, 2 years can sound like forever. I wonder if you have made any promises to her regarding the end of the 2 years. If she knows that you will be spending some time with her in person asap, it might make it easier. If she can't picture what might happen, it is harder. I was like that with my SO. He didn't want to make promises he couldn't keep, but the unknown was driving me crazy. If I had a finishing line at the end of the race to strive toward, I knew I could make it.

I hope things work out. I know it's tough without a support system in place, and people don't get an LDR. I wish I could help more. I would suggest that you find someone here that is also a guy that might be willing to PM with you some. That might give you the support you need. I'm sure there are other guys around you that left girlfriends at home. Maybe you could casually ask around to see if anyone else is having the same issues? I understand it's different around tough Marines, though. I only hope you can find the help you need to get through this time.